Flame Warriors ~ View topic - Book Pt 6 -raw

Holy Roller

I'd like to see you add "Holy Roller" who tries to turn every discussion into a missionary opportunity to save souls for Jesus.

The emoticon guy

the: -emoticon guy. You know who he is ;-) -

The Spell Checker

the Spell checker, continually correcting everyone's posts.

Schitzo

I second the call for a Schizo. The multi personality self supporter. You can spot them from the same spelling and grammar errors used in each profile.(oops, Grammarian slipping in there)

We also need Psuedo Pretensious. To give XXXXXXX a profile of his own. :-)

Frame and Picture people by XXXXXXX

. I always was a bit of a misfit though. Life is a picture a 3-D poster and I'm part of the frame trying to look through the illusion. Frame people do well on the net because we can see through the illusion. The Picture people do well in real life but they are blinded by the illusion. We need more frame people on the forums. This site sees an elemant of those that make up the picture. By looking at this site and the insights here you are on the frame. Frame people have a better perspective of those living in the picture. Yep this site is a frame perspective. Though I do find the picture people interesting, those living in the illusion are so intolerant of those living on the frame of life. Oh well :)

Over-Assumer

We have a guy who is a little like Loopy in that at first you can't understand a thing he says. The difference is, he posts these short posts, assuming you know what concept he's driving at or that everyone saw the same newscast he did, like, "Rambo or the peanut guy, which is it?" or "journal re: Knows Me, huh?" The thing is, once what he means is run to ground, it IS usually a coherent and interesting point! But it takes Sherlock Holmes and three bloodhounds to get there so we can start to discuss it. I, being largely an Eagle Scout, tend to give him the benefit of the doubt, that he doesn't know he's doing it and call him an Over-Assumer, while someone who thinks he does it on purpose might think he fell into one of your attention-glutton type categories. Fun site.

Solicitor

Seriously add the Solicitor, so easy to think up a description and ever so prevalent.

The Rambler:

The Rambler is the Flame Warrior that is atleast fairly intellegent that always start off the battles well. Although the first few attacks are well placed usually after a bit of writing the rambler wonders off to something else and by the end of their post is completely OffTopic and lost their whole point intirely. You can easily spot them because they are the posters that always recieve the responces, "And your point was?" or "And how does that have to do anything. Caution: Certain other Warriors may try to make someone look like a rambler

Damn Ramblers. Don't know when to shut up, always got to waste four or five posts worth of writing on absolutely on things completely Off Topic

The Moderator's Lapdog:

A warrior who's bark is larger than their bite. One who has tried to gain a spot as royality by kiss the ass of the SysOp for several months or maybe a few years and has finally gained some sort of extra status for their brown-nosing, like being an assistant moderator. Although they are respect by a few such as the weenie and The Nanny, most veteran warriors can peg these wannabie royalists as the Sychophants they really are. Caution: With Moderator backing, these LapDog's can be incredibly difficult to fight despite their weak bite.

The Anti-American:

Most commonly a foreigner, more than likely a Canadian. No matter what the forum discussion is suppose to be about, they always find ways to poke fun at America and point out its flaws. They are easily dealt with by those who know the trick to beating them, just realizing they're jealous, not caring cause your not American or if they're Canadian simply saying, "We don't need to put a large anntenna on the Sears Tower to make it the taller than Canada's over sized television reciever, we have dish tv."

(comment by Fence Sitter - Some entries next - I just put return here and there)

the musician - uses old popular songs to achieve an effect that his own words wouldn't get
the foreignor - he speaks french and not your language
the vietnam war vet - he gets respect for his service to his country
the general or the script - pre planned the battle before it happens, knows every decisive move to be made
last laugh - the guy who makes a joke or point but nobody gets it until the thread is closed then later is like whoa! epiphany of death~
don johnson - gets the chicks
prococious child - hmmmm dunno how to spell it but u know what i mean the
ninja - stealthy and deadly warrior but darker and less guided than the kung fu mastah the small wooden doll -????

Dictator

On 2 boards used to post at, there was this warrior I could only label as "Dictator" It's only fitting since you have a Rebel Leader here. The Dictator is usually the Admin of a newsgroup, messageboard or chat room who bans and deletes anybody who doesn't agree with his veiws exactly or who becomes a bigger influence than the Admin. The dictator will go so far as to use his powers to smear the reputation of the user and use his technichal abilities to contatct ISP's and lie to the ISP's about the users postings on the messageboard. The Dictator is nothing like the Net Nanny, who is nicer, and impartial. Dictators are usually liberal, but some are conservative. The most annoying warriors are usually on the side of dictator, which include Me Too's in search of leaders, Bliss Ninnies who think that the sysop is only doing good to bring order to the board, and Innocence Abused, Issues and Weenie whos liberal ideals are usually shared by the sysop. The Rats always inform the Dictator what is going on in the rebellion and is the best freind of the Dictator. The Rebel Leader in situations like this lead a mass exodus to another board where the Dictator's actions are exposed.

Webmaster

I think you should add like a "Webmaster" warrior. My idea of it would be someone who has made their own site and now views themself as a superior to other warriors when his site gets lots of hits at the start, always talking about it and saying how good it is. When the site loses interest and there aren't as many hits, he never mentions his site anywhere. It's a thought.

suggestion is a Sock Puppeteer

Is there an entry for the Flamer with multiple aliasses used to support their every arguement?

Infant

There is also one who resurrects dead threads with inane comments..might be an infant, tho ;) Thanks for the great laughs!

Forum Camper

I have one warrior suggestion the forum camper the guy who sits there refreshing over and over waiting for any response to any subject so he can reply with the most inane or amusing response possible. forum campers have created the party post several times on sites i frequent

Rebel Without a Clue

. As a SysOp (automatically a Royal I know) on a chat site, I'm frequently attacked by Rebel Without a Clue who often uses false analogies (usually to Nazism when they mean fascism). They often rebel just for the sake of rebelling, insisting that they don't want to read things like Terms of Service or rules, and just want to chat. Often they will site the Bible, or the US Constitution as the basis for their argument.

The Happy Puppy

"The Happy Puppy" is a personality that I have seen a lot of in different forums. They are definitely not warriors. He or she usually immediately becomes a naive civilian casuality of war once they happily, with fresh flowers in their basket, and with an embracing attitude enters the war zone. The real interesting ones act as Peter Sellers did in the opening sceen of "The Party" in which he refused to die despite hundreds of rounds through his body. He just continued to play his trumpet in a more and more false key.

Dot Commie

Here's a couple for you: DOT.COMMUNIST dot.commie dot.communism Compliance is fertile. Glad I could help your anti-communist campaign.

(comment by Fence Sitter - yes they were trying to be funny, but a Dot commie is someone on the net would like stuff to be free, etc)

The Waffler

How about The Waffler? The Waffler is the wishy-washy type that just can't seem to make up her mind. She always is paralyzed by attempting to see both sides of the debate, agonizingly long soul-searching and "thinking-out-loud" sessions, and general indecisiveness.

suggest Dinosaur

Add a similar entity to the Godzilla one. This one is very powerful and able to destroy a forum when he so chooses. He's also an old timer in the forum, known for years with a bad temper and the experience to go with it. I suppose a cross of Kung Fu Master with Godzilla, but with slightly less discipline than the KFM and slightly less power than the Godzilla.

The Rebel Leader.

The rebel leader is usually fairly new (though not always), but is very good words. The rebel leader, angry at something, can create a large group of followers to either turn on one person, or on the forum leaders, telling all that if they just 'cooperate with me and do as I say, we can change this place for the better'. Anyway, keep up the good work! :)

Porn Spammer

I'd say the "Porn Spammer" deserves to show up. You know, the guy who will randomly ambush a forum, especially those with enabled html, and put up nasty pictures or write a dirty limerick. He'll do it about once a month, probably slowly working as large a circuit as he can manage. "Religious Spammer" also does this with some sort of gospel message. Unlike the other religious figures they just place one post, once a month. Sorry if this is a really old thing that you don't pay attention to any more, I just came across it and felt like I'd throw this comment in.

The Saint

When Issues gets religion, she magically transforms into The Saint. Well, let's face it: Even as Issues she thought she was conceived without sin so it isn't a long walk to the phone booth to change clothes. As The Saint, she focuses on all the same issues but with one important difference: Now her pronouncements come from the very lips of the Almighty. She can quote scripture to show how God demands the cleanup of toxic waste dumps and mosh pits. When backed into a corner, she plays her trump card: I'll pray for you. Make no mistake. She isn't praying for your salvation.

The Reader

The Reader has a surprisingly common but incurable disability: She cannot delete email. She is compelled to read every single piece of email that comes @ her, no matter how busy she is or how much she knows the email will annoy her. She spends hours on spamcop.com reporting emails with [Adv] in the subject line. She has little time left to actually contribute to debate but will leave her children in daycare for three extra hours to fight about an email headed: [Off] Bad Weather. Her email inbox has 1,000 unread posts, owing to the delays of tracking down offenders. Interestingly, she unwittingly forges alliances between Trogs, Weenies and Issues by insisting that no demilitarized zone ever exist outside the stated topic of the email list. The best Warriors fight her with humor which, of course, is utterly lost on her but entertains everyone else.

Morphus

Since there are some of us that can change from one Warrior type to another easily, I think you should create a new type of flame warrior called Morphus. Usually experienced, sometimes not, Morphous can change from one type of troll warrior to another at will. The more experienced ones can morph easily into just about any Flame Warrior they please. Less experienced may morph into Lamer, Evil Clown, and many of the less experienced, nastier, and inexperienced Warriors. I have seen few of the more experienced Morphers and many of the less experienced types. The experienced ones are a very dangerous warrior, almost as good as Kung Foo Master, but not quite as good. The less experienced are usually revieled to be idiots, but can also be very dangerous.

Prophet.

This is the well read warrior who always warns the other warriors of future events. They usually don't pay any attention to him, and sometimes attack him viciously, but he quietly, yet firmly, stands his ground until the anger blows over. In time, he is always shown to be correct. Only very well versed warriors can be prophets, many imitate them, but there exist very few.

Evil Twin.

This Warrior has no unique characteristics on his own. However, upon encountering somebody he doesn't like, he will almost immediately become a virtual duplicate of that person (the "Good Twin"). Evil Twin will then begin claiming ultimate superiority to the Good Twin to provoke a flame or at least an excuse to reply with a flame. The Evil Twin will do his best to keep the flamewar going infinitely; this often causes an Evil Twin and the person he copied to degrade into Duelists. Experienced regulars readily identify the Good and Evil Twins, but Newbies and the like often have difficulty determining which is which. Evil Twin's only weakness arises when he copies a respected warrior; both friends and enemies of the good Twin in question will hate Evil Twin and eventually drive him out, unless Evil Twin successfully gathers a force of Newbies in defense.

"The Prophet of Doom."

Everytime an argument or flame war starts up, the Prophet starts bemoaning it as a sure sign of the impending end of the board. The Prophet is not a warrior, simply a whiner who pokes his head into battles occassionally to let the warriors know they're destoying a Utopia. This poster may also become nostalgic for the "good old days," but then will be reminded by The Archivist that the good old days weren't always that great either.

The Lobbyists

The Professionals, or The Lobbyists. These are public relations professionals trained in persuasion and obfuscation. Usually travel in packs in political or technical forums. Paid well to monitor sensitive public discussion groups and disrupt or deflect discussions which might be uncomfortable or embarrassing for their clients. Because they are professionals, they are adept at consciously shifting their Warrior tactics and personalities to suit their purposes. Related to "Artful Dodgers" and "Swarms." Love to bait and bury "Issues."

The Noble Savage.

A distant relative of the Ethnix, this Warrior is actually a cross between a Grammarian and an Android with a touch of Tireless Rebutter to make things more interesting. The Noble Savage actually speaks the Common Language as well as, or better than, everybody else on the forum, and probably doesn't differ from them in anything except the shape of the right ear. But since he's officially a Numbundian (whether living in Numbundia, having been born there, or having just read a few books on Numbundian life, acquiring an extra personality), he exploits it restlessly as his strongest personal quality. The Noble Savage, more often than not, has nothing to say on the subject the forum is discussing. However, from time to time he would remark that the Numbundian way of life completely agrees with, or is incompatible with, an opinion expressed by another warrior. After the Noble Savage sent his posting, he waits until it arrives back from the forum, reopens it, reads it and feels important. Postings from Noble Savages are written in an imitation of either Salman Rushdie's or Vikram Seth's style, and can additionally be recognized by their extensive usage of phrases like "wrought their wrath" and "cogno-intellectual all-pervasiveness". Noble Savages are mostly harmless, so nobody but the stoutest Xenophobe or Troglodyte will bother to attack them. If anyone does that mistake, the Ethnix will defend the Noble Savage so ardently that the latter will regret he ever mentioned his nationality. --- You will probably condense this lengthy description into something nice and neat (if, of course, you accept the suggestion...), but the extra info will surely help you in the drawing process... Cordially, Eli Bar-Yahalom (Haifa, Israel), unmistakably a Noble Savage (sometimes a Peacemaker, too).

Schizophrenic Psycho

Well, my sub personae say, you forgot me, the real schizophrenic psycho :-)

Technocrat

Convinced that the superiority of his hardware (whether or not he knows anything about it or how to use it - which differentiates him from Propeller Head) somehow grants him superior intellectual and reasoning abilities. He is easily bested by experienced Warriors as his arguments lack any real substance.

The Foreigner.

This person, while always ready to incite an argument, upon confrontation, immediately loses grasp of the language often making nonsensical statements that cannot be countered. He is usually shielded by the likes of Nanny and Eagle Scout, because of his arbitrary lack of comprehension of the forum's prevailing language. Once the confrontation disperses, The Foreigner's understanding reappears and he is able to resume cheerful discourse.

Nutz

Maybe you could add in a character called "Nutz" or something. That's the person who will not start a problem, but will often jump in and try to diffuse the situation (and often successfully) with inane humor. Whaddya say?

FAIR-WEATHER FRIENDS:

Fair-Weather Friends will be friendly for as long as you are useful to them. However, when you fall on hard times, they will suddenly have pressing business "elsewhere" or simply pretend not to know you. It will likly emerge that they've been gossiping freely behind your back in an attempt to gain eminence among fellow posters. They are to be avoided at all costs.

suggest Fickle

How about one for someone who changes their opinions with the wind (or with influence of other people?) I don't think I saw that covered... could possibly be a backstabber... probably 2 faced... but just changes opinion to be like the crowd (at the time)... very sheep-like

Surgeon

: "Surgeon" *shudder* This warrior when he first enters a topic of discussion seems to be an amiable fellow who appears to argue with a veteran warrior without taking the other's opinions out of context. When battle commences the "Surgeon" becomes utterly fearless and tireless (tireless rebutter?) This warrior shows his true colours by REPEATEDLY cut&pasting selected snippets from his current target and DISSECTING his opponent with slightly more off topic arguements until he has completely gutted the opposition who retreat from this mad butcher. CAUTION: Attempting to "philosophize" &/or "Swarm" with this (nitpicking?) "Surgeon" will simply provide fresh blood to spill...Like lambs to the slaughter *shudder*.........Hope you can use this to flesh out your descriptions of the Arch Enemy of "Archivist"!

Warhawk:

Crossposts inflammatory or nonsensical articles to several groups in order to goad the separate groups into fighting each other. Say, a crosspost to a Beatles group and an Elvis Presley group stating categorically that one produced immensely better records than the other. A member of one group protests, a member of the other group counterattacks, and the back-and-forthing escalates until multiple groups are buried in flames. Warhawk himself may never show up again, or he may occasionally return to fan the flames and add even more groups to the ever-expanding newsgroups line; well-meaning individuals calling out "Stop posting to rec.arts.movies.foobar!" and dutifully removing their favorite group from the newsgroups line may not even realize they're only making matters worse.

Faker

"Faker". Much like "Ego", he likes the a great deal of attention. If criticisms of his actions run too high for his thin skin (or not enough people are noticing him), he will threaten to flee! Usually failing to gain any sympathy, he will seem to disappear, when he really is lurking to see if anyone is posting about him. He will then reappear a short time later, expecting much rejoicing in his return. While Faker thinks he is genuine every time, he tends to be predictable to all but the new and slow-witted.

'The Silencer

Here's one, *The Silencer* A rarely posting flame warrior who steps into particulary heated flame wars and posts a gently manipulative message that sums up the opinions of both sides and delicatly, often humourously, picks them into little tiny pieces, often chiding the participants about their lack of maturity. "We are all adults here, remember?" As most warriors dread public embarrasment over anything else, the thread usually ends within a few hours of her posting. Which was of course her intent all along. Because of the silencer's lack of directly inflamatory comments, and her excellent command of the launguage, she is not often a target of counter attacks. The silencer often comes from an acidemic background and enjoys watching people falter in a loss for words more than you will ever get her to admit to.

Suiside Solution

Suicide solution - posters who openly make suicide threats (or announce they have atempted suicide)to force the newsgroup to rally around them in sympathy. Usually but not always the threats appear after they realize they're losing whatever argument they've gotten themselves into. A lesser extreme version is the person who harps constantly about how "depressed" and unworthy of friendship they are. Obviously these are veiled attempts at receiving endless virtual-backpatting and not an attempt to actually get help.

EmotiConnie

"EmotiConnie" She spices her every sentence with an "emoticon" in order to convey her feelings. :-) Nevermind the fact that nobody can actually see her :-/ EmotiConnie must make certain that you are never in doubt as what feeling she is attempting to express :-0. When EmotiConnie is in a really :-) really :-) cheerful mood, she may interject :-) a series :-) of smilies :-) within one single sentence! :-) Over time this tactic can become annoyingly effective >:-[

"Mr. Excitement"

Mr. Excitement is similar to EmotiConnie except that Mr. E accentuates every sentence with an exclamation point! I actually once knew a person who literally placed an exclamation point after every single sentence! Really, he did! I am not making this up! He really did this! He explained that he was so very confident about his opinions and was so sure that everyone else would be excited to hear his wonderful points of view! Like EmotiConnie, Mr. E means well and is nice enough, but suffers from being ignorant of knowing how annoying he really is!

The Veteran

The Veteran has been using the internet since the dawn of mankind and wants to make sure that everyone knows it. He has been using the Internet since before computers were even invented. Regardless of the issue, The Veteran believes he has won the debate simply by virtue of having been online the longest.

suggest Food Lover

I have not come up with a name for this one, but this is the person who is constantly talking about food. No topic is immune to his/her sly manuevering of edging into the conversation an innocent little suggestion that some pizza, ice cream or chocolate would be especially good right about now. Over time, this person's regular, habitual references to food will get the better of everyone else. Eventually even just the sight of this person's name will cause the others on the forum to begin to salivate......hmmmmm...call him "Pavlov" maybe?

Schoolyard Bully

"Schoolyard Bully" is a MIA warrior! We all know him --- when miffed he threatens other warriors (other male warriors) with physical violence from behind the safety of his computer. In reality, he's either suffered sound beatings by "realtime" schoolyard bullies in his past and is seeking retribution or was a schoolyard bully wannabe now seizing the opportunity to kick ass in cyberspace. He often goes so far as to post an open challenge to meet and fight his opponent at a designated time/locale sometimes even going so far as to offer to fly cross country for this real-time battle.

AOLer

What about AOLer!? Everybody can tell an AOLer on a list from a mile away.. they far exceed either a Lamer or a Newbie.. =) devoted aoler, Aaron

Corrupt Cop

I think that you should add something like a Corrupt Cop. Basically they are moderators of forums who abuse their power. They are known to open threads after they have been closed to get the last word in. Corrupt Cops are also known to edit posts without good reason simply because they do not like the comment made towards them in it.

ANDROGYNE:

The Common Androgynes (itself rare) display characteristics belonging to both men and women, making it impossible to ascertain precisely what gender the other Warrior might be. The Common Androgyne could be either passive or active in a debate, using both its silence and its arguments to devastating affect at various times. The Common Androgyne is usually intellectual, however, and generally prefers passivity. The Lesser Spotted Androgyne (long believed by our team of skilled researchers to be extinct) represents the marriage of heaven and hell, displaying at some time or other all the characteristics of Flame Warrior known to e-manity, either dispersed over several messages in a short topic thread or skillfully woven into one sentence. The Lesser Spotted Androgyne is impossible to fathom, and making the attempt is not recommended.

Johnny B. Average

. A "Johnny B. Average" or "Mr Moderation". He doesn't have a strong opinion on anything at all, all his views fall right in line with the average for society. He is politically centrist (and prides himself as such to avoid the negative labels and accusations both lefties and righties throw at each other), mention abortion, he will tell you he is pro-choice but objects to abortion being used as a form of birth control etc. You have heard everyone of his thoughts before, from others. He also looks down on anyone with any opinion stronger than his on any subject, as some sort of kook or nutjob, and he will tell them to get a life, but he is the most boring person on usenet you know of. Make a profile out of this person if you wish, though maybe I wasn't paying attention, and he's already there.

The 133t hax0r

The 133t hax0r. Hated by grammarians and propelorheads. They think their ways of writing make them cool and they know lots about computers. They're wrong. Ally of l'enfant provocateur. The Republican. Arch enemy of the royals. Whenever the royals accuse anyone of anything they cry out that it's elitism and make a fuss. The free speecher. Someone who demands that they have a right to say what they want how they want but don't realise that means everyone else has the right to tell them to sod off. Often show appaling spelling and grammar and provoke gramarians. Occasionally engaged by philosophers most warriors ignore them before long.

sounds like Net Rat

I think a worthy character would be that idiot who likes to show up at an MB or NG frequented by teenagers and then complain about the "maturity level" of said group. They attack spelling errors, lack of capitalization, and criticize opinions as childish. If they should be criticized themselves, they'll often retort with "How old are you?" These people usually turn out to be teenagers themselves, but love to pretend to be older. (A truly mature and intelligent adult would know better than to expect teenagers to act like anything but.) I myself have to confess to be a rambler. (As you may have noticed.) I have a lot to say about everything, interesting or not. I often engage in long anecdotes I think are relevant to the topic at hand, but in the end, who knows? Once again, great site. Terrific artwork, and you really hit the nail on th

Calculator

I don't think I saw one that quite fit the fellow I'm thinking of. Rare in the big picture, I suspect he is a common and dominant presence in any forum involving an engineering or technical aspect. He could be called Expert, Engineer or Tech Wizard, I suppose. I prefer to call him Calculator, since his favorite weapon is a tightly-focused stream of detailed mathematical equations. We aren't sure, but we think he takes particular delight in vaporizing newbies, who are particularly vulnerable. With lightning reflexes, he leaps on a simple, innocent question with a lengthy treatise that leaves the newbie completely overpowered -- partly because it is clearly written on the assumption that *anyone* should be able to follow it. Frequently, the victim is never seen again. For long-time forum participants, Calculator's attacks are rarely effective, since nobody bothers to read them. Occasionally Calculator borrows from Nitpick, nailing some hapless victim like a sniper. In this mode, Calculator typically quotes some tiny portion of his victim's text, then dismisses it with a single word. "Nonsense." "Hogwash." "Poppycock." It invariably turns out that the victim's mistake is the mathematical equivalent of failing to dot an "i" - an error nobody else noticed, or cares about. Calculator is, so far as we can tell, utterly without humour and in this regard is a bit like Anderoid. Very, very rarely, two Calculators cross. In the ensuing battle, numbers, engineering source quotations and equations fall like spent ammo belts as they grapple in a death struggle. Everyone else slinks away to have a nice chat in the meantime. Cheers, -smw

suggest Killfile

I spotted one that must be pretty rare. It seems to resemble something like a turtle. In the newsgroup I frequent, this one posts messages, then when anyone shows him his mistakes, he killfiles them and hides behind his killfile, all the while whining about them talking about him behind his back. This particular species even goes so far as to post his killfile list to the newsgroup.

Dear Diary

- Person who posts about his or her personal life, even though nobody cares. "Today I saw Dave at the store. He told me that I might be getting a raise at work." Dear Diary is an annoyance to most. Substance Abuse- Person who only posts messages when high or drunk. Sometimes Substance Abuse uses being high or drunk as an excuse for their stupidity. Somtimes Substance Abuse isn't even high or drunk, and just pretends to be. I Have a Life- This flamer usually insults another flamer by telling them to get a life. I Have a Life usually claims that he or she is posting from work, and that everyone else needs to "find something better to do with their time." Interestingly enough, I Have a Life has more posts than most of the other flamers.

Grammer Teacher

i havent been through the whole list- do you have one like "grammar teacher"? my but they lose the whole train of insult when they attack the capitalization etc. its just another way to feel superior. & i'm not capitalizin for em. nope, i wont be swayed! regards!

Self-proclaimed genius:

This kid, almost always a male, is a perfect student, and probably has documentation to prove his genius. Unfortunately he thinks an 34 on the ACT is some sort of substitute for real-world experience, and believes himself to be Kung-Fu Master of everything and the kitchen sink, until real facts are hurled in his direction.

Rhetorical chamberpot:

Usually a normal forum member, but turns any undesired issue into a rhetorical pissing contest. Expects participants to follow rules of high-school debate, notably in that everything has to be painfully specified more than any human conversation ever should. These people are often self-proclaimed geniuses and believe that others' "logical fallacies" are proof of their superiority.

Master Troller

what about the Master Troller? He is a mixture of Philosopher and Big Dog, but who has fallen to the Dark Side, and lives to provoke the most bizarre, erudite flamewars ever. He lives to stir up shit on the very highest level. He will take any position in order to provoke a flamewar, preferably an absolutely ridiculous one, yet masterfully defend it, which appeals to his bizarre sense of humor. He is a master of logic, rhetoric and demagoguery, and makes both use and misuse of them to full effect, deconstructing the logical fallacies and rhetorical devices in his opponents' attacks, yet carefully and thoughfully introducing subtle ones in his, to laugh out at others missing them. He absolutely loathes Enfant Terrible and Eagle Scout. He respects Philosopher because of his genuine knowledge, but trolling him is his biggest goal. Plain Trolls admire him, and are his biggest allies, since they get a kick of watching his extend the horizons in stirring shit up to where no Troller has gone

Condescending Intellectual

I think that a style worthy of mention is the "Condescending Intellectual". This one will psychoanalyse an opponent and try to illustrate that all the CI is doing is pointing out the target's own shortcomings as a human being. Lots of big words, dry sarcasm, and a generous helping of witty one liners and :):):)'s to really irritate an opponent to tears. Im sure that we all have run into a few of those:)

One-trick pony:

Somewhat Similar to a Filibuster, the One-trick Pony appears with what at first is a remarkably effective attack, but continues to reuse it to the point where it loses it's effectiveness, or just gets ignored completely.

Kloud Kuckoo

How about "Kloud Kuckoo", meaning someone who espouses a completely fantastical position with no evidence, declares it to be true, and then stoutly defends it, manufacturing additional "supportive" details as necessary.

H4x0R

What about "h4x0R", who types in a language that's not quite english anymore. Dfferent from Furious Typer, because the messages they write mix typos with phonetic abriviations and vague approximations of words like "k3\/\/L"

Post Master

How about "Post Master"...Those who will reply to discussion topics just to have their name seen. They usually never have anything of importance or relavancy to add. Kind of like getting junk mail in your mailbox.

New Tech

how about a "NewTech" type character.. Like "Newbie", but with limited technology (AOL/Web TV etc), combining the worst of ALLCAPS, Newbie, MeToo, Jerk and Tireless Rebutter...

Solicitor and suggest Dynamite

two more if your interested. the first I'm not sure is a warrior per se, but you could throw in Solicitor (who posts a completely off topic messagetrying to sell something, usually ignored or shouted at). There is also the explosive temper, the arch enemy of the newbie, who erupts in a violent tantrum at every retarded statemewnt or question. He usually has a screen long rant, you know the type.

The Honeymooners

Please add "The Honeymooners": dopes who clog up all discussions, even (especially) hot flame threads, with blowing kissy-face at each other. Their aim seems to be positive: to show love, solidarity, or to reassure each other, but they inflame envy, contempt and anger, depending on the situation, and often their behavior is just plain provacative to people who are already testy. It's hard to rebuke them for it, but it's certainly not innocent.

Insider

"Insider" -- In newsgroups or forums focusing on famous people, typically celebrities or distinguished public figures, the "Insider" claims some personal association with the individual or group. The Insider invariably is vague, coy, and cagy about the specifics of this association-- he (she) may be a relative, an old friend, a professional associate or employee. Rarely revealing anything definitive enough to actually identify himself (or be exposed as a fraud or impostor), the Insider trades on this alleged connection to acquire status and respect. Contrariwise, the Insider will judiciously debunk and deflate the comments or speculations of others by constantly reminding them, at least implicitly, that after all, they're not "in the know". I believe I'm

The Refractor:

The refractor is a weak warrior. He tries to spin everything in an argument to the point where people forget the real argument. This guy is the ally of such scum as the Artful Dodger. Note: The refractor could be defeated only if you don't let him spin. He's a horrible warrior without his spin tactics.

The Patriot.

The one who no matter the country will firmly crow about free speech and his right to post whatever off topic, flaming, obscene insults even to a moderated board because it's his god given right to express his opinion. This person often combines Troll with Jerk and feels justified in doing so. The Patriot often will jump to other rights they feel define them and flame anyone who doesn't agree with them. Thanks again for the great site!

The Flame Watcher:

Does not belong to one solitary list, but rather travels from place to place looking for a good flame war. Once found, the Watcher will either sit back and enjoy, or dive into the fray him/herself.

The Martyr:

Beware the Martyr, for though she may seem innocent, she is truly a horrid beast in disguise. An extremely windy Blowhard hiding under the facade of Eagle Scout, the Martyr wishes only to convert people to her point of view-often taking extreme measures to do so. Believes that everything she does is for the good of everyone else, right down to filing her toenails.

suggest Little Games

Picture this: a poster is completely apathetic to the actions of their fellow flame warriors, is bored out of their minds, and decides to target another flame warrior. They are relentless (much like a tireless rebutter), they are not offended by other people's flames (quite an accomplishment), and they mock their tartgetted flame warrior with taunts, such as "I'm just doing this to get a cheap laugh from your responses." The only way to stop them is to stop replying, and then they usually revert to a neutral poster. These posters don't even bother defending their position, or challenging other people's, they just reply to posts in a flaming manner to get replies to laugh at. Quite an odd bunch, if I do say so myself.

Magnum PI

May I suggest a brother of Archivist - the Magnum PI, who upon being offended launches into a comprehensive netsearch for all evidence of his opponent in an imaginative but usually inaccurate attempt to find out who he really is. Provides much 'evidence' for the therapist to draw conclusions from. Myth has it that a challenege between the greatest archivist and the greatest magnum will ultimately strangle every bit of bandwith as the entire internet is scoured for evidence.

Wordsmith

One which I didn't see is a Warrior (usually male) who usually plays with words to his own advantage, emerging with a pithy and relevant witticism for almost anything. This type often has precise grammar; suspected spelling mistakes are always painstakingly acknowledged. Sarcasm is used as a weapon of assault, skewering opposition. I've met a few Wordsmiths like these, but not enough by far. They are enjoyable company.

Dictator:

Dictator is usually the associate moderator of a room, board or newsgroup, but sometimes is the real admin. Dictator is usually very opinionated, and will pull the plug on any warrior that differentiates with the opinion of the mod/admin. Dictators are usually a lonley warrior because other warriors don't want to engage in discussion in his board due to the censorship. But sometimes, he has a close group of people who also agree with him and make it a personal hell for those who don't agree with him. He is usually the main rival of the Bad Boy (Explained later.)

Bad Boy:

Bad Boy is a back talking, anti-establishment, quick joke laying, strong insult throwing, cursing, hard punching warrior. Usually, Bad Boy is seen as the king of the board, he is very popular with some other warriors (Me Toos, Evil Clowns, Troglodytes, Jerks and Newbies), due to his bad boy image. but idealouges, decons and philosophers hate him because of his attitude and how he usually outclasses his rivals with his large amount of know

Driveby.

Driveby's tactic consists primarily of popping in, striking hard, and abandoning the discussion. Never goes into real periods of inactivity like Lurker, but rather has a low activity level on the whole. Never returns to the discussion in question, thereby becoming immune to any counterattacks. However, if hailed specifically in a subject line, Driveby will actively join the discussion in question and can easily be defeated. If the forum has its own chat room, Driveby will often pop in, say something strange, and leave. -Andy &&

True believer:

Utterly posessed by some theory of his own design, he views all who disagree as idiots or part of a massive conspiracy to uphold "the orthodoxy", whatever prevailing view his theory opposes. His will hold to his view regardless of rational arguments to the contrary. Also generally unable to produce better than long incoherent rants in defence of his position. Generally despised, he may have support from others with simular views.

Psycho

One Flame Warrior that I've only rarely encountered (thank goodness) is the Psycho. The ones I have encountered are male, and while they may use any of the tactics described in the other Warrior profiles, there is a truly *scary* edge to them--if you get them mad enough, it's easy to imagine them showing up in your bedroom on a full moon night with a meat cleaver. They don't necessarily have to make overt threats, either. Their obsessive hatred of the one individual they usually select as prey is sometimes so vicious that it intimidates other members of the group as well; nobody dares tell the Psycho to lighten up or leave. In a similar vein is the Sorcerer, inevitably young and male, who often proclaims that he is a Satanist or involved in black magic. The Sorcerer often boasts about how he has mastered the forces of darkness, and may even brag that he has cast spells that have

Navel-Gazer

Navel-Gazer: The Navel-Gazer is usually a Lurker. He is an odd mix of Ferrous Cranus, Archivist, Netiquette Nazi, Jerk and others of that kind, who will always come to his rescue. His interests tend to be concentrated on the most trivial aspects of a discussion (e.g. he may obsess about the ratio of a dice roll in a gaming forum), and any attempts to bring some meaning to a debate will be met be a flood of uninformed criticism. He is the sworn enemy of Philosopher and will tend to suck up to Eagle Scout for all he's worth. Eventually, he will ware down the discussion to nothing with his inanities.

The VIP

Here's another idea. "The VIP" A visitor or regular poster who has relevence in the outside world to the discussed topic (such as the lead game designer in a major forum of that game). Is usually highly respected and seen as a source of information. A VIP will occasionally be attacked by one of the more unsavoury characters, however, most will quickly rush to his defence for fear of losing the VIP.

Idealist:

A subspecies of Ideologue, the Idealist is generally still a child(Generally even under 14) who has an opinion on everything. In general, this opinion, however, are just his parents views made much stronger, and he, like the Ideologue, cannot believe that anyone might doubt him. His "arguments" in debates consist of Strawmen, Well Poisoning, his opinions, his opinions dressed up as facts, and insulting of the other side as "insensitive", "immoral", "evil", "murderers", etc., in a fashion resembling Innocence Abused. He generally has an even more extreme stance than even Ideologue, and often wants things almost impossible to do, such as human rights for all living creatures. WARNING: Some subspecies of Idealists have their own views, instead of their parents, and tend to be slighty stronger debaters.

Something I forgot about Idealists-They think that either people are the same as they are or wrong, and think the only way to show people the truth is to continually bombard them with opinions, particularly dressed up as fact. He will do this on even the most minor issue.

Romeo and Player-Hater

There are two types I see missing. Romeo, who has the ability and writing skills to attract and swoon females, and Player-Hater who's insane jealosy of Romeo makes it his mission to disrupt Romeo's rap in any way possible, using all forms of Evil Clown, ALLCAPS, etc.

Universal Soldier:

The Universal Soldier is a warrior that is very powerful, yet has no allies on the board and in fact, shuns any allies that may want to join up with him. He doesn't need them. He could handle himself on his own. He posesses Propeller Head qualities. He shows no emotion, doesn't crack a smile ever, and he torments his victim. He could be a Target and still come out on top in the end. Often, Net Nanny has to ban him out of mercy for the other warriors. But since Universal Soldier is also a Propeller Head, he could easily work around the ban or flood the board with pseudonyms. Just do not try to appear on a messageboard/newsgroup with this guy, unless you're a Big Dog with pleanty of Me Toos for backup.

suggest Loud Yapper

Howabout those folks who make lots of noise and crosspost all over the place, and never ever leave if anyone responds? They aren't quite like any other kind of warrior, unless they are a hybrid of warriors like the howler, and the annoying teenager. They are difficult to define, and are intensely frustrating because they only ever appear with all guns firing, even though you *know* there are some intelligent ones out there and they can be OK to speak to when not causing trouble.

Debater:

This is one of the rare few who enjoys tossing himself onto Grenades and basking in the explosion. He'll quite often throw one himself, and he almost always makes the explosion larger. A Debater can often be told by the fact that he will cite resources, tell the opponents what debating faults they are having, and quote their opponents often. They range dramatically in their opinions, and how easily they begin to truly flame, other than reasoned, well structured view points on issues. Some debaters will go ballistic as soon as someone disagrees with them, some as soon as someone attacks them, and a very few only after many, many, many days of constant insults

Nonsense:

Nonsense may have many, many revelant points to make, or

Dittohead

There's certain variety, call it Dittohead or such (especially since most of them are conservatives, odd that that is), whose main function of life seems to be posting "Right on!" or "ROTFL!" or "Can I marry you? :D :D :D" or "BRAVO! :D :D" after every comment that is bigger than five lines. Usually this is only contribution that this person lends at discussion. (Well, sometimes he posts net.documents like "How To Be Liberal" or "You Know You're Liberal If...", but since odds that that document has already been seen 31+ times are bigger than 99.99%, this contribution really isn't very large one.)

nocaps and !!!!! :-)

Okay, there's ALLCAPS, but what about nocaps? And people who over-use exclamation marks or smileys!!!!

The Catalyst:

The Catalyst comes in multiple forms, but all have the greatest effect on their given feild. Through well written and well reasoned arguements, they change prevailing opinion in their given forum. some wander the web, changing a single forum and moving on, while others settle down eventually, becoming the new King or Queen or the Royalty, and speaking much less often. most catalysts, after their effect, maintain a sort of newsletter to update their listeners on their thoughts. once a catalyst has changed an enviroment, all the original residents usually become ardent supporters of the catalyst, becoming zealots attacking any who question the new order

The Time Bandit

I would like to offer "The Time Bandit" They like to resurrect threads older than dirt!

Smartass

Hilarious! But I'm hurt, you haven't done a sketch of the Smartass. :)

The Swarm

The Swarm. .. half tactic, half mindset, it happens when someone makes a rational post that runs counter to the prevailing ideology of a less-than-rational forum. The poster is immediately mass-flamed by hundreds of irrellevant, near mindless attacks, but it's usually impossible to retaliate due to sheer volume. The effect is similar to being eaten alive by mosquitoes. It's not really an individual descriptor for an individual flame warrior, but more a collective mindset held by a group of warriors, like worker bees or robot drones.

The Young One.

He is generally 13 or under, and tends to attempt to discuss Pokemon or some other current fad. This seriously angers, well, almost every other type of warrior, and even Eagle Scout may respond bit negatively to this show of childishness. If Young One participates in political discussion, his ideas generally are only marginally compatible with real world, and again get attacked by everyone. When things get hot, he is usually aided by Weenie, who tries to remind everyone that age is not important. Yeah, right.

Micronationalist.

Micronationalist has micronation. He has had micronation so long that he has started to believe he wields real political power. Thus, he often tries to stage "invasion" to forum/list and claims ownership of it. This leads to immediate ostracization, naturally.

The Terrorist.

This warrior will expertly follow the hot topics and temperments of the other warriors. When the time is ripe, he will interject a bomb and disapear, watching froma safe distance. The argument or proof can be fully fabricated, thus there is no weight to the fuel that this arsonist uses. He is an ally of the Troller and can appear sometimes as an Issues, but the initial thrust is much more deadly and he has no concern with the actual topic. If a single warrior is the target, he is sometimes known as the assasin. If a warrior can survive the initial attack, there is usually blood in the water that will cause a feeding frenzy among the Clown, Big Dog, Jerk, etc...

suggest New World

But, how about describing a positive, constructive warrior who endeavors to post original (as opposed to follow up) usenet articles which contain USEFUL content and INFORMATION with supporting CITATIONS and links, thus initiating meaningful discussion threads. This warrior sees usenet as an egalitarian, worldwide forum for the international exchange of thoughtful ideas among intelligent, thinking individuals with the potential to rival Gutenberg's printing press in its ability to facilitate world progress. He has the expectation (hope really) that his fellow man will raise the level his of postings to the stature of professionally written exposition, and endeavors to provide constructive content in even his occasional flames that chastize
... chastize only the most disappointingly insipid comments of the occasional cretin member of the forum. This warrior hopes to entice other enlightened, intelligent souls to join the forum by raising its level of professionalism, so that they will not feel that their stature is diminished by casting their pearls before Philistines. (this is a continuation of the previous message)

suggest Personal Vendetta

Here's one I'm sure you've all run across. He has a long-standing personal vendetta against someone in the forum. He is completely obsessed and will viciously attack anything and everything this individual posts regardless of relevance. He is sort of like a cyber-stalker. His rage is an enigma to others because he never explains what brought about this bad blood in the first place (frequently something from ancient history).

The Doomsayer

"The Doomsayer"... Related to the Artful Dodger, this deadly opponent takes strength from specialization. Through pessimism, cynicism, and a steadfast grip on the futility of everything, this flamer will use his skills to rain on any parade. If you argue that kittens are cute, he will point out the fleas they carry harbor Bubonic plague. If you argue that plague helps clear the gene pool, he will point out how sad it is there will be no one left to feed the cute little kittens. A truly practiced Doomsayer's attack will have a complete lack of any solution to the dread possibilities he foresees while leaving you sure your solution is hopeless, as in fact, all things are. Best deleted or at least read without a hari-kari knife or noose within reach.

Used Car Salesman

I think the 'used car salesmen' might be an addition to the list. Someone who seems to always have a product or service to sell, and that always gets worked into the current topic of conversation through the most tenuous of connections. Cheers, Luke.

Omnipresent

How about this one: "omnipresent". Omnipresent seems to always be online. No matter what time it is you log on, you will find he has recently answered to all discussions. His constant presence makes it hard to fight, since any attack will inmediately be countered. Yet, having no time between attacks expereienced warriors will find it easy to defeat him with well thought out posts. Omnipresent normally accepts defeat, but he will always be there, ready to be the first into battle.

Gremlins:

Gremlins are a group of liberal Ideologues that cause trouble. When you get into serious, heated discussions with them, where they are backed into a corner and start contradicting themselves, they gang up on you, twist your words, spam the board, make fun of your beleifs, bring up off topic debates or create little alter egos (Explained Later) to attack you from. Even when they slow down enough to be shown that some of their liberal thought is wrong, they say "Well all the great liberal minds agree with me." Gremlins are too small and quick and numerous to do a full fledged attack on. So the best thing to do is to let these gremlins starve by not giving them any attacks, to be very accurate in your attacks.

Alter Ego:

A brother of Stelth. But unlike stelth, Alter Ego is a regular poster that takes up another identity to attack some of the posters. Usually, regulars can tell who the poster is automatically is and they dismiss him.

Lunatic

Have you thought about "Lunatic" ? Technically they hardly ever flame so maybe they don't count. The genuine ones are also quite rare, but they're out there - posting the same crackpot theories periodically. Judging from their reasonings, they must be living in a totally different universe; but some of them can be quite entertaining.

Reference Librarian

maybe you could add "Reference Librarian." When I *do* get sucked into a "discussion", I try to back up my facts meticulously with citations and links.

Libertarian

That Ideologue extraordinaire, the one who may be alone but still manages to sound like 5000 other warriors, that obnoxious little Libertarian! Rare is the politically-inclined forum that doesn't contain at least one libertarian, spending his time valiantly attacking those evil thieving tax-and-spend liberals and trying to assure that he's not hard-core right-winger his posts would seem to indicate (after all, he supports drug legalization!) And of course, let us not forget Gordon's Restatement of Newman's Corollary to Godwin's Law: "Libertarianism (pro, con, and internal faction fights) is the primordial netnews discussion topic. Anytime the debate shifts somewhere else, it must eventually return to this fuel source."

Hermit

What would you classify one that is totally bored to no end and is looking for people (anyone - flamers included) to talk to, and the net is it? LOL Maybe Hermit would be a good title?

The Temperamental Tomcat

The temperamental tomcat is a rare warrior who is one of the more territorial of all warriors, once he settles into a place: it becomes his (he’ll mention that frequently to newbies) and he seldom leaves its confines for long except for brief bouts of wanderlust. Tomcat is most noted for his lack of a constant method for dealing with others and can quickly change moods and even seem to change personality on a whim making him extremely unpredictable. Wiser warriors make quick allies of tomcat as his claws usually backed by a sharp mind, and an unruffled, “I’m better than you attitude” worthy of the aristocracy can be potent weapons when he heads into battle fearlessly (he has nine lives after all). Due to his unpredictable nature tomcat is neither liked nor loathed and conver

suggest Wrong Way

One tactic I've seen really makes me gasp with laughter is one annoyingly verbose 'victim' keeps blindly replying to posts whose "follow-up" field is way way WAY elsewheresville ... Every time someone baits him with a snarky post, he immediately replies, but to the wrong usenet group! I can't stop laughing! And he still falls for it even though WE KEEP TELLING HIM WHAT'S HAPPENING! Gah! Can't! Breathe! Laughing! Too! Hard! .... (well that's not a suggestion for a caricature, just an anecdote ... you've given me much laughter, I wanted to return the favor)

True Cynic/Vetran:

This Flame Warrior is often confused for the Lurker, due to his lack of response. He however is a far cry from a mere Lurker. He's been out on the net for years, and seen every argument. While in the current forum he might be refered to as Newbie or Lurker......somewhere else, he's known as Royal, Kung FU Master....even Troll. He finds amusement in watching a new forum rehash old debates......and secretly hopes they add something new to the discussion. Rarely, however, does this happen. *grin* I love it! :)

Split personality

- comes to the forum as 2 distinct entities, which will often be quite different from each other. Highly developed, the split personality is so sure that he is 2 different people that he often argues with his other self, forcing the forum to pick sides and decide which 1/2 wins the popularity contest.

Followup comment by another guest
I think split personality is a good one. I know several people with "other selves", and one makes use of the disclaimer that her cat has learned to type.

Hacker

For new archetype, I think you can add some "hacker" type guy, whose interest is on his own private experiments of his DoS attack skill. I run a web site with CGI web-forum programs written by myself, of course with enough care to be techie-flame-proof...

The Hydra

How about the HYDRA? The HYDRA often starts as a FILIBUSTER, but soon discovers that he has absolutely no support, and the same argument coming over and over again from the same participant is easily ignored. So rather than develop new arguments, he grows new heads. Before long he can have any number of personalities, but still only one topic of conversation. HYDRA usually makes only a passing attempt to disguise the different personalities with different styles, and is easily uncovered by the other warriors.

The Go-Between

perhaps you should create for us the go-between flamer. You know, the guy that tries to stir up dissention between two message boards that have similar topics? I don't know if this makes any sense, it is just one of those late at night random thoughts...

The Waffler

The Waffler, the indecisive person you enter into a shouting match with as a comrade but who actually is converted by the enemy. Never side with The Waffler; she always is paralyzed by attempting to see both sides of the debate, soul-searching thinking-out-loud sessions, and general wishy-washyness. Sometimes The Waffler ACTUALLY CHANGES SIDES! DEATH! DEATH TO THE WAFFLER!

Spammer

I didn't see a spammer, and it is a well known fact that every bulletin board has a few people who come just to spam. Just my idea...

suggestion sounds like a version of Attention Whore

What about the one who thinks the entire forum was invented just so that she could grab all of the attention. Other participants such as the Wnnies for example, (or any male with particular testosterone imbalances), worship the ground she walks on, but most of the time she annoys the hell out of anyone else trying to carry on a conversation. She regards those as "too deep" and would much prefer that everyone talk about her bra size... aaaaarrrrrgggghhhhh!

suggest Dump

They post, attacking someone's elses work or creativeness, championing a thinly veiled social issue (let's say racism for example), but at the end always the disclaimer -- I'm not speaking personally here... I don't particularly feel this way myself, but some of your readers may... Anyway, I mean no disrespect in any way to Sam, I actually don't feel this way, it's just that some of your other readers... blah blah blah and blah.

Gladiators:

Gladiators appears to be powerful Flame Warriors. However, unlike Kung Fu Masters, they are more show, flair, style than actual substance. Gladiators are characterised by their very numerous posts across many threads, brashly and constantly advertising their presence and drawing attention to themselves. Lesser warriors can be intimidated by this, but seasoned veterans can very often withstand Gladiators' attack by ignoring them or shooting them down directly with superior flames of true substance

The Silver Medalist:

A silver medalist is a flame warrior that could be a King on othher sites, but since he has a more powerful ally than him, he has to contend with being the silver medalist. The rival warrios regard him as somebody not to pay as big attention to as the king of the board, but regards some attention noneoftheless. A silver medalist can get his position by either fighting a battle with the king and putting up a worthy fight, he could be a rotweiller on the rise, a lesser flame warrior evolving into somebody tougher, an apprentice (Explained later.) a powerful newbie that hasn't proven himself yet, or a king who fought a worthy battle with an up and commer and lost. Silver medalists are sometimes also hustlers because the rest of the board doesn't think he's as big as a threat as the king.

Villiage Idiot

A Villiage Idiot is the poster on the board that's utterly stupid, rude, obnoxious and sometimes posts in caps. The Net Nanny usually has a low tolerance for the obnoxious veriety and kills th

Apprentice

Apprentice (Also known as a mentor and protoge.). The apprentice is different from a me too. An apprentice is a rotweiller puppy or another weak warrior with potential that a stronger warrior takes underneeth his wing, develops him into a powerful warrior that takes his side forever, and quickly destroys his mentor's enemies. The apprentice is a worthy foe to fight with, and if you don't take him seriously, he will take some of your limbs.

Seagull

How about "Seagull"? Seagulls fly by, drop their poop, and leave.

Calvary Leader

Calvary Leader rarely gets outnumbered.. because he knows just the other newsgroup/board to bring in friends to support his views and position. Fond of crossposting, which often causes trouble with Nanny... The Mystic Mongoose, former Archivist/Royalty on a few newsgroups, now retired..

Pseudo-Robotic

Pseudo-Robotic: 98% of output is robotic, 2% original material. Amusing watching two of these in combat. E.g. flamer called KeN whoose arguments always similar to "KeN is KeN therefore you are misinformed"

Story Teller:

Plays to crowd. Stories obviously fictional but guilt by association takes its toll on opponent.

(same entry) Fave trick of mine. Cause and Effect:
Collection of similar tricks: posting trolls with followups: set, implicating parties indirectly, guessing at people's hidden secrets. Always intends the desired effect to come several posts later.

cursing Retiree

There comes a time for every warrior to leave the forum for good because he finally found something better to do with his spare time. Some go in peace without a word, but the cursing retiree leaves at the peak of his final battle. His last words are a bitter spell: "You've done it. You've driven me out of this place. Eternal shame on you. Your cruelty shall haunt you forever...."

The opponents are left behind with an overwhelming sense of guilt indeed. Tears are shed for a good pal gone. There is no victory as complete as the retiree's. In fact, the victory feels so good that the retiree is badly tempted to come back a few days/weeks/months later...

The Pharisee.

He's been around in the forum for a while, so he likes to think he's a Royal. He frequently acts as Nanny, Diplomat, and Peacemaker. He claims he works hard to keep the common internet crap out of this nice forum.
Yet those who've been around for a long time too, know that he's just a sanctimonious jerk - really the initiator and main perpetrator of some of the greatest flame wars in this forum's history. Whenever the shit flies - this guy loves to be near the fan, either preaching or throwing shit himself.

suggest Whataru Mean

I wonder if there's a category for someone who makes whacked-out points, and when you point out their flaws, they pretend they don't know what you're talking about, or you missed their point entirely, or you don't know how to read. They then accuse you of arguing with yourself, even though they've responded to you at least 5 times. I was in an argument with a person exactly like that today. I'd been in another row with this same guy about a month before, and he used the exact same tactics, including the "arguing with yourself" bit. I laughed at him of course :-)

Portnoy and Groupie

However, can you please include Portnoy (of Portnoy's Complaint by Phillip Roth) and Groupie. Groupie chicks abound on the internet.

Professor

i think there should be an archetype reflecting a scholarly persona that can't seem to keep from attempting to make their losing argument appear to be a 'lesson' to somebody. maybe the 'enlightened one' so you're saying you don't know anything about the industrial index , after all ? ah so you see - things are not always what they seem or , leaning more towards the scholarly side and away from the argument (or loss of one) ; somebody who seems to think that the forum is their surrogate classroom -- like some dismally failed (probably drunk) professor ... their flames consist of lengthy rants that sound like transcripts of lecture-hall minirecordings. if the person on the receiving end doesn't seem to grasp the concept illustrated, or doesn't want to wade through the excessive piles of printed info, then the professor imminently degrades them with a big fat 'F' . or something.

suggest Anti Thursday

Why don't you have a picture of a drooling mad man, cousin to Nanny that monitors the behavior of everyone on the newsgroup in order to classify them. What a waste of time. The reason why I don't participate in groups are people like X Instead of just dealing with people on the site, X has to give everyone a label and assume that everyone is out to get them. Fucking lame.

The Board Hustler.

The board hustler is a person that goes into a battle looking like he's easy fodder, much like Woody Harelson on White Men Can't Jump. But when he seems to be overmatched, he gives quick, hard and devastating blows to an unsuspecting warrior, leaving the victim stunned, amazed and scared. The Hustler's attack is a favorite by Kung Fu Masters. Rotweiller Puppies always use the Hustler's attack to show people that they have grown up into big dogs. Glioth and the Philistines Glioth is the only 9 foot 500 lb warrior in a clique of weak, uninformed, and struggling warriors. Often, when the Philistines are in trouble, Glioth always bails them out. When Glioth is away or outwitted, the Philistines are picked apart by lesser warriors. A revised edition of an earlier warrior I put out.

The Ferrous Cranius

The Ferrous Cranius is a warrior that believes that his hard set dogmatic like beliefs aren't ever wrong. He usually attacks others who do not believe what he believes, and ridicules them. When faced with some facts from other warriors, he usually takes a quote from some uneducated opinion about a subject from a proclaimed great mind and stumbles the weaker warriors, however, the stronger warriors pick it apart, and leave him alone. This breed preys on Howler Monkeys and Unintelligent Decons, or Profoundus Maximi and Unintelligent Philosophers, depending on the beliefs of the person.

The Parrot

The Parrot is a warrior that attacks feircley, but not strongly. When backed into a corner, he always mutters out a specific term. Eventually, when other warriors see he's not fit to fight, they walk off. Tireless Rebutters, Evil Clowns and Jerks who are interested in making him look bad are the only ones that would continue fighting with him. The latter 2 only want to fight with him because they think it's funny to see him say the same thing over and over again.

Handle Bandits.

Handle Bandits are warriors that go out and steal others past, present, or sometimes even real names or handles, either by outright imitation on places you don't have to register, or impersonation by replacing a lowercase "L" with the number "1" on places you have to register on. Their attacks are usually ignored after a while.

The Sprinter

The sprinter is a warrior that comes out of the blue, attacks out of nowhere, burning all of his opponants on a board. Sooner or later, the sprinter runs out of energy, concedes victory to other members of the board, leaves and comes back once in a while. He is great fodder for pythons, which are explained later on.

The Python

The Python is a warrior that smothers it's victim with lengthy attacks, suffocating him with letters. This attack is one of the most time consuming ones to counter against. If a Python is also an Ennui, a Profoundus, or a Philosipher, this attack will kill even a Big Dog. Mercenary A Mercenary is a strong warrior from another board who's brought over to help a weaker warrior on one board to fight. The Mercenary runs off when the battle is over, so he's not considered a useful ally to others except the one who hired the Mercenary.

Newbie

Is there a picture for 'Newbie' in the works?

1. ENDLESS LOOP.
Flame Warrior who just posts the same verbiage over and over until their opponent is ground down (similar in some ways to, but slightly different from Tireless Rebutter).

2. CUT-AND-PASTE ARTIST

(or perhaps "artiste"?). Flame Warrior who munges your quoted text so badly it hardly even resembles the original, and then proceeds to rebut points you never actually made. - Kevin

Scphantic Mderator

How about "The sicphantic moderator". He only jumps in to defend or otherwise suck up to the head moderator or head clique leaders, but rarely does any actual moderating or makes any moderator decisions. I see this all the time.

Angry Umpire:

Wile similar in many respects to a Nanny, the angry umpire has a feirce temper. He usually stays out of battles, but once drawn in, starts sending people out left and right for any challenge to his authority, especially a secondary challenge charging overreaction at removing a combatant from the group

Dittohead:

These are similar in many respects to the Me-too, a dittohead quotes what he sees and hears on television and radio as truth, and usually with site his source ie "On Investigative reports, they said...". they often have world views similar to the troglodyte, and attract negative attention from the more liberal netizens for using Rush Limbaugh as a source.

Shotgun Pete:

Smilar to a kung fu master, these warriors are tough. though slow to provoke, once rousted, they decimate their opponent with well placed shots, either by themselves or flunkies, as they are always old timers on the list, with many freinds needless to say, I've encountered quite a few flame warriors. I could list more, but this post i

Skulking Lamprey:

Skulking Lamprey lurks in the murky depths, waiting for the flamewars to die down. After the victors have moved on, he pounces, sinking his rubbery jaws into the remaining, exhausted combatants. His attacks often consist of clumsy regurgitations of flames made by more skilled warriors. At best, Skulking Lamprey will mature into a Rottweiler Puppy, at worst, a Me-Too. More often then not, however, he will continue to lurk far from the heat of battle, oblivious to the indifference or contempt with which his occasional appearances are met.

Seven Deadly Sins

? Pray, are you aquainted with the seven deadly sins? It is a 6th century catholic doctrine developed to catagorize spiritual shortcommings. They are; pride, envy, gluttony, lust, anger, covetouness and sloth and when placed with your exceedingly fine examples of flamers, could produce a hilariuos new internet doctrine. Shall I venture to name it the Seven Deadly Sins of a Internet Message Poster and let you take it from there? If this proves gratifing, please move beyond sensibility and favor us with the Seven Deadly Whims of a Internet Messages Poster. I hope that this missive was most informative and instructive and we can depend on your talent to see it fulfilled . Your Truly, Mary Bennet

Fire and Forget

Please add the "Fire and Forget" poster. Possibly a subset of Troll, but F&F is a long-standing inhabitant of the group. Nearly as annoying as his opposite, the Tireless Rebutter, and as hard to combat as Ennui. F&F will post an argument, or reply to another, with several statements of fact or opinion. This elicits a dozen responses which go unreplied, and sometimes the respondents get into an argument among themselves. Weeks or months go by, and another message with nearly the same subject matter is posted, drawing the same amount of reply traffic. Eventually, the residents realize he's not going to engage in a discussion and don't bother to reply. Newbies are this warrior's usual catch.

The Yawner

Heres one that I thought of while scanning the USEnet Yawner:The yawner attempts to render other warriors posts ineffective by taking an uninterested stance. He starts by sarcasticly yawmning and then follows with a demeaning comment about the subject.

Wolf and wolfpack:

Wolfpack, unlike a conglomerate, is a grouping of the most powerful, but evil posters on the board, usually comprised of smart troglodytes, evil clowns, jerks, an occasional evil kung fu master, some royals and big dogs. You can clearly see it isn't a group of Me Too's the way they attack. Wolf attacks are feirce unpredictable, and crushing, and that's when they are facing you without his fellow wolves. When you get their wolfpack bretheren on you, that's your cue to go to other boards and leave them alone.

Lone Ranger:

A poster that has no home board, but roams about boards helping lesser flame warriors that share his opinions defeat the stupid warriors that are dominating them. As quick as the lone ranger makes his rivals quiver, he leaves, because he usually gets bored with picking on the stupid people on the board and wants to find smart people to converse with.

Stupid-Ass Wrong Bastards.

Yeah, I was just getting this flame from this Stupid-ass Wrong Bastard who didn't know when he was wrong (and he was), and I was thinking of finding some page of yours to link to, to show this flaming idiot what he's like, and... there's NONE. A new Warrior type. Now, remember to give me credit, ok? I trust you, of course. -- Robert

(comment by Fence Sitter - that was so funny I had to leave it in)

THE TROLL

THE TROLL OWN3S, yet he is not on this list please explain ?

Big Dog Puppy:

Usually a newbie to the internet or to that topic, the Rotweiller gets torn apart by everybody because he's new and he's not used to the other's attacks, however, he does have some good arguments. But he gets used to the others attacks, learns how to avoid them, learns how to reverse them, and learns the other's weak spots, and becomes a dominant warrior.

Ferrous Cranius:

A philosipher that's not open to other ideas of thought rather than the popular ideas of thought from other philosiphers in his feild. He is the hybrid child of the Philosipher and the Jerk. He makes fun of others when he's backed into a corner, and insult's the person's beliefs or he uses shaky quotes from a brilliant mind to back it up. Howler Monkeys and Tireless Rebutters egg on these these people, but give up after realising they aren't worth time to fight with.

Pet Peeve

I would suggest Pet Peeve; a poster who lives on the list to criticize and post his/her singleminded opinion on one issue, and one issue only.

Schoolmarm

Mazeltov! How 'bout a "schoolmarm" or "li'l perfesser", for the person who endlessly posts comments like "read the FAQ", "that question was just answered three weeks ago", "do some reading before you display your ignorance", and "Give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Teach him to fish, he eats for a lifetime"?

Howler Monkeys

I come from a USENET newsgroups where the heat is always high becuase of the inherent polarization of the participants' points of view (talk.origins). Unlike politics, one side (not my side, of course :) is objectively wrong. Occasionally newbie will wander in, thinking they have some devastating argument that currently accepted scientific thinking is wrong, when in actuality they did not have the expertise to see the fallacy. Of course, all of these arguments have been heard before, so the rebuttals are known. Many of the participants know them, so the first newbie post gets many replies (say 7). If each is answered , newbie gets 7 more replies for each one of those. One of the longer lasting opponents called us "howler monkeys". Howler monkeys shout at intruders and throw shit at them until the intruder leaves. While our intention is conversion to right thinking :), I am sure that someone not so inclined could perceive the experience as an e

Conglomerate:

The Conglomerate is a group of Warriors drawn together by a common intrest(MUDS for example) The exact make-up of the Conglomerate varies wildly with representives from many classes. The only real way to determine it's make-up is by careful study. When roused to battle, the Conglomerate attacks with most to all of it's members, each one bringing their particular talents to bear. Confronted with multiple attacks on multiple fronts, most quickly fall unless they manage to gather allies(And thus form their own Conglomerate) However, it is not uncommon for the Conglomerate to use sheer numbers to bring down their opponents, using mass low-effective attacks rather then relying on wit and skill. When this happens, the Conglomerate can be mistaken as a Big Dog and the individual members as Me-tos

e.e cummings [comment by Fence Sitter - smallcaps]

The only exception I can think of (and this is stretching it) would be the opposite of ALL CAPS...the poster who uses no caps at all. What would call him (for it usually is a him)? e.e.cummings? This poster is usually someone who likes to post something really inflammatory and annoying and then boo-hoo when everyone jumps his ass for being a chronic drip. This poster also claims he doesn't type well enough to use the shift key. A likely story. And it doesn't stop him from posting twenty posts a day.

Paranoid Poster

I've run into one Called the paranoid poster. He can't beleive anyone could possibly disagree with whatever it is he has to say. If more than one poster disagrees with him he assumes it is the same poster using an alias to "attack him", then runs crying to net nanny that big dog has regained access under a new name. He is defended by other rats. Essentially he is a paranoid crybaby who feels he is right at any cost. Says he beleives in "free speech" but tries to have all who disagree with him removed on a moral agenda. Hangs in a pack 1st defending their right to stay, but "whispers" to other rats to begin the removal, then moves in for the kill at the end demanding removal.

Warpig

Hmmmm, none of these here seem to really fit me that well. I join whatever discussion is current with relevant factual commentary, but express my opinions as snottily as possible ... because I have an extremely black sense of humour, not because I'm a bully. (Granted, the targets of my humour generally fail to see any difference :) If somebody flames back I'll keep upping the temperature until something explodes, if they start whimpering I lose interest and wander off. Here is a remarkably dead on recent evaluation by one whiny type: "This is true. I do get somewhat defensive when people started getting really personal. We all blow our tops occasionally, and there are the obvious flamers. This is not this case with the Reverend. He's actually has many valid points and is very good at mixing interesting points with pointed insults. I personally have never experienced this combination here. In my opinion one is talking about a very smart individual out to cause mischief. I'm too old to want to deal with this type..." That's pretty much right, my personality is like Loki in the Norse myths; not exactly evil, but there is definitely a malicious edge to my mischievousness. I see myself as distinct from a Bully or Jerk archetype because if I don't get anything amusing out of you after a jab or two, I'll get bored and wander off; I get my energy out of conflict, not out of dominating someone or pulling them down, which is the bully and jerk motivation respectively. That's how I see it, anyway. I guess the best name for my type would be "Warpig". Doesn't matter a bit who's on what side or what the argument is supposedly about, as long as there's lots of bombs flying in every direction :)

Gibberish Man

I see you are missing "Gibberish Man" - a peculiar species (usually male, and utterly unaware of their very real residency in a different universe from the rest of the world) which has a loose, religious/conspiracy kinda superiority thang going on, and who doggedly replies and replies with ever more bizarre presuppositions. They freely make reference to the inventions of their own mind with capitalized, self-coined phrases as though we all understand what the frick they are talking about (eg: "You are trying to use the Magic Mirror quantum ferment effect on me, but your theistic evolutionary ways are known by the number they bear, obviously." to which all can only say "HUH?"). They usually end up being sourced quasi-regularly with intentional provocation for the payoff of surreal autistic haiku as a form of comic relief (which they do not understand they are being used for, and so valiantly continue responding). This species will actually engage in argument with randomly generated text.

suggest some sort of Jykyl / Hyde

Not really sure wher I fit in the scheme of things. I usually tend to let just about everything go over my head. Should it actually get to the point where I am offended, rather than sniping back from the trees, I will head out all guns blazing and probably nuke the opposition then go silent for several weeks with feelings of guilt at having demolished them. Other list members will think it so out of charactor for me I will be forgiven instantly. I am really a teddy bear.

The Peer Pressure Purveyors

The Peer Pressure Purveyors disperse positive reinforcement to those who chime in with them and negative reinforcement against those who disagree. The Peer Pressure Purveyors tactic is very simply to gang up on an opponent, often a newbie with a different view point. The Peer Pressure Purveyors are motivated by a demand for constant reinforcement of how wonderfully emotionally satisfying and legitimate their little cyber-clique is. That is why they are so sensitive to any posts strictly on topic, much less tenacious dispute. The Peer Pressure Purveyors are only patient for so long if they go unstroked by any forum participant. The Peer Pressure Purveyors are a sort of petty evil support group.

Unix Admin

You have yet to illustrate a Unix Admin character who smokes and hence has a keyboard so dirty you can't read which keys are which.

Date June 21, 2000
Name Mike Reed
Email mikelr@winternet.com
Home page www.winternet.com
City Minneapolis
State Minnesota
Country USA
Comments The Flame Warriors began in response to a flame war that broke out on a mailing list. The course of the hostilities followed its usual dismal trajectory, and, to a veteran net crawler like me, many of the combatants seemed eerily familiar. Hence, I decided to do a few sketches and description to outline the profiles of the chief antagonists. This is a work in progress, so any input from Warriors and civilians alike will be much appreciated. Technical note: All of the drawings were done on a Mac G4 500 with a 12" x 18" Intuos graphics pad using Metacreations Painter 6.03.