Flame Warriors ~ View topic - Book Pt 4

Lone Ranger

-Someone who starts a new topic that generates a big discussion, but never replies to it, or defends it, simply posts, then vanishes. Re-emerging about a month later with "the next big thing"

suggest Never In Context

I found my most hated enemies not represented ... The guy whom either misquotes you , argues your quotes out of context , adds the quotes of others to yours to make it seem rediculous , or argues PART of your statement as if it were the whole thing ? I HATE that guy ... Yeah , HE deserves his own slot here ...

The Firestarter

The Firestarter... starts the battle, then disappears and lets others do the fighting, usually being a Lurker as they sit back and admire their handiwork in riling up everyone else. Firestarter would be totally ineffective if it wasn't for his partner Kindling... which serve to reignite a fire that had burned out, or never even got started and then causes it to spread, intentionally yanking in the more effective warriors.

SHERLOCK AND HOLMES

Sherlock loves to look up IP #'s of new users just because he can. He squirrels away these #'s, often for use in battling Imposters, Lurkers, Stealth, etc. He is often quite effective against these types, but his tactics are of limited use against types that don't give a damn whether they are known or not. Sherlock is often allied to Xenophobe. Holmes, on the other hand, pretends to be an IP-sleuth but really knows nothing of the sort. He deserves what he gets. WARNING: May be Imposter or Troller.

Cyber-Stalker

You need to do a cyber-stalker, as they are on nearly every public forum and even on some of the "private" ones. Not stalker as in "I want your body", but stalker as in harrassment. Lurking, never contributing to any conversation till the one person shows up that they despise. How anyone can have that much vehemence about someone in cyber-space, I'll never know or understand. Thanks for your work, it's given many of us a hearty belly-laugh more than a few times.

Individualist.

He hates socialism and taxes, and believes in the self-made man. He has no patience for authorities intruding on people's private sphere and will oppose censorship in discussion forums. Although "Individualist" advocates reason and thus may be confused with Conservative "Ideologue", the latter will probably dismiss him as dogmatic and insensible to others. Although some "Troglodytes" will ally themselves with "Individualist", he is mostly all alone in the world. But who says he doesn't prefer it that way? Caution: "Individualist" may be a "Troller".

Sports Fan

I agree with that Tom guy. How about (sorry if any have been done already) sports fan -he shouts through microphone asking scores constantly on non sports related sites or stinky room man he eats ice cream all day,farts and looks at star wars sites or computer game sites only to return to playing computer games. Or more pranksters like teenagers arranging to meet people by "the bus stop" or the "hill" claiming they have identical lifes to the chat room person. Chat room person would be a good one as they don't like to say anything of content just code like lol or symbols (some meet up as groups in real life!). Great site!

Identity Theif

Here's one, although it seems to be kind of a subcategory of Imposter (and I seemed to possibly catch hints of it elsewhere, so if it's already been covered, no problem): The IDENTITY THIEF, who is able work most effectively on the non-email based fora, who uses another warriors identity for some sort of attack. Said attack may be from any particular warrior's repertoire, and will give clues as to the true identity of the THIEF. Anyway, thanks for a great site.

Dweeb.

I see this type a lot and find it annoying. You can spot them because they always make pop culture analogies. If Compost flames them, they'll make a comparison to Joe Pesci in Goodfellas or some other foul-mouth in a movie. Or maybe somebody will ask a technical question and Dweeb will say something like, "It's like that time on Star Trek when the Enterprise ran out of dilithium crystals..."

Good Citizen

. I like "Bastion" but have a more generic idea of the "Good Citizen." S/He's a forum frequenter who is in good standing with the management as well as most of the regular citizens. S/He's like a Royal but with a little less visibility. S/He's just there and occasionally contributes, but not as rarely as the Lurker. Another way S/He might be referred to is as a "Reg" (One of the Regulars). Then there's "The Fonz." S/He's so cool other Flamers appear weak, even if they have strong arguments. When "The Fonz" walks in, everybody shows respect.

The Fonz.

S/He's so cool other Flamers appear weak, even if they have strong arguments. When "The Fonz" walks in, everybody shows respect. S/He has many followers, basically clinging to Her/Him like groupies. "The Fonz" is usually a guy, but can be female. S/He also has some web savy, able to "fix" cyber problems usually by pointing to a few links. Another name might be "Guru" and makes "The Fonz" similar to another suggestion here, "Lama." "The Fonz" is a formidible adversary, having won many flame wars, earning those coolness points and respect. Then there's the "Blonde." "DOH, i new that! Oh well dosen't matter, liike I was sayiong there was this sell on shoes, and i lost my compact, and this cute guy walked by, and I broke a nale, wahat time arr yuo going to the mall?" Etc. Got a few more but may be running out of space, sooo, I will "Fillibuster" to the next slot... Awwa \A/

The "Tag Team."

Similar to the "Big Dog and Me Too." But these guys work together a lot. They are like wrestlers, usually formidible, but there may be some ametuers in this field too. They work together using a combination of many of the other tactics in a dizzying array of assaults. However, they may in fact be the same person using two ID's, especially if they're an "Imposter." Occasionally they are more of the "Big Dog and Me Too" type, if in fact they are working as a "Mentor and Prodigee" (a deviation of either mentioned types). And finally, the creepiest, "The Stalker!" "The Stalker" really is psychotic. Her/His prey is usually a love interest. They will glean as much info as they can about their target, chronicalling times they are online, archiving PM's, and performing other bizarre rites. "Stalkers" can be harmless "Lonely Guys" but generally can't leave their obscession alone on the net. "The Stalker" will if possible make Real Life connections

1. The Poseur

A Profundus Maximus in training, hangs around a forum just long enough to pick up a few buzzwords and parrots them back at every opportunity without understanding.

2. The Stinging Nettle.

Across between the Jerk and the Stone Deaf, never actually answers an argument, but instead makes some snide little remark as a non-responsive response.

Date May 22, 2002
Name Troy J.
STRAW KING (deliberately twists and misinterprets oppenents' points into easily defeated Straw Man arguments), and COPY-CAT or PLAGIARIST (rips off clever/witty ideas, flames, or sayings from literature or other forums and tries to pass them off as his own). Also you should put up a message board on this site for fledgling Flame Warriors LOL.

Libido:

A cousin of Lonely Guy and almost always male, there are two distinct stages to Libido's growth cycle. Libido (immature) visits forums randomly, sending "age/sex/pic?" and "do u cyber?" messages to other members. Generally harmless, he seldom remains in one place for long and quickly disappears if ignored. Libido (mature) uses forums as his personal matchmaking service, and he is much more devious. Once he finds a forum containing a member who is single and in his target age group, he often disguises himself as Eagle Scout in an attempt to gain favor. Can be recognized by his unusually high interest in asking off-topic personal questions of forum members, especially his targeted match, and by his eagerness to promote his own virtues. Seldom engages in direct conflict with other Warriors on his own initiative, but when his chosen one goes to battle he is always right t

The L33t /\/\@/\/.

Constantly wandering into forums and often posting in a computer geek language known as 'l33t', he quickly sets off other warriors for his lack of proper english and the amount of trouble it takes to actually read one of his posts. he is often harmless and usualy un-armed but when you set one of these guys off...watch out. they could be freinds with a few propeller heads..

suggest Amine

Make an anime-freak warrior. ;)

The Lover.

Genuine love for the subject discussed has brought him into this forum and his postings are always perfectly well on topic, contrarily to the majority of the other postings in the forum. Once the discussion only gradually moves away from where it started, the Lover will not be seen anymore in the thread and he will only pop up again for a new one, which is of course perfectly on topic.

Jock:

He is quick to anger but cannot come up with very many creative responses. When he does, he will lord it over his opponent as though he won a sports event. He will often try to change the subject to sports. I know, it sucks, but it's all I could think up at 2:06 AM...

DRAMA QUEEN

- preferably a female (but sometimes a male), she constantly gets involved in fights about personal matters, whines because she "thought she had friends on this forum", and very often she threatens to leave the forum, only to reappear a couple of days later when she has calmed down. But don't worry, she will do it again !

JESTER

- this is a role rather than a Flame Warrior type as such. There is probably one of these (sometimes more than one if the board's membership is big enough) on every board. (S)he is the one who can get away with just about anything (including a degree of open defiance of the board's rules) - because (s)he is not taken seriously. Jesters are appointed by informal consensus; sometimes they are de-fanged and de-clawed incarnations of other warriors (such as Evil Clown) and the appointment is not necessarily either sought or welcomed.

KLUTZ:

Whether technically incompetent lazy, or just plain ignorant, klutz has an uncanny knack for making mistakes whenever posting. In these modern days where everyone has a computer and forums are becoming more and more sophisticated, Klutzes are more rampant due to a combination of the fact that the average netizen is less "computer savvy" and the average forum goer has more to learn. Klutz posts broken links as evidence to his arguments. Klutz tries to bold a sentence and instead bolds the rest of his post. Klutz tries to make a reply to a post and instead creates a new thread. Klutz tries to edit his post and instead deletes it. In battle, Klutz is (usually) a non-entity simply because most other warriors ignore his botched posts (which is generally all of them)

Retiree

How about the Retiree? Almost always male, in his 50's or 60's, new to home life after a long career, one day plops himself down in front of the new computer the wife bought him to keep him from messing around with her daily routine. Discovers the Internet, discovers his relative anonymity, and then discovers after a lifetime of being nice, he's ready to tell the world -- and you -- how he REALLY feels. Duck for cover, he's Flame Warrior equivalent of a shrapnel bomb!

Hand Wringer:

Hand wringer is carries the fear and worry of the world into the bulletin board. Be it global warming, the elimination of civil liberties by the current administration or the middle east, hand wringer is the offical chicken little. He can be an effective warrior tiring out all comers merely by repeating his assertions and declaring those who disagree to be ignorant of the truth. Hand Wringer typically acts as a Sycophant or Me-too to any Big Dogs who would echo his warnings and fears, and can count on Weenie and Idealogue in any fight. Caution: Troller may masquerade as Hand Wringer.

The Hitman

The hitman does not engage in grueling battles, but observes, waits for his enemy to reveal his weakness, and takes them out with a precise and lethal single shot. The hitman is not a lurker or stealth per se, but rather is often an outgoing and popular member of the community when not engaged in battle. If he chooses to use his skills for Good, he can be a valuable assett to the forum; however should he choose to work for Evil, he can be extremely dangerous, and is often a challenging match even for the kung-fu master, and always leaves casualties even in defeat.

Satirist

You need a category for people who post flames in the form of satirical fiction, poems, or song lyrics. I've seen a good deal of this in the forums I frequent but it doesn't fit any of the categories you have. Imagine an Evil Clown with a Philosopher's skill. I guess Satirist would work.

The Kamikaze.

This warrior follow a thread... post a troll, and disappear. You never see him/her again (at least, under the same nickname)

Plagiarist

Diagonally related to Pithy Phrase is the Plagiarist (or perhaps you can come up with more clever name, I lack a thesaurus at the moment) The Plagiarist consistently tries to pass off the wit and wisdom of others as his own. Maybe you already have him/her; but I couldn't find him. He varies by degree, sometimes choosng the more obscure; but often is painfully obvious.

Random/Imakuni?Neo:

This warrior does not seem to engage in combat, ever. Instead, he pops into random topics with just as random a response. Sometimes, he uses the same response for a period of time before finding another one that fits his fancy. Other times, he'll use whatever random word he happens to think of. While generally harmless, he tends to disrupt serious conversations, sometimes causing them to change from intelligent discussions to spam fests as others follow his random posts with randomness of their own. It is for these reasons that he often causes nannies headaches and admins migraines, who have trouble keeping up with his constant, random posting.

The Changeling:

On the surface, he resembles the Imposter and Stealth because of his ability to alter identities at will and remain secretive. However, Looks can be decieving. The Changeling is one who not only disguises himself as other Warrior types, but can impliment many of their more powerful attacks with amazing effectiveness. While he may not be as thick headed as Stone Deaf, Ferrous Crannus, or Lamer, he is noted to stand his ground on certain, personal issues. He is often seen in forums, yet rarely engages in direct combat. Because of that, he is often mistaken for Kung-fu master, lurker, or Philosopher. When he does engage, he often attacks with a variety of different attacks. He's been noted to lash out like Jekle and Hyde, use personal attacks like Jerk, or use another warriors comments against him like Nitpick. Like Stone Deaf, kung-fu master, Rebel Leader, and Administrator, The Changeling is a very powerful warrior with few effective threats against him. Nanny and Administrator are the only ones truly effective against the Changeling. The Philosopher and Therapist are known to calm the Changeling at times when the Administrator or Nanny is not availiable. Bruce

An entry

The Attention Getters.. The Know-It-Alls... The Bitter Bags... Snots Cheerleaders Yuppie Club Those are just a few of my suggestions.

The Icon

I am an amalgamation of all of the warriors. It is my goal to become an icon on the board in as short a time as possible at any cost. I blaze through the board, turning all the sex and dateing topics on their heads for a couple of months. Once a high post count is acheived and I am more well known than people who have been there for 2 years, I settle in and am in on every single flame war on the board. I upkeep my icon staus by deliberately reinforceing people's idea of me as a wacky character who is undeafeatable in flame wars. I win every argument because I select boards that attract people who have weak logic structures and stay away from the conspiracy theorists in current affairs. It is necessary for my character to never take a real beating. She always wins. I have seen others who are like this, so I thought it may interest you to think about THE ICON.

Retiree

-- This warrior no longer participates in whatever occupation or hobby with which the board is nominally concerned, but nevertheless continues to visit the message board. Retirees will spend most of their time in off-topic discussions, but each has a particular issue or two which will rouse them to return to the battlefield. Often, a Retiree is a former Big Dog, now much gentler, but who still possesses a powerful bite.

Devil's Advocate

He takes on either side of any arguement, using his pick up of information offered forth by others on both sides & trolls for support from the readers. I'm sure you can embellish the discription further. I consider myself to be a Devil's Advocate...Geo

PunMeister

There needs to be an illustration for the PunMeister.

The Victim:

A person who's main attack is the other warrior's best insults. For example, make an otherwise legitimate point and Victim will quickly find every way to convince you that was a direct/personal attack on him/her and therefore gaining the upperhand. ;P Maybe there are flame warriors similar to this persona,(i.e Crybaby and Innocence Abused) but I think many flame warriors fall under this exact description. LOL Just an idea. I think this site is very innovative and creative; keep up the good work!

Hyopcritical Preachers and Nationalist and Smoke Bomb

"Hyopcritical Preachers" that tell others how to behave and then turn around and do EXACTLY what they just chastized you for. Also, you have no category just for the Counterstrike player. You could spot this one by his leet speak and feverish attacks on those that dont like the eternal CS. Also, what about

Nationalist (Patriot) Flamers that feel the need to attack others based on national affiliation. Another weapon besides the Grenade is often the

Smoke Bomb, often used to mask the current topic with some other issue or to incite confusion so as to either escape the discussion (i.e. Well, off to bed or I have to go to work) or simply put flamers off balance. In the swarm category would also be the "land mine". Getting hit by a swarm often occurs when a newbie posts a topic on a recen

suggest Supporter and Non Supporter

. The first one is the person that supports (insert company here , although it's most often Microsoft) without question. It doesent matter what the company does , or how bad of a product it puts out or what arguments people use against the company. The person will always support them and will refuse to have any negative opinions about it not matter what. While such devotion may at first seem great the person often ends up becoming drone like in their support of the company.

The second kind of person is the complete oposite. They will always hate (insert company here again often is Microsoft). It doesent matter what positive things the company does or if it puts out a great product, the person will continue to badmouth it constantly. I guess it's sort of like right wing left wing or any other arugment where there are 2 main sides which are extremes and neither is "the best".

Seagull

Why is there no seagull? (Flies in, craps on everything, and leaves.)

The Whiner

- someone who types long, personal posts about how traumatised and vulnerable she is right now and then proceeds to argue a stupid and indefensible position, having effectively made the rest of the forum so afraid that they might emotional scar her that they just smile and nod. 2) The Pimp - the guy who constantly boasts that he is more popular and has more street-cred than anyone else on the board, making constant references to his cannabis habit and under-age sex. He then boldly proclaims that anyone who disagrees with him is a nerd and needs to get a life. NOTE: This is a VERY common excuse (assuming one is given, of course) used to defend stupid comments and poor grammar, or as a cheap escape route from any Warrior trying to defend against his constant anti-nerd flaming - "yea, like i care wat u think dumbf**k, at least i dont spend my entire life on this board like u losers. god, just... get a f**king life". When ask

Sci-Fighter and subgroup leet-speaker

I am appalled that you have left out one of the most feared Flame Warriors, the one I am named for: Sci-Fighter. I have sent you an email describing the tactics that the Sci-Fighter uses; I know these tactics, as I am a retired Sci-Fighter myself. Also, be warned: there is a sub-class of the Sci-Fighter that utilizes a variation on Garble's tactics, called the 13375P33|<3|2Z (translation Leet-Speakers). These warriors are often Propeller Head/Sci Fighter combinations who talk to others of their group in symbols and letters. Said language most likely developed from hackers who would encode their messages in a similar manner, using simple cryptography and symbol/number substitution.

Parsight (sic)

I have a idea for a new flame warrior. This is based on a guy that causes countless problems on a message board I visit: This guy is a combination of so many of the many flamr warriors that he cannot really be classified as simply being on or two of them. He started of as a nice and normal board user. He posted constructive comments. then suddenly one day for lack of a better way to put it he turned evil. He responded to almost everyones comments with insults and put downs and cursed at everyone. Some people responded with curse words but they had no effect , others tried to ignore him but he just kept on posting. A tactic he loved to use would be to say a user is a "such and such" because of something they said months or even years ago. When everyone on the board got sick of his tactics and ignored him he would flood the board, which would get him banned from it. but he would just come right on back with a new identity, flood it again and again get banned. This would go on for 2-3 more times before he appeared to be gone. Everything was fine for several weeks then he came back and the cycle repeated. Unfortunatly because of him the entire board is now paranoid and whenever a new guy comes on and says anything even a little out of line people auto assume that it's the same guy comming back (which often leads to them attacking him , which often causes the new guy to become just like the old one). As a sugestion for a name for such a person. I think parsight or virus would do.

The Crapflooder:

Boldly soaking of gig after gig of bandwidth with crossposted nonsense from paranoid homepages, bad erotica, and technical journals.

Jedi Knight

I'd probably class myself here. One tries to be a kung-fu master, succeeding much of the time, but... Everybody's got that little bit of Jekyll and Hyde. The Jedi sees how much fun the evil clowns and suchlike have, and it's so tempting. And thus the Dark Side beckons, tempting one to use those calm kung-fu posting skills for naughtiness. A Jedi can but hope to be strong enough in the Force to resist the Dark Side and use the kung-fu skills only for knowledge and defence...

The Squater

....the person who parks his ass in a chat room and refuses to leave, despite how "lame" he percieves the forum to be. Squater wins his battles simply by remaining on the feild of battle the longest. Like Stone-deaf, but with a bigger mouth!

Dethroned Royal

What is a dethroned royal?

The Poet:

A person who responds only in poetry or metaphor, either their own or someone else's. They can be maddening to others who don't have the patience to read into what they are trying to say.

Mom:

usually a woman, but can be a man. Takes Acne, Net Rat and other young or weak warriors under her wing, and will champion them even when no one else does. Is very protective and nurturing of her charges, speaking for them when she must.

Spy:

Spy works primarily behind the scenes, knows how to hack into private messages, email, etc. and therefore knows what really goes on "under" the forums, who likes who, who hates who, etc. May have a number of disguises or aliases, so it's harder to catch onto what he's doing. Occasionally pops up and makes not so subtle references to what he knows about people's private business, then disappears, only to reappear later, usually with a name change.

The Little Guy

- Enters the fray with the tell tale opening line of "You all seem very knowledgeable on this topic, and I'm sure you know much more than I do about it, but what I DO know is...." The Little Guy attempts to use his lack of actual knowledge to paint himself as the fresh voice of common sense battling against the established way of thinking. An exceptionally frustrating flame warrior, because while very adamant in what he believes, he often genuinely IS uneducated on the issue being discussed. Still, The Little Guy is sometimes actually Imposter, or a troller or idealogue visiting from another forum.

Take Ball And Go Home

I would like to suggest the "Take Ball And Go Home" flame. This would describe the sore person who announces he is leaving the group only to find that no one cares and in fact, every one tells him not to let the door hit him in the ass when he goes.

suggest Rebel Leader's Me-Too.

Have a question though...what would you say, in your list (or not yet, as the case may be), would be the best description for someone who basically sides with people like "Rebel leader" just for the reason of their being "bad-asses"? Believe me, I've seen plenty of people who just want to FIGHT THE POWER!!! but don't have the guts to be the "Rebel Leader", and just bear a silly grudge against the forum rulers. They're usually one of "Rebel Leader"'s revolting army. ;) Keep up the good work!

The Straw-Man Builder

It's "The Straw-Man Builder." You know the type. You present your reasons for your support of a position complete with statistics from respected research organizations and your opponent simply responds by accusing you of wanting to be a member of the Taliban. When debating a straw-man-builder you constantly have to keep asking, "Where did I say THAT?" "Please quote me where I said THAT!!!"

suggest Old Royals

Some very active long-term posters effectively retire from discussion forums only to re-emerge occasionally to put newbies and the like in place. They're a retired or exiled version of the "Royals", I suppose. Some of them have even acquired legendary status (merited or not), so that people keep mentioning their past exploits even if they haven't been around for months.

Hmm a comment

There's gotta be a class version of Ethnix. That is, where Ethnix says "I'm a minority, so I must be right," this person (the Aristocrat, perhaps? But they exist at both ends of the scale. Maybe the Aristocrat and the Populist) says "I'm {rich|poor}, so I must be right." The poor ones will often accuse other people of elitism. The Coffee Klatcher resident in a newgroup I read tried the Aristocrat strategy a couple of times early on. But if Populist is the person who is right because he or she is poor, what do we call the person who denounces any attempt to enforce forum rules, including unenforceable pleas that other people follow them, as elitist?

Old Fart

Well, I'm an "Old Fart" which is sorta like the Xenophobe..Someone who has been around for quite a while, and reminices about the "good old days". Old Farts generally don't mind newbies, but do gripe about changes in policy, or direction of a forum. Old Farts while not anti-newbie, won't listen to anyone "newer" than them, even if they are in a position of Power. Old Farts feel that the fact that they've been around so long, that they deserve special treatment. anyway, great site!

Net Mime and Artist

I'd like to suggest "Net Mime" and "Artist" warriors. A Net Mime relies almost exclusivly on pictures all over the internet. They have been known to "grief" other warriors with inappropriate content or anything else that gets another warrior's goat. While it is a tactic often used by such warriors as Acnes, Evil Clowns, L'Enfant Provocateurs, and Lamers, the Net Mime specializes in it and that often makes him a formidable warrior.

An Artist has the means to create his/her own material and use it as their weapon, may it be a scanned painting, a Flash movie, home video, ect.. They don't normally use such a weapon on everyday people, but when they are in a pitched argument, they will most certainly use it against their enemies. An unskilled artist, however, will often have their artistic skills backfire on them and do them more harm than good. I really like your site and I hope to see more warrior types in the future!

1337

How about the l337 warrior, the guy who speaks entirely in l337-5p34k (aka leet speak)? Love your work! Kre'Goete

Hypcritical Asshole

I couldn't find a warrior for me. How about hypcritical asshole?

Hyperactive

You should also add "Hyperactive" who posts everywhere just to be on the forum leader list

German Shepherd

"German Shepherd(or labrador retreiever)" This character is similar to the Eagle Scout. It is a positive influence to the forum, posting intelligent commetns and having intellectual discussion. It is very loyal to its friends, and will be quick to attack anyone who attacks its allies, and it can be bitter to the shallow teenage girls who talk about the hottest guys in the forums. It is only truly nasty when cornered. Usually if it is insulting someone it will use sarcasm or just question the action without an insult.

Webcam Slut

"Webcam Slut" Webcam Slut is a stronger form of Strumpet. This female character has revealing pictures that look like they are the "tame" pictures of a porn star. When someone proves she is fake by finding a picture on some website, she will beging to attack that person based on physical appearance. She will tell other girls that insult her that, "they just wish they had a body like she had." when she is proven false, after awhile, she melts away and is replaced by two

Naive.

Naive does not understand sarcasm, references, or jokes. He will post short messages saying "What does that mean?" or "I don't get it." Often Naive is an attempt to embarrass other Warriors off the field of combat by making them explain themselves ad infinitum. Weak, but very annoying and difficult to get rid of.

Machiavelli

Also, I didn't see myself in your list of flame warriors. My tactics are to numb the opponent with false friendship and get them to say things that are to the advantage of my *real* purpose, then turn on them at the last second when they are engrossed in battle, and use their prior postings to haul them down. This requires a keen understanding of the public / private voice. Machiavellis are usually English Grad students who delight in pretending they are something other than what they are in order to gain the confidence of their opponent, when all the while they are composing their ultimate strategy in secret. Backstabbers, all of them.

Novelist

. How about Novelist? Unlike Tireless Rebutter, Novelist responds with a single post so long it could pass as a dissertation. Usually composed of a seemingly endless list of points and arguments supported by deeply researched documentation, Novelist's attacks prove devestating as no one has the time or patience to read the entire thing and generally just concede the point. While Novelist can wear down even the sturdiest Warrior he is enraged by Nitpick, and Grammarian who dismiss his eloquent oratory because he failed to capitolize a proper noun on page fifteen.

The Lama:

The most well-known member of a forum. Legend has it that they were one of the few founders, or perhaps the founder itself; some may say he materialized along with the birth of the forum. Lama knows everything, and will gladly share it with those who wish to learn. Lama never participates in any heated forum discussion, preferring the way of nonviolence and pacifism to the active battles of the Flame Warriors. The holy man is regarded by the more etiquette-wise Warriors as a wise saint, by the Admin and Nanny as a great ally, and by Evil Clown, Troller, and their ilk an impervious wall. Lama's goal is to become One with the Forum, capable of understanding whatever may pass through it and accepting it without emotion or reaction.

Captain Overreaction

Perhaps another suggestion (sharing qualities with many of your existing list) is Captain Overreaction. Functioning as a soi-disant policeman, he interrupts the most pleasant, reasoned discussion with an alarmed post (Whoa, flames everywhere here) recommending everyone just cool down, take a deep breath and step back. Generally follows with a sycophantic plea to lock or delete the thread based on the non-existent animosity he has detected in the arguments.

The Tattler

How about a character named "The Tattler"? This is the person who immediately points out any small transgression of forum rules. Usually screams for the Admin to step in and delete the offending posts. Different slightly from the crybaby in that this person whines not just for forum member sympathy but for action to be taken by the moderator.

The Ghost.

The Ghost is a retired poster who comes back to bless those who he's had a good relationship with and spook current posters who he hated when he posted on the board. The Ghost's most powerul weapon is that he has information on current posters, and if the current posters try to strike back, all he can do is slip back into the hereafter. The only silver lining about ghosts is that they have no new information on posters, so if the old information doesn't affect the posters like it used to, the ghost becomes impotent.

The bastion.

I treat flaming like siege warfare from the middle ages. I usually build a huge fortress of facts around a single sound argument. I usually ad some easly sacrificed side arguments around "The bastion" ,just to confuse the casual flamer. Most determined flamers are usually "thrown of the wall" withing the first 10 minutes. This leaves you plenty of time to "sally forth" to crush any opposition.

French Knight: " I unclog my nose in your direction, sons of a window dresser. So, you think you could outclever us french folks with your silly, knees-bent, running-about, advancing behavior? I wave my private parts at your aunties, you cheesy-leather, second-hand, electric donkey bottom biters. "

King Arthur: "In the name of the Lord, open this door! "

French Knight: "No chance english bed-wet "

The Paranoid Marxist

May I recommend The Paranoid Marxist? This bitter netizen, often seen on mailing lists but no stranger to a newsgroup, is the one who will actually verbalize the unspoken hierarchy (as outlined in The Royals) and rail against the monarchy, whom (s)he is convinced is oppressing him/her, robbing him/her of true freedom and happiness on the list/newsgroup. The Paranoid Marxist (TPM) instead envisions a blissful socialistic state in which everyone's contributions are equally valuable and no one is loved more or less than anyone else. The Paranoid Marxist will often foolishly shotgun attack the Administrator while gunning for The Royals, but is usually adept at rallying The Sisters to

Still me...good lord, I'm becoming The Philosopher. The Paranoid Marxist is cunning and great care must be taken. An unwary Administrator has more than once been defeated by TPM -- it usually takes a Kung Fu master to defeat one. CAUTION: What the TPM isn't telling you is that in the secret fantasy driving his/her ideology, all other members come to idolize The Paranoid Marxist and elevate him/her to The Royals or Administrator status.

The Bard

My suggestion for a new Warrior is The Bard. The Bard will post infrequently but each of his posts, usually long and baroque, will have a flowing, lilting poetic majesty that renders the actual value of his ideas only marginally relevant. The Bard will only rarely start a new topic, preferring to sit back for a long time observing an existing one, watching the battle of ideas and flames take form, building a masterpiece in his mind and waiting for the precise moment to unleash it upon the forum. Most people will reply to the Bard's Post with words like "Gosh, that was beautiful!"... however, the Bard's masterpiece will usually sink any thread he dumps it in. A 100 messages/day topic will be reduced to 2 by the coming of The Post. Then the Bard will retire, content with his weighty destruction, waiting in the shadows for as much

suggest Johhny B Bad

I have met some flamers whose entire purpous in life is to roam (Sp?) from place to place just to get themselves banned, these people thoroughly enjoy ridiculing others and take NO offense in anything. People who are helplessly brought in by a friend and are marked as a target with their once cool friend, they blame everything else and cling to the slightest bit of compassion. When they flame thay make it seem as though they are the victoms (sp?) constantly make paths to their real lives in hopes of help from their former friends. This may already have been described but, hey... Anyways, spiffy site keep up the good work! :)

The Paragraphite.

This warrior will post extremely long, rambling posts with no paragraph breaks. If people decide to read them, they will not likely respond due to eye fatigue.

Refresh Monkey

i think "Refresh Monkey" would be a good one. someone who just sits there refreshing their browser waiting for new replies to pounce upon or something of that sort.

Militia Nut

how about 'Militia Nut', basically they are someone (most likely male) who advocate mass firearm ownership, eye for an eye vigilante justice, ideological warfare on the 'commies' and 'hippies' of the world usually under the cloak of threats to national security (Cuba has cigars afterall), and when cornered by the likes of Philosopher and Kung fu master, they usually bring up so their so-called experience in the military (a sceret unit with special training of course so they can't say which) and the fact that they have supposedly killed (and 'seen the light go out of their opponents eyes') to lend them incredible wisdom that somehow manages to transcend all known forms of logic and common sense. Weenie is a bitter opponent, but often ineffective against the 'righteousness' factor that can only come from someone who has claimed to defended freedom and held off the forces of communism and tyranny single ha

The Martyr.

He's actually quite common; watch for him. Martyr is a lone crusader for Truth, victimized by an evil cabal which includes pretty much everybody on the planet. Anyone who disagrees with the Martyr is quickly branded an Oppressor, and killfiling him is an act of Persecution. The mass denunciations and ejections which he provokes simply prove his point -- of COURSE he must be right; why else would there be this global conspiracy to suppress him? The Establishment must be trembling for fear of what Martyr has to say. (The fact that he has already repeated his great revelation over and over again, and the Establishment has not yet crumbled, is completely lost on Martyr.) Martyr is easily recognized by a simple anachronism: he invariably compares himself to Jesus Christ, but his enemies are always Nazis.

Chameleon:

a warrior who uses the other members' posts against them. Chameleon rarely goes into battle alone, relying on the view of other forum members to support his arguments - whether or not said members actually hold the view. (S)he may also invent quotes or posts from other Warriors, believing they would support his/her view. If cornered, Chameleon will refer to obscure posts which have since been deleted from the forum. Chameleons differ from Archivists or Nitpicks in that the latters' arguments, at least, have basis in fact.

Hobbit

Hobbit maybe, a chirpy conteder who will decorate any debate with his wishful comments.

suggest Civil Suits

Ok ok...there's a bit of me in this. Great page. Which warrior would be most likely to threaten frivolous lawsuits? Love it.

Genius

What about an all out genius that surpasses them all? Give him a huge cranium and a laser focused look.

Homeless Puppy

. My suggestion is HOMELESS PUPPY. She usually posts OT about her horribly sad life and is incapable of solving any problems on her own, no matter how minor. Should someone attack, her predictable response (peppered with crying emoticons, since she's almost always 16) is: "I really thought you guys cared about me! Guess I'll leave since everyone hates me." This prompts all the Sisters to alternate between begging Homeless Puppy back and thrashing the offending Jerk who attacked in the first place.

Attention whore

- These are attractive teenage females who always have webcams, and love the attention they get from males on the Internet. They will often appear in suggesting clothes and/or poses. They amass large armies of fanboys that they can use at their disposal.

Discombobulator

- In the middle of a sensitive or serious post, Discombobulator deposits a post of no sense to try and break the train of thought of the forum. He is difficult to track down nor is there any defense, since after his off-topic post, he no longer visits the thread, leaving you feeling unfulfilled in your revenge. Never fear though, one day, HE will be in a serious post. your day to strike will come soon.

Smurf

This isn't an actual flamewarrior, but a fake account, used by one to troll, inflame opposition, and support themselves through a variety of methods. In the case of schizophrenics, they make take to arguing with themselves. SUSPECT EVERYONE.

Bijanki

This enigma is an entirely unique entity. It's names are many: bijanki, Disgruntled Goat, Wowbagger, bliinky, ChimpanA-ChimpanZ, Mr. Glasscock, and countless others. From a central point of superior intellect, humor, post material, critical analysis, proxies and hotmail addresses, it sends forth legions of smurf accounts, arranged in tiers, with itself at the top. A closer look can reveal an entire forum consisting of only one being. A detailed analysis with the appropriate training, time and equipment reveals a most horrifying truth. There is no one else. Everything and everyone inevitably leads to bijanki. Even god. Even yourself. They are all merely forms and aspects, temporary and insignificant, nothing more. Only bijanki exists. Against this, no one can

The Sniper

A Flame Warrior that remains quite during battles, waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike. When he pounces, he demolishes his opponents in one and only one powerful post. This single attack is so devastating that the opposition is left in pieces. His motto: "One Post, One Victory"

Missionary.

It doesn't have to be a religous type of person, but one who is constantly out to try to change others views. This person will attack often too many threads for them to keep up on but will try to any way, in order to convince others of their point. No matter the topic, they find their way into it with a pre-established opinion that must be fought for and won. They carry a little bit of Stone Deaf's attributes but resemble a fast typer as well.

The Critic

"The Critic" This warrior often concentrates on one genre, but may branch out to encompass more. They then proceed to deem certain ideas and items as "worthy", while the rest are disdained. The convictions are not as important as the end result to this warrior: conversion by all to his or her personal preferences. Though affecting an air of "impartiality", this warrior often maintains a healthy disdain for anyone who doesn't agree after a few words. Critics often shelve attacks after a heated discussion, sometimes melting away to prepare for another strike. "The Fanboy" Fanboys can be any age, and are frequently male. Fanboys have an unshakable belief in their chosen console/browser/TV show; often they see themselves as on the right side, as opposed to "the evil ones". Unlike Critics, Fanboys only see their side and one opposition; a third choice is often greeted with shock and/or disdain. Fanboys are often mistaken for

The Nomad

'The Nomad' (but I won't get it Wink

' This dangerous warrior has the apparent invisibility of the lurker while maintaining an erratic but generally benign presence. Its purpose is merely to provide cover for his rare but vicious attacks -while generally concealing his views and attacking on technicalities he withdraws into the shadows before a counter can be effected the Nomad. He picks his targets with care, generally going up against Garbles or Loopies, he is also perfectly capable against doctrinaire warriors, no matter their creed. His vulnerability to a quick strike by a Kung Fu master is his real weakness and his only possible defence is to drop a grenade and retreat to the darkness where he will happily stay - licking his wounds for months on end before hazarding another strike… NOTE: You will generally find the Nomad visiting other forums while away from one, always looking for new pastures…it is the way of the Nomad…
_________________
The important thing is knowing who owns the fence

(comment by Fence Sitter - yep I just threw in some Return breaks in this entry.)

"Hyena" (a kind of Lurker, but chips in every now and then with an offbeat 'LOL!'),

"Poltroon" (a 'warrior' who creates the war of words yet refuses to engage in the verbal fighting himself, backing away before anyone dares to justify his opinions), and

"Macaw" (a warrior who has nothing original to say, but will repeat what respected members of the forum have said, in order to try to gain credibility for themselves). Also, on the forums I use, there is a member named

"Reverend Irrelevant" who claims to be a Reverend in New York and posts utter irrelevant banalities in an otherwise interesting topic. For example, if we were talking about Russian society under De-Stalinisation, Reverend Irrelevant would chip in by posting the ingredients to carrot cake! I suppose it's quite fu

The Detective

How about The Detective, who searches the net for dirt on his opponents?

suggest Some Form of Evil Clown or Yuk Yuk

Is there one for someone who posts what he thinks are short, inoffensive comments and doesn't understand why people get offended by what he says? He'll then make an innocent comment about how he gets some flack from 'people with no sense of humour' and promptly be hammered by the few hundred other people who he offended but didn't want to get involved. I met one of these recently. Amongst other things he thought that putting (c) before rap in a music board was a high form of wit.

Yales.

This guy is infuriating to debate. He is actually quite learned but doesn't possess any serious education. He speaks eloquently and will fall onto superior sentence structure if his arguments are lacking support from others. Using subtle ad hominem attacks to anger his opponent into hurling insults. I've watched it many times. He then claims a moral victory. If the targeted victim does not bite then he goes to plan B. This involves nitpicking minor, unimportant or even completely irrelevant points briefly hit upon in the debate and mercillessly pursuing it until his adversary either goes nuts, get's irate or gives up. Usually a combination. His endurance is remarkable and he would make a great politician. Frequently relying on emotional rather than logical statements. If all else fails he is not opposed to using deceit. He has been seen to disapear from a forum only to return under a new name. He will never admit being wrong about anything and even stoops to digging up dirt on exceptionally difficult opponents. If he can't

Yales cont. Often to be found at Space.com boards and 'everythingspace' at ezboards aswell as Yahoo. If he can't find any then he either makes it up or starts a list. This is an exhaustively cut and pasted page of all the mistakes and attacks made by the 'enemy' without any reference at all to what he was replying to. This selectively edited page is then thrown up as a link every time he feels he is losing an argument to discredit his opponent. Against one person in particular I saw him post such a page perhaps 100 times. It was during a debate as to whether nuclear power should be used in space. He is by far the most obsessive and self consumed flamer I have yet to come across. He considers long debates to be 'wars'. His word.

Veteran

The first is "Veteran". For Veteran the most significant thing in his life is his military service and he can hardly go 5 minutes without telling you about it. He hates "Weenie" and "Ideologue"(of the left wing variety) and their ilk and when cornered will lash out by disparaging his opponent's manhood or patriotism. Common attacks are: 'You wouldn't last a day in the Marines!' and 'I'm glad I never had to share a foxhole with you.' Veteran usually has a sig line like 'Lock and Load'. All warriors with military experience are immune to Veteran's attack.

The puppeteer

The next is "Puppeteer". Puppeteer is a form of Impostor who frequently logs in under different names to pat himself on the back and to create a false Swarm against his enemies. Invariably the other warriors recognize him via his vocabulary and sentence structure and once he is exposed he withdraws from the battlefield. Archivist is one of his worst enemies.

Invaders:

These particularly unimaginative trollers see the whole of the net not as a communication medium, but a game of conquest. Traveling in groups, often with an amusing and meaningless name for their clan, they set their sights on an unmoderated forum and, with no regard for the purpose or subject matter of the target, post "This place belongs to us now." Having stated their goal so plainly, they are immediately ignored by practically everyone, and the invasion usually fails. But if an inexperienced warrior responds to an Invader, more will come, and they will be harder to drive away. Invaders set up camp in abandoned fora, and on the off chance their intent is not immediately clear, they can always be recognized by the crossposts to every place they inhabit.

Self-Referee:

Likes to comment that his opponent is losing or has already lost, even if this assertion is questionable or patently false. Sometimes his entire argument can consist of this empty ridicule, calling the opposing argument "pathetic" and "lame" and "that's the best you can do?" without addressing its substance in any way. When backed against a wall, he will declare the conversation over and himself the winner. Evil Clown especially likes being a Self-Referee, cutting off his opponent with a sarcastic "Thanks for playing, buh-bye."

another Sock Puppeteer warrior?

My suggestion: how about the guy that logs in with 3 different user names, so he has 2 allies who will always support him?

Veteran

Veteran :P Because there is always a veteran who remembers what it was like before everyone showed up on the scene and will always remember the good old days

Googler

How about Googler? A sub-species of archivist, runs to the searches and looks for old information and arguments by other warriors. Experienced warriors outwit them by simply setting the archive on "off".

The Resigner

That's the guy who starts out as a relatively peaceful warrior, but for some reason has one disagreement with the entire forum and tearfully says "goodbye forever!" with a lengthy diatribe as to why he's leaving. Then, one of two things happens... he's either back in two days after his goodbye message is far down the list, or he becomes a lurker. Great site! The Garnisher

Reply-to-all

"Reply-to-all" In email battles, particularly here at work, we get people who try to remove themselves from a mailing list by replying-to-all or, another fav, trying to stop a spamalicious battle with more "reply-to-all" spam of their own... Example: Mass email goes out with Clinton/Bush/ whoever joke. Somebody replies-to-all telling the sender the Clinton/Bush/whover is a good guy and to shut up. Somebody else replies-to-all telling HIM to shut up. Somebody else replies-to-all telling EVERYBODY to shut up. Then somebody replies-to-all saying that nobody can tell ME to shut up and who made you boss. Then somebody replies-to-all that they want to removed from the list. "Me too!" chimes another reply-to-all poster. "Shut up!" replies another. And on it goes until some people get their access yanked.

BulletProof

The BULLETPROOF warrior. Your taunts and barbs mean nothing to you, and he loves to tell you so. In fact, he'll write screeds of text across multiple messages and come back on subsequent days to remind again that you're not in his league and just not worth his time.

suggest Just the Text Mam

I'm getting to be an activist for anti-Flash and anti-popup (I guess I surf a bit, eh?). Who (Flame warrior) am I? I'm seeking to have Flash content banned from my browser (have done so in the past) and prefer nothing more than text and maybe (just maybe) an animated gif (but not two). Yes, I've emailed webmasters, and have been known to get quite heated over flash-only websites. "I want info from the internet, not entertainment; the TV is in the other room, and for a reason" - that kinda sums up who I am. Popups? I agree with charging X10 $100 for each advertisement which pops onto my screen.... Seriously, I didn't see my self in the few warriors I reviewed; the remaining names didn't hint that they matched me. Maybe an update is needed?

Illustrator

- argues not with words but artfully or humorously photoshopped jpegs androgynous - posts from the male and female perspective; every so often the newer folk have a debate as to the true sex of this warrior smilie-freak - inundates you with smilies :) clueless - butts in to every debate with commentary that is erroneous, unwanted, and off-topic legend - old-timer only known to the other remaining old-timers; stops by once a year to say 'howdy' and 'what's new?'

suggest another 1337 type warrior

How about adding a new flamer type, the Counterstrike player or wannabe hacker who ALWAYS feels the need to use l33t 5p34k or whatever the hell it is. These guys seem to be popping up everywhere, especially sites devoted to multi-player games and such.

One-Post :

Someone who registers at a forum only to post one message containing some personal revelation about something, or some major flame to another poster and/or site in general, only to disappear forever.

Carbon copy

- (closely related to Me Too) Someone who writes a response to a post without bothering to read the other responses, thereby having the tendency of making the exact same point or argument that someone else already pointed out.

Significant Other

How about "Significant Other"? This person is not a regular of forum -- in fact, they may never have been seen before -- but they suddenly show up in mid-argument roaring like a lion when their Other Half has been insulted. They're usually gone again within a few posts, but they definitely exist! :)

Specialist

There should be a Specialist, or Niche Flamer: somebody who is mostly indifferent or benevolent, but gets irate only on particular, usually narrow subjects. If somebody encroaches on their subject - i.e. insults a band they worship, or rag on a certain anime series - they fly into a rage and flame the person into oblivion, usually never again conceding ground to the person or persons who made the first "offense." Outside of that field they're harmless, but within their particular specialty they're unmatched. Kin to Nitpick, Archivist and Jekyll & Hyde. Often incited by Troll or Evil Clown.

Lawyer

Lawyer reads the FAQ's, the forum charter, the T's and C's, and all supporting documents--and then uses these documents, and the whole body of Internet (and off-line) common and statutory law--against everyone else. Count on him to file injunctions against Big Dog, the Cyber Sisters, and especially against Rat and Whisper (for which some might be grateful), to _sue_ Rat or Whisper or Godzilla or Kung-Fu Master or any other Warrior who attacks him directly, to call a grand jury to indict Perv, L'Enfant Provocateur, Compost, Strumpet, the Howlers, and anyone else guilty of crudities, to turn Xenophobe in to the FBI on a specious charge of targeting another Alfred P. Murrah Building, to come to the defense of Innocence Abused or Fragile Femme or Crybaby (mainly to forge an alliance, not out of the goodness of his heart)--and even to try to have Nanny or Therapist investigated for practicing psychotherapy without a license, to try to have other Lawyers "disbarred," or even to bring Ar

Abbreviator

Perhaps the abbreviator would be good choice, the one who always uses OMG!! LMAO, ROTFLMAO, BRB, C-YA, etc. Jeez, these are funny!

suggest Killfile (II)

You need to add the guy who MUST let everyone know he's added someone to his killfile. I'm suprised it's not there... unless I missed it.

Teeny Boppers

I've run into a lot of "teeny boppers", you know the girls (or grrrlz, whatever) who start every post with "OMG!!!", get very upset every time you dare to say that N'Sync is a bit lame, etc

Rude

This poster likes to let off steam on the bulletin boards by posting stuff such as "Your idea s**ks." "U R an Idiot" He means no harm, but he is extremely offensive. threadjacker This poster changes the subject within a thread and heads off on a tangent discussing such things like "America whooped up on Great Britain in so and so war" in a thread about how cool some british pop star is. incoherent This poster either has little time, or tries too hard to be 'hip' and results to using strange meaningless abbreviations... example: I wuz goin 2 pst the msg but you know, like it was if I had to go met Santa Clauz or sumting b/case I had o/tr tings ta do. New Yorker on Apolyton, Incoherent Iguana on CGN jack of all trades This poster fakes knowledge in many subjects, however he does know something that he argues; he just doesn't know enough to argu

the KoRn KiDdIe.

Usually found on modern music discussion boards. Always types in a lowercase-uppercase pattern..always making the first letter in the sentence lowercase. Arguing style very similar to ALL CAPS.

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