Joined: 01 Jan 2005
How about this one, provided someone else hasn't already come up with it, which is probable. x_x Googlectual - Rides headlong into any debate on his white steed of self-importance. With writing skills for a sword, and google.com for a shield, he unflichingly attacks warriors even in their respective areas of expertise. Sometimes his sheer fervor will intimidate a lesser warrior (who is likely to return later when Googlectual is discovered). He is soon found out, though, either when he's asked a question that can't be found readily via search engine, or when someone notices most of his posts were pasted from somewhere else. When this happens he'll immediately register a new account. Illustration: A weasely-looking guy is googling, "What is Astrophysics". See ya!
Please add "fourmites" as well ! ;)
You need to make a new Flamewarrior called "Drone" or "Borg". Ruthlessly assimilates other people's arguements (usually without their permission) and adapts them to their own use. Lacks personal creativity, but makes up for it by accumulating large quantities of other's arguements and modifying them only slightly to appear original. "Borg" pr "Drone" can also be known as "Stone Deaf". Anyhow, hope the suggestion is funny if anything. :)
How about 'Chums': Chums isn't really a member of the forum community, but he has a friend(s) who is. When not repeatedly barging into the forum to 'holla' at his friend, Chums will occasionally wade into the rehtorical fray ('at his freind's behest' of course), but will leave in a huff upon the slightest challenge. Chums' forum spam is generally resented, but efforts pointing him to more appropriate communications tools are futile. Generally good natured, Chums is usually just ignored, but if he becomes too disruptive then admin will step in and deal with the situation (usually alienating Chums' friend in the process). WARNING: Chums and his friend(s) may be the same person.
The Cultist could be a follower of anything, but they usually choose obscure internet fads to devote themselves to. When not in battle, Cultists will make as much of a point of their preference as possible, often citing references and the like, and doing little else. When challenged for this behaviour, they will immediatley fly into a zealot-like rage and lash out with either more references, or poorly formed insults. Cultist is often a favourite prey of Jerk. Cultist may also become a Target, if they overstep their boundaries or go into the wrong forum...
Fashion Victim - Whenever a new fad, craze, cartoon, game or infact just about anything comes along, Fashion Victim is always the first to fall for it hook, line and sinker. They will then immediatley blast the forum with rantings and ravings about their new following and attempt to get others to join. Predictably enough, when a new sensation comes along, they drop and forget their old one completley in order to devote themselves to whatever happens to have gotten their attention this time. Fashion Victim is a difficult warrior to engage or be engaged by due to the fact their attentions are always elsewhere, but when brought to the field of battle, they will usually take upon the guise of Stone Deaf.
Grim Reaper - Almost as feared as Godzilla, the Grim Reaper is less universally destructive, because he instead shows up at the forum to claim only one specific warrior. The Grim Reaper, within moments of showing up, will attack his chosen warrior, and his attack will be so horrendous or deadly to his target that they are immediatley vanquished and disappear from the forums forever. Other warriors that spring to the defense of the reaper's victim are simply left in a state of horror as the reaper simply disappears from whence he came and doesn't even have the decency to reply. Stealth or Impostor covet Grim Reaper's power and will on occasion try to replicate it, but only the Grim Reaper himself is ever successful. The only warrior that can stop Grim Reaper is Admin, and only by sheer luck can he deflect a Reaper attack.
Thug is a brutish and loudmouthed warrior who is rarely out of combat. He often comes to forums purely to seek more opponents to attack, and he is not picky when he comes to choosing his battles, and will often engage multiple warriors at a time for the sheer thrill of it. Thug's primitive battle strategy is to simply try and offend people as much as possible in a short time as possible. At first, he will resort to simply making utterly immoral suggestions and comments. If pressed further he will infact display some intelligence by researching his opponent's personality, experiences, past and whatnot, and then exploiting it with targeted, personalised commentaries. To the outsider, Thug's posts rarely look like anything more than an obscenity-filled diatrabe. Thug is the polar opposite of Eagle Scout, and both will fight each other to the death upon encountering one another. Evil Clown and Jerk, and on occasion Troglodyte will often attempt to ally themselves with Thug, but are turned away with the signature immoral blasting
Kamikaze can often be likened to Target, but differs in the fact that Kamikaze's tendency to get himself into hot water is 100% intentional. Kamikaze will hunt down forums that oppose his personal preference, and will then marinate the battlefield with insults against the preference of the forum and it's residents. However, Kamikaze is infact a weak opponent, and if challenged directly he will often flee the battlefield permanently. That is, if Admin doesn't blast him first. Kamikaze's post count rarely ever reaches more than 20. WARNING: Kamikaze is rarely older than 13.
"The Martyr". A suitable picture could be a man nailed to two crossed keyboards. The MARTYR is by nature opinionated and argumentative. This attitude may well have drawn the attention of forum administrators who have asked him to tone down his language. This ANGERS the martyr who then makes it his goal in life to chastise anyone who he feels is acting in the same manner as he, but who isn't being similarly chastised. Inevitably, this behavious leads to further attention from the administrators and the vicious cycle into ugly death begins...
Antihero is usually sarcastic and mean spirited and sometimes outright abusive, however, unlike a Jerk, he has a core set of values that he would defend. For instance, if a Compost, Rat or a Godzilla starts attacking an Ent, a Royal or a Peacemaker, Antihero will pause from one of his favorite activities (Usually torturing Patois, Weenie or Newbie) and unleash his full fury of agression on those warriors.
Don Juan has a taste for the ladies on the forum. Unlike a Perv, the ladies on the forum also have a taste for him. Don Juan uses his flirting skills to render female posters innefectivee in battle, and because of that skill, he's loathed by Troglodyte, who insinuates that Don Juan might be gay. Don Juan is another favorite guise of Imposter.
This warrior is the dreaded Bot! No need to explain, I'll let you do this one, Mike.
The Guerilla. This is the person who rips your message apart, but in a manner often egregiously full of errors and inaccuracy, and will only reply with silence. But unlike Stone Deaf, he will make it a point to publicly declare that all your posts will be unread and ignored, autodeleted, added to the killfile, etc. After making a point designed to infuriate with its inaccurracies, he will often sign "don't even bother replying, because I've added you to my killfile".
you forgot to add SUICIDE BOMBER
Let me introduce "Osmosis." Osmosis is someone who claims expertise on one or more subjects not because of her own learning but because of her boyfriend or husband's. She is somewhat similar to "Blowhard" in presenting a credential for the tiniest opinion, but she is unique that the credential always sounds something like "My bofriend has a master's in Genetics and he says..." Said partner does not ever seem to make a guest appearance on the forum to settle any issues. Osmosis does not understand that living with an expert is not the same as being an expert, and therefore she doesn't understand how everyone could think she's an idiot.
I call it the sand-fairy, because it 'throws sand in your eyes' so you'll fall asleep. she/he talks so much about useless details, or say exactly the same over and over again but in other words and if you say something against it she/he'll say that 'you don't understand' (and again, she/he'll repeat her/himself) The closest relative to this one would be Loopy, I think.
Guest seconding Necromancer
Necromancer is awesome! Great job, i think it is right up there with all your classic warrior definitions that everyone loves so much. As far as fly-by-night/hit-and-run, i really don't know what those other guys are talking about when they say that it is like troller and lurker. It is nothing at all like troller and lurker. Troller and lurker are almost always REGULARS on the forum. Pretty much all long-time forums even have one or two trollers who have reached the status of 'royals'. Lurker, by definition, follows the forum, that is why when he suddenly appears it is so disconcerting because he knows the forum as if he is a regular known member but nobody knows who the hell he is. Fly-by-night, by contrast, stops into the forum one day, then and there, on a whim, makes one or more controversial posts, and then LEAVES, never to return. He's not a member of the forum community, he doesn't follow the forum, he isn't (AS IS THE DEFINITION OF TROLLER) trying to get a response out of people, BECAUSE BY DEFINITION DOESN'T WAIT AROUND TO READ THE RESPONSES. Fly-by-night/hit-and-run is an incredibly common flame warrior, i have never seen a forum where he/she didn't fly by occasionally. Sorry about the rant.
Stalker: A particularly belligerent Warrior with more tenacity than intelligence. Stalker selects one person, attaches himself to him like a limpet, and unleashes an unending torrent of abuse. Although each of Stalker's are crude and pathetic, the sheer consistency weighs the victim down in the end. Sometimes Stalker's obsession can cloud his perception of the difference between the forum and real life, resulting in a challenge to settle the dispute with fists. Inevitably neither combatant shows up. Stalker eventually meets with one of two fates. Either he is expelled by the mods, or he begins to annoy everyone else so much that as soon as he opens his mouth he's ground into the turf.
Post Whore. These are people I've come accoss that post on every thread, just to have a high post count. They comment and congratulate each other on their high numbers, like it somehow makes them cool. They quote each others' one word responses until their posts are half a page long. It's a real hassle to weed through all the smiley faces and "dUd3 U rOx3rs U teh c001" crap to read the real responses. I just noticed them on the forum of a game I play. Most actually claim to be adults but I wonder.
People who rarely visit a forum and when they do, post something lengthy and opinionated and then never respond to the replies. Often the post has been posted to many forums in a similar manner and usually, it is not completely germane to the subject of the forum. Often, the essay (the usual form of the posting) reveals the author's overly developed sense of self-importance. The posting is likely to also be on the poster's personal web-page. I leave it to your clever imagination to come up with a name. Thanks again for the fun page.
comment by guest
Oh, and as for Tim's suggestion, about the guy who shows up at a forum, reads it a little, posts one long controversial post, and then dissapears forever, i think it is great and we have all seen this happen many times. This is different from lurker, because lurker actually follows the forum in question, whereas the warrior Tim describes just shows up one day, goes crazy making one or more intrusive and controversial posts, and then leaves immediately before anyone has a chance to respond, never to return. I admit i've been guilty of this a few times myself.
Oh, oops, and what he/she should be called is: 'fly-by-night'.
comment by another guest
To the poster who suggested "Fly By Night" as the name for the person who drops one controversial post and then leaves, I think a better name might be "Hit and Run." What that person does is perfectly analogous to a hit-and-run driver, and he or she inflicts as much damage online as the driver does on the highway.
How about the "clueless guy"? This would be a guy who has no clue as to why he was booted off of a particular forum/website. I admit, I have a bit of a vested interest in seeing this creation brought to light. After being involuntarily exiled from a particular website-and not having a clue as to the reason for my ejection-I'm still a bit baffled as to the proper "netiquette" for these public chat/news forum sites. The putative "clueless guy" also has no clue why he was expelled-seeing as how he never engaged in defamatory or otherwise objectionable b
The Necromancer: Like Archivist, Necromancer's method of battle is highly dependant on the actions of others. This warrior scours the battlefield, searching old discussion topics related to his current predicament, and ressurects the arguments and rhetoric of other Warriors to use in his own attacks. Often young or ill-read, or a newcomer to the forum, Necromancer's major weakness is his own lack of knowledge in the topic at hand. He wishes to make a statement but is short of the experience to do much more than guess, and so he is forced to plunder the ideas and statistics of others-perhaps even his enemies in the current discussion. Necromancer can be a deadly foe, but he is almost entirely restricted to a single, overwhelming atack in which he pours almost all of his rhetorical resources. Because he is not proficient enough or confident enough in his own knowledge, he cannot develop effective arnaments of his own, and is instead restricted to using his hodge -podge arsenal, often somewhat worn out. A few attacks will quickly show the cobbled-together nature and lack of originality in his plagiarized statements and will quickly send him from the battlefield. More talented Necromancers may try to scrounge more evidence for their argument from their enemies' attacks, but it is a risky strategy at best. Necromancer is often scorned by other, more knowledgable Warriors and easily sidestepped by the more agile or discerning enemy. However, beware! You might be giving him some more ammunition!
How about Sybil? The person who is subscribed to a list under multiple names (and as multiple persons). When bored, Sybil will occasionally start a flame war with one of her other personas. Sort of like the imposter, but on a grander scale.
Debunker -- The archenemy of Klaxon. Some Debunkers are experienced scientists, while others are simply lifelong enthusiasts of their chosen field. Their love of science leads them on a crusade to stamp out pseudoscience on the Net. Their intelligence and extensive knowledge of the subject make them strong warriors. However, their logical and articulate arguments are often wasted on opponents who lack sufficient critical thinking skills needed to fully understand them. As a result, frustrated Debunkers may stoop to using the tactics of Grammarian. Warning: A Debunker who is also Propeller Head might resort to attacking his opponents' web sites and IRC channels.
1. Pinky and the Brain
It's Pinky and the Brain, one is a genius; the other's insane. The Brain can be Kung-fu master or any other of the smarter warriors. Inexpicably to others, he allies himself with the forum Loopy, Garble, or Lamer. What attracts Brain to Pinky is unclear, which is why he may actually be Evil Clown, Imposter, or Maximus Profundus, and would be using Pinky to make himself look good.
2. Two Dolla Ho
Two Dolla Ho is usually (but not always) a young attractive female. She differs from Strumpet in that she is actually not all talk. She can be a very decisive warrior. In battle she will not hesitate to post compromising photos of herself...which, needless to say, can be pretty distracting. She is lectured often by Deacon and despised by the Cyber Sisters. Naturally, she's the object of Lonely Guy/Propeller Head's obsessions. If Admin is a female, she may not be around long. Caution: She may be a he, not that it matters.
A fan of Lord of the Rings and all things medieval or geeky, Dungeonmaster speaks fluent Elvish, Wookie, and binary. Unlike Propeller Head, he is not necessarily antisocial and can communicate with people, be he can get vicious in battle. However, due to his limited(and somewhat irrelevant)knowledge, he doesn't have the stamina to weather heavy assaults.
Angry Young Man
I seem to see these fellows on messageboards a lot... the "Angry Young Man". They are usually older than the "Acnes" and more serious than the "Enfants" and are in a constant state of rage. Tirade after tirade about stuff that pisses him off issues forth from his keyboard. Usually "Angry Young Men" are deeper thinkers than others their age (perhaps why they are always so angry?) and they can engage well in debate at times but often their judgement and logic will be clouded by their blinding hate. "Angry Young Man" might grow up into a "big dog" or a "Lonely Guy" or even an "Issues". It depends on any number of factors. At the moment, though, he is a fearsome if predictable warrior.
Shepard - While often appearing as an Eagle Scout to the Newbies and Lamers to lure them into a false sense of friendship, only to use them as cannon fodder when he's confronted and leads his sheep into battle to overwhelm the opposing forces into a mind numbing stupor. CAUTION: Try to prevent the shepard from calling to his flock, while a few newbies and lamers are easy to combat, if they make up half the board, even the most well trained warrior may fall to supieror numbers. Likes: Therapist, Stealth, Picador because they also follow the path of indirect combat Dislikes: Rebel Leader, Nanny, Admin, Royals because they have more sway over the masses then the shepard themselves
The Outright Looney.
Different from Loopy, ALLCAPS, or Stoner in that all that he says is well reasoned. However, he loudly espouses senseless ideals such as blowing up the moon, killing all whalers, making the Dutch wear yellow hats, etc. He rarely gets anyone other than other Outright Loonies to earnestly follow him, but Loopy and other warriors of low intellect might be persuaded. Mostly, he gathers the ire of Admin or Nanny, or has his insanity revealed by Therapist, who is, for once, correct in his estimations. Evil Clowns ten to take both sides for their amusement, as do Imposters.
Possibly lame idea: "Plagiarist." This flamewarrior constantly uses other source without citing them.
The Hatfields and the McCoys.
These are two fighting clans, often of up to a dozen or more on each army, that constantly engage each other in often petty disputes.
How about "Opus"? This flamewarrior is always threatening to leave the forum forever and never return -- although both rarely happen. Often this flamewarrior will post an elaborately written manifest raging against his online enemies -- targets often include "Admin."
"Feminist" would be an excellent new additon.
"Cut&Paster" ... this FW can reduce you to tears by posting tiresome details culled from every possible website available on the topic. His selective C&P results in his ability to make any point under the sun just because he can find gigabytes of information on either side of any issue.
Hi, I think you really need a warrior called "old soldier" (or, alternatively, 'grizzled vet' or 'old campaigner') Old soldier has been around. He's been in countless firefights, survived a Godzilla attack or two, jumped on grenades and thrown a few himself. Old Soldier has been royalty and newbie, ego and lurker; he's seen and fought with all of the other flame warriors at one time or another and lived to tell the tale. His many campaigns and countless hair singing battles have left Old Warrior bloodied but unbowed -- he is pragmatic, crafty, and wise. Old Warrior is a more than worthy adversary, but his tired eyes have seen too much and he will not be drawn into contentious emotional disputes.
In many forums that I've visited, discussions about art, literature, and especially music usually erupt into a sort of "the more esoteric my suggestions, the cooler I am" spitting contest. These affairs are dominated by three or four Elitists, who have chosen a particular genre of music or writing, know it back and forth, and they respond to any invocation of their genre by pointing out how 'lame', 'sold-out', or 'not real XYZ' the poster's suggestion is. For example, a punk rock Elitist cant stand to see Green Day, Blink 182, and Black Flag in the same sentence. A literature Elitist regards anything printed after, say, 1780 to be 'vapid claptrap'. That sort of thing. Attacks are usually personal ('only stupid children like /you/ listen to that crap') or impenetrably specialized ('Yes, that's an interesting painting, but it's clearly derivative of Van Gogh's blue period, and has clear connections to the philosophy of Kant').
This type is generally calm and collected while unifying his own thoughts and territory. Once he has done so, he seeks out the ones who have caused him the greatest trouble in the past and breaks out to decimate the target's argument. He also tends to knock opponents into oblivion with his arguments. He's particularly adamant about the need to utterly annihilate an opponent (particularly when it is has been linked to violent attacks on his country's citizens and ideals), especially with a scorched earth, thermonuclear pounding. The Philosopher can best the Genghis Khan, but he'll have a hard row to hoe... of course, the Admin could simply eliminate him, but usually the Genghis Khan type is advantageous for Admins to have around. Capitalistas, Kung Fu Masters, and Eagle Scouts will often be allied with the Genghis Khan, partly because t
Signoramus goes overboard with his signatures in message boards. Trailing his every post is his ten favorite songs in their entirety, or his eight favorite pictures from the 'net or of his family, pets, etc. at full-screen size if at all possible. Signoramuses are also fond of animated pictures. Where Signoramus roams, loading time goes through the stratosphere and it drives up the cost of operating whatever site the pics are linked from. (I know at least one major site that no longer exists because the Digimon card scans became popular with signoramuses and the cost became prohibitive. Everyone who's ever linked from Megchan's Digimon Encyclopedia: We have *you* to thank for its shutdown.)
What about the crusader? The type of guy who comes to a forum to a forum th spread his views, no matter what they are and is willing to wage many long and bloody battles for them.
How about a seperate category for concerned, polite, subtly elitist suburban mothers? I'm not entirely sure about the categorization but they are out there and they annoy me.
Also, there is Machine Gun...identified by postings like "Sorry for the multiple posts something must have gone wrong" being repeated 5-20 times.
Since you've got a warrior called "Capitalista" on the list, it would make sense to also draw his mirror image, "Communista". Communista is a combination between Pinko, Rebel Leader, and Kung-Fu Master. He is the equal of Capitalista in terms of strength, and can match Capitalista's arguments pound for pound, often citing Capitalista's own sources to attack his position. "Whenever another warrior challenges social justice or equality, or questions the virtues of socialism, Communista springs into action to defend "the rights of the working class" against "bourgeois parasites". He uses a wide variety of ammunition types, ranging from socialists or communists such as Karl Marx and Leon Trotsky, to mainstream economists such as J.M. Keynes, to classical right-wingers such as Adam Smith (using his opponent's own weapons against him). Although Communista lies in a dormant state while politics is not the main subject of the discussion, he is quite capable of unleashing a formidable thunderstorm when roused."
Can't be bothered
I'm not a warrior of any kind. I simply can't be fucked to participate in those kind of discussions. Perhaps, "Can't be bothered" could be included as some kind of anti-warrior?
Beginnings of an idea for another character. Basically no matter what you do, you can't win. If you post a reply to a common question he bawls you out for that for wasting bandwidth. If post a link to a reply he bawls you out for promoting your website. If you don't answer, he bawls you out for not being answering his questions quickly enough. If you do answer, he bawls you out for telling him something he already knows or presuming he knows something he does not yet. Perhaps a name suggesting of gift horses might be appropriate.
comment by guest
I have a name for this guy. Call him Whiner.
The Flagellant's tactic is simple. He mutilates himself with words. For example, if he finds himself in a losing or undefendable position, he says something like, "Okay, I'll never try to make conversation about a serious subject again. I'm just stupid, and I should go hang myself right now." He may be seeking compliments to reassure his fragile ego, or seek to guilt his opponent into silence through a blood display of humility. He usually includes a dig against whoever he was arguing with in his mutilation. Suicide Watch The Suicide Watch is always threatening to leave. Whenever an argument gets too hot, or things go overboard, he starts deleting his posts and leaving dramatic statements of intent. Of course, as anyone knows, someone who really wants to commit suicide cannot be stopped. It is the person who wants to be talked down who shouts the loudest that he is going to jump. This flame warrior is also called the Seppuku Addict.
The Abbreviator, or abbrv. U know the 1 I'm tlking about - evry other wrd is shrtnd bcuz he cant B bothrd 2 type them cmpletly. He tends 2 ROTFL alot, expreses ideas IMHO, and if U ? his abbrevs he'll tell U 2 RTFM. A difficult warrior to engage, as half the battle is trying to figure out what he's actually saying.
suggest Hate Spitter
The other one percent of my time is devoted to wishing cancer on someone or something. Perhaps there should be a mage flame warrior that doesn't nesscarelly attack others with meaningful or hurtful comments, but statements like "I wish you were dead" or "I hope your sister gets raped" depending on the evilty level of the specific mage..
I don't know whether this is accepted, since the warrior I wish to suggest is largely seen only in videogame/TV discussions. It is one I find VERY annoying however. The Otaku. Otaku roughly translates to 'nerd' in Japanese. However, these warriors aren't Japanese themselves, but are usually adolescent American males who are infatuated with Japanese culture. They will loudly proclaim Japanese products (usually, but not limited to cartoons/games) intrinsic superiority over products originating from anywhere else. They often tend to scatter their messages with obscure Japanese phrases and use "^_^" as a smiley instead of the usual ":)" . They are usually weak, but due to their posturing, they are an annoyance to all other warriors on the board, as well as a source of amusement for geniune Japanese everywhere.
There's only one explanation as to why people disagree with Paranoid's opinions; they're all out to get him. He will express this belief loudly on the group, and any suggestion from Nanny, or even Admin, that this is inappropriate will be seen as evidence he's being suppressed.
Hot Button generally avoids battle, and appears to be an Eagle Scout, Bliss Ninny or even Lurker. However, there is one subject she feels very strongly about. She won't bring it up herself, but if someone else mentions it she will be unable to resist expressing her opinion. Unlike an ordinary Lurker, as long as people keep arguing with her she'll keep going, essentially becoming Fillibuster or Tireless Rebutter. Since Hot Button doesn't really want to fight, she can be returned to normal just by saying "Well, I disagree, but I can see your point." (Don't say *why* you disagree: she'll have to explain why that's wrong.) However, once Evil Clown, Troller or Jerk discover someone's a Hot Button, they'll keep pressing.
Recycler doesn't have any arguments of his own. However, if he recognises an discussion that has come up before, he'll borrow someone else's without credit. Point this out (this is where Archivist shows his strength) and he'll mutter "It's still true" and back away.
There is a type I've come across in the Linux forums, particularly the more technical ones, that is the "Usenet Policeman" - a lot like the Net Nanny, tirelessly responding to posts, almost never posting any new material of their own - often early responders to newbie posts, quick to lose patience, or get bored and move on. Variant (which you've covered in another one, but not the same) comes out with RTFM, GAFC etc at short thingumy (i got in a real scrap with one of these on one of the Slackware forums) - if this person could have their way, /no-one/ would post anything on usenet because they would have found out all the answers for themselves anyway... Oh, you find some really world class trolls in there too :-) A good troll will attach him/her/itself to a usenet policeman, like glue. I think it's a sybiotic relationship. )
Spammer. He comes on the forum and spams away for some porno site or something until he's banned. Someone probably mentioned this already.
There is one warrior missing. The "American Hater". If you haven't come across this warrior yet, you're lucky.
Vanilla is a frequent poster and generally has good things to contribute. He's not a showboater, nor is he out to ruin anybody's day. He's definitely not stupid either. He just doesn't see the need to make a big deal out of an internet discussion. If attacked, he'll retaliate but it takes a fair bit of provocation first. His flame skills are average; sometimes he comes out on top, sometimes he loses. He doesn't seem to get bent out of shape either way. But he's generally held in high-esteem for his consistently positive presence despite his bland personality, especially by those who are feel he needs defensive help, despite this not really being true. Vanilla's biggest advantage is that he's not exceedingly memorable, so he can come and go as he pleases, allowing him to pick his battles with great care. And if he does manage to get into a feisty debate, he has the rare freedom of abandoning the battle without suffering any lasting damage to his reputation. After all, a week later, who will have even remembered his having participated?
Usually one of the most respected members of any group, the Devil's Advocate is the ultimate mediator. While most Flame Warriors like to pick a side and defend it to the death, the Devil's Advocate points out flaws in both sides of the argument, especially if one side has little support. Some Devil's Advocates do this aggressively, but most simply try to even out an unbalanced argument, leading to many enemies among the likes of Jerk, Evil Clown, and Rebel Leader. WARNING: Unskilled Devil's Advocates easily become Targets.
The only thing you missed is the Rabble Rouser. You know, that girl who never actually fights, she just makes posts asking certain questions that she knows will get everyone ELSE into a fight and then only posts whenever things start to cool down and then just enough to get everyone else fighting again. That's fun.
It would be really cool if there was a Flame Warrior called 'Flooder' - a warrior who attempts to douse out his rivals by sending message after message with meaningless one letter phrases like ';', 'm', 'j' , 'k' - but never 'jk' together because the flooder's motive seldom involves just kidding around. Flooders usually have a high ego and think that a discussion forum is their 'channer', and they won't stand for any kind of malarkey (save for their own). The flooder is imprevious to any logic or reason and is only weak against a higher-level Admin, Nanny and Crybaby (cause she tattles). Also, Big Cats have been known to get at a Flooder's weak spot some how, although much of this remains a mystery. Big Dogs and Mee Toos have tried to copy their feline counterparts in this regard but they allow the flooder to anger them too much. CAUTION: The fabled Flooder is strong against Grammarian and Philosopher because they'll go out of their way to nitpick a lost soul that can't be saved.
Centrist and Libertarian
You might want to add 'Centrist' and 'Libertarian' to your list. 'Libertarian' could appear as a pony-tailed guy with a suit/tie and a lawyer's briefcase and 'ACLU' badge on his lapel. 'Centrist' could be pictured as standing in the middle of a road. Libertarian would be a lot like Centrist, but Libertarian wouldn't mind offending people, while Centrist would. Libertarian would defend to the death anyone's right to do anything, while Centrist would simply explain to people that they are being "too extreme". In a way, they would be like the 2 opposite polarities of 'Ideologue', alike in so many ways, yet opposite in actual views and behavior.
I ran into a particularly objectionable archetype not yet listed here on a message board: The Porninator. An ally of Perv and Strumpet, Porninator likes to dissemanate porn throughout the internet, especially where it doesn't belong.
A surprisingly common warrior, the Specialist is marginally effective in combat save in his chosen field. In that area, he approaches the level of a Kung-Fu master, deftly parrying all assualts and crushing the opposition. This knowledge may be a hobby, a career, or a current field of study. Some of the most epic conflicts occur between two specialists, often leading to Duelists. Jingoist For the Jingoist, his country can do no wrong. When his homeland is attacked, he launches a ruthless, unrelenting attack on his opponents, especially his countrymen, whom he views as traitors. His support is unwavering, for his country is far superior to all others.
Graffiti, or Dive bomber. Plasters all kinds of ignorant comments and pointless vulgarities all over the message board than dissapears and is never heard from again. Dive bomber is more likely to strike once, but Graffiti will strike under multiple different names until they are caught.
One increasingly uncommon warrior is the Sesquipedalian. Often concourent with Profundus Maximus, Sesquipedalian tends to present arguments in the largest and most obscure words available. These fighters range in strength, but they often confuse, annoy, or exasperate their opponents.
suggest Post count
You should add a flame warrior, who is just trying to increase his post count, and by doing so thinks he he can gain accetance. These are the guys i find most annoying, spammers.
A rarity the Devils Advocate is type of person that truly enjoys a good debate no matter what side he argues for. Typically he will enter into an argument to bolster the losing side, what the Devils Advocate really believes and to what degree is difficult if not impossible to discern as he could be arguing for or against any given topic at any time. The only consistency is he will almost always argue against the people that appear to have the upper hand. The Devils Advocate is often a hated opponent as
I could have sworn there was a "Tag Team" among the flame warriors. I've just witnessed this style of flames in a forum and I came here to look for it (to provide amused onlookers with the link), but I don't seem to find it. You might consider doing a "Tag Team" in the future. You know, one posts and then takes a break outside the ring and then the other posts and takes a break, and they're never both in the ring at the same time... ;)
Necromancer (the first entry with this name)
I didn't see this one proposed, but in any case: Necromancer: Usually also Newbie, this warrior revives dead threads, rarely adding anything valueable, just to increase his status in the forum. Diplomats, Nannies and Kung-Fu Masters come to change the ways of the Necromancer, usually persuading him from continue to this technique. Note that Trollers, L'Enfant Provocateur and other malicious warriors might take this form too.
Last edited by Fence Sitter on Fri Jun 02, 2006 5:14 pm; edited 1 time in total
Joined: 01 Jan 2005
I would call him 'The Godfather'. Generally a mod/admin gone bad, the Godfather is a flame warrior who sees everything - trolls, regular posters, and every flame war - as a path to personal power. The Godfather often openly lusts after the crown of the Royals, but their thuggish or ruthless nature tends to cause them to be accorded respect only out of sheer fear. The Godfather - and I can think of two who are archetypes I've seen - brooks no rivals in power. Unlike other Flame Warriors, who often ally with their kindred, Godfathers rightly perceive each other as intolerable threats and will endlessly campaign against or attack their counterparts in a forum. Godfathers generally will acquire a few loyal allies, warriors of differing kinds, and will behave in as coordinated a fashion as is possible. Much like the Cyber Sisters, picking on one member of the Godfather's group will almost certainly get a response from the rest. Once the Godfath
noname. This warrior sounds like Patois
I have recently met a Flame Warrior that was not on the list. He had a tenuous grasp of English, at best, which led to enormous misunderstandings and headaches. He might have had a desire for negative attention, he was probably a moron, and he definitely had no clue what other people were saying. At first I thought he was Stone Deaf, but then I noticed he was from Puerto Rico. When I realized that he might not be a native English speaker, and thought about his cryptic, nigh-unintelligible posts, I concluded that he was probably completely out of his depth. The fact that he persisted in stirring up flame wars confounds me.
'the schitzo' At a first glance he can appear to be a bong, but it isn't his blood/pot content that causes his fragmented thoughts and random statements, he is quite plainly insane. Most of his words are better left ignored; too deep of an analysis may cause you to question your own sanity. It is easy to mistake his nonsense as something profound, but rest assured most psychos' minds are anything but 'beautiful'. It is best to avoid association with him, as being in his clutches will result in a death that involves dismemberment and possibly digestion of at least half of your limbs; he may even decide to share it with you (if his randomly selected meal is your foot). He has the advantage of perspective, as only other schitzos are capable of his level of reasoning. Be warned that most of the assults you try to launch on him were already calculated and predicted on some level
Troll (entry April 2004 . comment by Fence Sitter. um the term has been thrown about for a donkeys age?)
A Troll is a person whose only purpose on a forum is to attempt to make other posters seem as wretched as the Troll feels. The Troll attempts to serve this purpose not by contributing to a forum in any constructive manner, but rather by stalking his intended victim. The Troll lurks underneath the forum bridge and waits for an unwary poster that seems a likely target, then attacks. The Trolls weapons of choice are usually abuse and profanity, of which are directed at the Trolls mark rather than dealing with the thread topic. Once the Trolls victim has been devoured (usually moves to a different forum and changes I.D.) and if the Troll can no longer find its former victim, the Troll moves on to the next target, until a forum becomes a wasteland of dead skeletal avatars. The Troll should be exterminated by a moderator as soon as it's prescence is known, if a moderator or Admin hopes to keep his kingdom from being devoured .
Almost forgot another Troll tactic. "The Grenade!" The troll effectively erases the forum board by continuous posting of some inane thread. The Troll does this until all other postings are listed around the 100th post mark or so, this places the Troll in the limelight, which the Troll believes it deserves, since non of the other lowlife posters on the board could hope to match the Trolls beauty. The Troll usually operates under the same manner as the Imposter.
The Strategist views the board as a chess game. He is moving the other warriors around as pieces for or against each other and modifies his battle techniques depending on his opponent. He is behind the scenes forming alliances to aid his planning. Strategist may be in it for the challenge to his intellect, a play to his good humor, or he may be a manipulator, spinning a web to trap those Warriors unaware of his game. Warriors should be advised to proceed with caution when they think they may be dealing with a cunning Strategist. He is a worthy foe and not one to be trifled with.
There are a few from fandom subculture that I don't see included. One of the most common of these would be Rabidfan. Rabidfan hangs around entertainment forums and attempts to boost the imaginary standing of her favorite actor/singer/character/show by making cutting remarks or spreading slanderous gossip about all perceived rivals. This includes implying the rivals' fans are stupid, blind, deaf, not mentally competent or all of the above. Strangely, though her behavior resembles that of a hormonally-driven teen, she is often in her forties, holds down a job, and is a respected member of her community when not online. Her power as a warrior derives from being impervious to reason and therefore unable to recognize her own defeat. Though her transparently obsessive behavior is usually good for laughs among non-rabids, beware if she should hook up with like minds and become part of a Cyber Sisters consortium. Their combined attacks have been known to drive les
An unskilled and tactless warrior who's mostly feared by those he would choose to align himself with. Unskilled and completely tactless he does nothing but make his side look bad and provide an easy target for the oposition allowing them to ignore rational arguements made by others and instead pointing out what a jackass Anchor is and therefore everyone he's sided with must be equally ignorant.
NecroPoster (comment by Fense Sitter - yep initial Necromancer suggestion, but Time Bandit is older again)
You know that guy that always brings up topics that were discussed weeks or even months ago? We call him the NecroPoster. He Always seems to post a comment on a thread thats long been dead and heat up the embers left from it into flames. A UnExpeirenced NecroPoster Usually fails and other warriors usually say somthign along the lines as "wow this is old news" and the thread soon dies agian. A Master NecroPoster Can usually bring back old flame wars and sit back as the other warriors tear themself apart ignoring him. NecroPosters Usually Dont stay on forums long.
How about one I call (for the lack of a better name) Blog Head? This guy usually takes a discussion outside the forum it originates in and rants about it on his personal site or in his blog. He will either rant both in and outside the forum, or--if he's a particularly cowardly type--will confine his rants to his personal domain rather than confront anyone directly. This guy apparently enjoys shouting to an empty room.
Here's a character I've seen on a few forums, but I don't have a good name for it. For now, I'll call it "Political Imposter." I sometimes see people pretending to be of a certain political persuasion for the sole purpose of discrediting it. For example, a conservative warrior will pretend to be liberal by saying things like "I believe trees are more important than people," or "The real reason I oppose the war in Iraq is because is because I hate America." A liberal warrior playing a conservative will post things like "I think that poor people are lazy and I don't really care if they starve." The goal is to provide easy ammunition to other players who share your real political views. They can rip apart your arguments and then assert that your views are "typical" of the side you claim to represent. (Alternately, you can do this yourself under another name.) A Political Imposter is a variation of the ordinary Imposter, distinguished because the goal is to damage your political rivals, never just to have fun or make yourself look better. The Political Imposter may be obvious, coming out immediately with over-the-top views, or he might be subtle, building up credibility over several days before making outrageous statements. As with the ordinary Imposter, the only one who can prove that someone is a Political Imposter is the Admin, if the same IP address is used for multiple personalities.
guest comment on previous suggestion
I really like the suggestions for Anchor and Political Imposter, but I would like to add to them. The traits that were described of the Political Imposter could apply to just about any issue, not just politics. So maybe a better term might be Opponant Imposter, or something like that. And, also, the Political Imposter might masquerade as Anchor to delibrately make the other side look bad.
another guest comment
Oh yes, and I have a name suggestion for Political Imposter: Double Agent.
There's a person I've encountered in one forum recently that I've given the designation "Village Idiot." Village Idiot seems superficially like Lamer or Bliss Ninny, but whose posts are so annoyingly stupid, irrelevant and off-topic you swear they are in fact a brilliant, deliberate trolling tactic, designed to drive everyone crazy. For example: in one forum, a member is discussing the Red Scare. Which prompted this response: "I agree, but it's pronounced 'Red Square.'" How does one respond to a post like that?
suggest End Play
What about those people that sit there asking questiona or just sitting there, and then suddenly hit you with hoards of things against one side, then act all smug like its the end of the arguement?
One possible Warrior who you could add would be a "Superfan," who obsessively latches on to one pop-culture figure or another (Jack Sparrow, Legolas, Buffy, Harry Potter, anime character X, etc.); this attachment is often romantic, and "Superfans" are likely to imagine the objects of their obsessions in imaginary relationships. Or something. Anyway, keep up the good work!
At first, mousetrap appears more knowledgeable or irritable than the norm, but generally stays out of flaming's way. However, when particularly annoyed (often by an opposing Issues or variant thereof), he will bait the offender into an argument with a tasty morsel of a comment. If the offender doesn't bite, Mousetrap sweetens the bait until the offender succumbs to temptation. Careful to keep the moral high ground, Mousetrap springs only once the victim has entered into a full-out argument. Mousetrap mercilessly clamps down on the offender, usually only to stop when the offender fully submits or Admin intervenes. Beware, though Mousetrap's wrath is selective, warriors never know where they stand, and Mousetrap's exceptionally rare attack is ferocious to match.
While Weenie prides himself on sensitivity, and Profundus Maximus prides himself on the appearance of intelligence, Drill Sergeant prides himself on his toughness. Every disagreement can be answered by some variant of "you have no discipline" or "if you've been through what I have, you'd see it my way," usually with some anecdote of what he supposedly learned in the trenches. In an argument, Drill Sergeant is quick to condemn Acne (for his teen-angst) and Weenie (for his sensitivity), and is closely allied with Troglodyte and Centurion. When utterly defeated verbally, Drill Sergeant is known to challenge the opponent to physical combat, and call his opponent a yellow-bellied cowardly maggot when he refuses to buy the necessary plane ticket. Drill Sergeant may or may not have an actual military background.
Torture Rack is, as the name suggests, a sadistic bastard who enjoys watching others suffer and embarrass themselves. When he has the upper hand in the argument, he will slowly tear his opponent apart, agonizingly, over a period of many posts or threads. He never seems to launch a finishing blow, but always drops hints as to the potential damage he can inflict through logic or gossip or whatever may be at his disposal, and refutes arguments slowly and often indirectly. He is known to drive members from a forum with the thinly veiled threat of airing a member's dirty laundry more than logical defeat.
Sniper: Precise, patient, and deadly, the Sniper will observe his target for hours, days, weeks, or even longer on end, gathering intelligence and sizing up his foes, determining every weak point in their logic, every chink in their armor, every advantage he can gain. Then, after he has finished sizing his foes up, he strikes swiftly, with a lightning fast and singularly devastating blow, precisely targeting the weaknesses and failings of the opposition. If the attack fails or his target survives, the Sniper retreats and readies to attack again. He's always there, watching, waiting...
General: The General is rare, but few Flame Warriors who oppose him survive his tactical and strategic wrath. General has something similar to the Kung-Fu Master, in that he is a devastating enemy that few can stand against. General's strength lies in his tactical skills and the cunning and cleverness of his arguments. He will often set up weaker and slower warriors many steps in advance, using apparent logic gaps, leading comments, and similar tricks. Once he has his foe where he wants him, General then strikes, trapping his foe in an inescapable web, where he is crrushed like a bug. Often the victim Warrior never realizes General set him up until he has already been defeated.
Vampire... somone that visits your forum in hopes of gaining new members for *their* forum... closely related to the spammer, as they employ similar tactics, but the intention is to suck the lifeblood out of a existing forum, to give life to their own twisted idea of what a forum should be... mostly because they know they could never get away with the kind of stupidity they would like to in someone elses forum.
suggest - I am So Funny
Also, what I've seen a few times on various message boards is that people will post a picture from your site and paste the text for that picture. For instance, if someone is being a Stone Deaf, someone will post the picture directly from your site and paste the description text. You should make a Warrior page describing people who do this. That way others can post this right back at them.
Evil Twins and Circle of Friends
Got a suggestion, couple variations on the Cyber Sisters. One, the Evil Twins, make idiotic comments and opinions ceaselessly, supporting and commending one another at every turn. Evil Twins are often the same person with multiple accounts, or real-life acquaintances. The Circle of Friends come as newbies, and often leave or are expelled from the forum before that title is changed. It usually starts with one of them arriving at the forum, and almost instantly inviting hordes of real-life or internet acquaintances to join them at this forum. The circle of friends band together when attacked, and often use the forum as their own private chat room, interrupting a discussion with a completely unrelated isolated conversation. When their shennanigans become too annoying for anyone to handle, the combined forces of a number of powerful authority Warriors can send them out of the forum.
Add a new flame warrior "Linker" or something similar. I've seen these warriors, mostly one or two line responses with links to another web page, usually proving their points in this way :) Just an idear.
Hey some more lables by a guest
The Ultimate B****, Cyber Devil, Evildoer, Baby Poo, Cranky Janky... Spammimator.. Keep it going.
Borrowing a bit from Andy Kaufman's old character, how about "Foreign Man?" A variation of Garble, he persistently posts in his native language, even in a strictly English language forum--or, even if he does know English, he will usually strike up a conversation with another listmember who speaks his native language, leaving the other listmembers wondering what the heck they're talking about. Such warriors are almost always invincible, because they could conceivably say anything about anyone in the forum right in front of them, without the other person being any the wiser. Profundus Maximus will sometimes resort to this tactic as well, but more to impress listmembers with his linguistic prowess than anything else.
The polar opposite of Pinko, Swastika enthusiastically embraces white supremacist and fascist ideals. Swastika intensely loathes anybody who supports progressive and egalitarian policies, and will not hesiatae to attack the offender. Swastika's own contributions to a discussion are usually rants against revisionist history, unfair portrayals of the KKK, the gradual erosion of States' Rights by imperialist Yanks, and International Jewry. Considering anybody who disagrees with him to be subhuman, he may not even bother replying to refutals. Strangely, Swastika believes that posting a picture of Der Führer or Old Dixie amounts to a logically coherent argument. Though his prowess with degrading streotypes and the German language make him seem formidable, his predictable attacks make him an easy kill for swift and agile Warriors. Swastika forms an axi
Drame Queen and Kamikaze
How about "Drama Queen?" She (sometimes it can be a he) is not an effective warrior, preferring to wait out the conflict for as long as possible before composing a long, rambling, tearfully bitter "goodbye" post to the forum before she disappears (personally, I'd just leave and be done with it). Warning--Drama Queen can be seriously disturbed, and will at times make her final post a suicide note, frightening forum members who frantically try to contact her to forestall a tragedy. She is seldom serious, however. A variation on this theme is Kamikaze--who could be any of the other warriors on the forum, even Boy Scout, but who writes such a vitriolic final attack on all listmembers that the forum is almost irreparably damaged, and he has pretty much destroyed his chance of ever returning.
Otaku knows anything and everything about Japan, Japanese culture, and Japanese cartoons and will be glad to share his knowledge whether you care or not. He will fill message boards with an endless stream of worthless anime trivia and lame-ass fan material. When attacked, Otaku will lash out furiously, but even the weakest Warriors will shrug off his puny blows. NB: Otaku may be a woman.
Out There is easily recognized due to the fact that he espouses all manner of extreme beliefs. Out There comes in left-wing (DemocraticUnderground.com members, Bush-haters, etc.) and right-wing (neo-Nazis, religious loonballs, etc.) forms, but both embrace the most batshit insane politics and dogmas imaginable. Out There is nearly invincible because he completely ignores and dismisses opposing viewpoints, no matter how brilliant and reasonable they seem in comparison to his crazy thinking.
Mega Mod is like Nanny on steroids. Mega Mod will make sure you will behave 100% perfectly
Peacock usually works alone but sometimes in pairs. Peacock is the type of person that is endlessly seeking the affection of another forum/chat member of the opposite (or even the same) sex by any means possible. He/she will stoop to any level to impress the person of their amour regardless of what the forums topic is. Anything that can be used to belittle other forum/chat members to somehow impress the one he fluffs his/her tail feathers for is fair game. Peacock also might work occasionally as a sort of "tag team" with another peacock in an effort to drown out or subdue another forum member who just happens to be interacting with their desired love target(s) Often, one peacock will pose as a troller to draw off another member while his/her tag partner steals the show from him.
There's an individual I've encountered numerous times over the years called Sigfile. Sigfile always has some insipid bumper-sticker witticism following his signature, usually the same one again and again. For Ideologues, Issues, Artistes (especially Artiste, as it is usually considered the perfect place for lines and lines of his idiotic poetry) it is their combination billboard, pulpit and personal playground. Some of these sigfile messages are clever and funny, but not on the 200th repetition.
Not really a warrior, but subclass of Target. The Billboard will usually show up, post a message or five promoting a product, and then leave. By following the link provided by a Billboard, a flame warrior may end up giving the pest some pocket change. Once identified, an entire forum may smash at a billboard until the topic is removed.
An aspiring flame warrior, One-shot possesses a very rare quality: He or she knows when they're beaten. A single post generating a flame from a veteran warrior(or even a good bluffer) can send a one-shot running for cover. Not to be confused with the lurker, as One-Shot is an active forum participant.
They take thier battles to heights like hacking and script using. Heck, from that forum and it's "past incarnations", I have seen many DBZ like battles where the admin who was an immature brats posted pics of tub-girl images and even his penis! o_o Don't worry though, the new admin is way better. Too bad I can't say the same about his colleagues. Just look around and judge for yourself. Hopefully it will inspire the writer of this site. _________________ The important thing is knowing who owns the fence
Joined: 01 Jan 2005
One possible addition to your rogues' gallery is a type that I call "Guy Smiley". This is a person who insists on saturating each and every post with smilies, .gif icons, and other such bells and whistles, to the detriment of cogent thought and fellow posters who are stuck with dialup connections. Guy Smiley also has a tendency to overrely on abbreviations like "LMAO" and occasionally uses these in inappropriate contexts, i.e. "We got six inches of snow this morning, LOL."
A warrior who, while generally nice and sweet, gives her opinion on everything and everyone, in a sublte-yet-obvious smug or judgemental tone. When angered, she will dump loads of distain and digust. Yet, when she is attacked, she whines and cries like a young child, wondering why everyone hates her and how she only wanted to talk, threatens to leave the board, writes a ten-page good bye full of confusion and remorse, how could these friends possibly betray her, so on, so forth. She'll then either leave, or disappear for a while, and then came back just like before like nothing happened, except now she bears stinging grudges. It's pointless to fight Mother-In-Law, because if you bear the emotional blackmail and wailing, she just keeps going like nothing ever happened, rendering the whole experience pointless. Eventually, the entire board might rally againt her and drive her away, or ADMIN might finally get tired of her.
Combine all the worst aspects of Nitpick, Grammarian, Profundus Maximus with a dash of Philosopher, and you have Elitist. Elitist is in love with his own vast vocabulary, but unlike the other types mentioned above, has but one argument, repeated endlessly--the culture is being dumbed down, and it's his sworn duty to keep the idiot barbarians at bay. (In other words, practically everyone else, especially his fellow forum members). He fulminates about the mass media (especially television--you'll never get him to admit to watching a program) and those who enjoy such forms of entertainment are to him beneath contempt. If you are not immediately aware of his obviously superior intellect, fear not--he'll remind you of it continually. Profundus Maximus loves him, and tries his best to emulate Elitist, to no avail. I met precisely this sort of person on a writer's forum, who for one had claimed he had invented an entirely new genre of literature, completely unlike the repetitive semiliterate trash currently on the market. Of course, l
The flip side of the Evil Clown coin, just as ready with a joke as his alter ego but with a pureness of motive to match the Eagle Scout, the Entertainer has but one goal in life: to increase the amount of happiness in the world. Although it is sometimes possible to achieve this goal by staying on topic, a lot of the time this means delving into the realm of Offtopicness. The Entertainer is quick to latch on to any scrap of humour in a post, and he can force a thread into the land of Off Topic faster than anyone except the Artful Dodger. Although he can be annoying, he is generally tolerated by Nanny and Admin because, when on topic, he's just as helpful as Eagle Scout, and even when off topic, he at least tries to keep things interesting. The Entertainer is a moderately powerful adversary; it can be difficult to flame someone when your posts keep coming back at you in the form of anecdotes and silly jokes. And if all
I'd like to suggest a flame warrior I've recently battled against: Fangirl. Some forums are dedicated to the discussion of certain 'fandoms', a place where the fans of one certain videogame/book/movie/TV show/etc can get together and talk about it. Here is the place where you can find a fangirl, who very rarely exists elsewhere, except for the web-shrines they make. A fangirl is a very devoted fan to some aspect of a fandom, be in a character, or a couple, or whatever, but holds it so close to heart it borders on obsession. They will exploit even the slightest opportunity to deliver at length why their favorite character/coupling/etc is so wonderful, even creating topics of their own to serve that purpose. These long essays are mostly based on flimsy facts, twisted interpretation, and the fact that
Next entry. Fangirl: A fangirl is a very devoted fan to some aspect of a fandom (ex: a character) but holds it so close to heart it borders on obsession. They will exploit even the slightest opportunity to deliver at length why their favourite (x) is so wonderful. These long essays are mostly based on flimsy facts, twisted interpretation, and the fact that 'almost everyone' supports them. A brave warrior may attempt to debate with them or point out their flawed reasoning, but fangirl will respond with fanatical resolve, and will bring her Cyber Sister friends to join in. It usually takes a Nanny or Admin to pull the plug on these long, tireless debates, because fangirls are willing to fight to the death and are utterly unmoveable from their position. She's like a Tireless Rebutter, Artful Dodger, Cyber Sister, and Athiest all rolled into one. Fearsome, yes?
Here's one; Smiley. There are those that think every disparaging comment, insult, or remark is made OK by punctuating their sentences with crude ideograms, and they are also known to attempt to provoke warriors by signalling their feeble jokes and attempts at irony with smileys. Although they've turned a crutch for the hard-of-writing into a weapon, even unwittingly, they're all just idiots. :) :) :)
CEWhoa This webmaster has dreams. He wants world peace and believes it can be attained in his lifetime, if people would just like, stop fighting. He posts daily about his ambitions to change the Internet world forever, but... just... hasn't done anything yet, 'cause it's just so hard to get started... Is it a coincidence that CEWhoa was born in the 1960's? Probably not. Unfortunately, this webmaster is beyond redemption. While he'll constantly tell you about his wonderful plans and post about his mildly entertaining, slightly stupefying misconceptions about the inner goodness of all people, don't expect him to stick to his promises if they involve actual work. WARNING: Whatever CEWhoa is on, it keeps him very happy. When it runs out, woe to the unfortunate netizin bugging this administrator for a favor.
Often a sub-set of the Artiste, these people are utterly convinced that they are a fairy/witch/elf/dragon/whatever and no amount of logic, reasoning, flaming or just plain telling them to drop the act will get them to abandon this, even in hopelessly off topic situations, where their beliefs merely make them look like morons (Did you know the whole concept of 'logic' is actually a masculine facist plot to destroy female spirituality forever, seriously this is an actual argument I've heard more than once). These people are usually exclusive to fantasy forums, and thus don't get a lot of fame, but can be as infuriating as any Deacon if their (vaguely neo-pagan, often in the most pretentious possible way) beliefs are ever called into question.
"Grandpa" is a missing flame warrior. He's Toxic Granny's companion and he rails on about the old times, the depravity of today's youth, the Great Depression, WWII, fishing, his golf game, etc. etc. and tries to gain the upper hand in battle by starting off with "Back in the old days......."
Bunny Hopper: an elusive breed of warrior, and perhaps one of the hardest to defeat for one reason: they couldn't care less. They jump from forum to forum without the slightest inclination to follow up on their posts. What they actually do contribute may be completely valid-- or it may derail the subject entirely. The Bunny Hopper will never know. It's almost as if he treats the Internet as a hobby, or something.
Always on the lookout for Newbies and other weaklings, the Gatekeeper is the threshold between newcomers and regulars. Not particularly a strong warrior, but usually one with tenure or a strong relationship with the Admin. If a newcomer can withstand an onslaught by the Gatekeeper, he is usually welcomed by other, more regular members. Afterward, the newcomer may be shown the Gatekeeper's true image of the Xenophobe or Big Dog.
suggest Amine Fan
But I think you've missed out on an entire cyber-subculture. The whole Japanese/Anime thing!! You could easilly spoof that type of person that adds ^^, and ^_^ and >^.^< after every sentence, and usually has a Japanese username despite them not being Japanese. :/ Ganbatte Reed-San! ^_^
I think I visited it once before, and didn't there used to be a category called Waffler? It seems to have gone, which is a shame because it pretty well described me...
On the post-a-warrior front, I endorse someone else's suggestion of CELEBRITY. Take a look at HowardForums, www.howardforums.com , and you'll see what we're on about: Howard Chui is a real forum celeb, and even though I've never seen anyone engage him in battles, well, you never know! Besides I think there are other forum celebs out there. Now there's a suggestion!
suggested Civil Libertarian
I don't have the name (you come up with it), but this warrior always touts "freedom of speech" when admin tells them to coll down or back off. Any attempt to control language, to stop attacks and to maintain order is viewed as a violation of their constitutional rights.
followup comment by guest
As an Admin, I've run into this type a lot, so I'll second this poster's motion:
Call him the Civil Libertarian -- the one who thinks moderation of any sort is censorship, and screams loudly if list rules are enforced. He will eventually move on from any moderated forum; he's only effective when he's free to flame, spam, push a favorite off topic, argue about moderating decisions, or otherwise break the rules most moderated sites have. I'll emphasize here that I'm not picking on any *one* particular person -- I've seen several of this type, and the actual forbidden weapons they use will vary, as I just mentioned. One of these days, I'll have to open up a completely unmoderated list, and ignore it completely, just to scotch the rumors that I'm a nasty old censor. Watching the flamers flame is less of a headache than being obligated to keep them civilized! :-) Enjoy your site very much, btw.
suggest Wants In.
Here's the scoop, you're a regular poster on a forum, a positive contributor. A fan club or some other form of adoration is created within the forum and someone who rarely posts in said forum and might even have made a degratory comment in the past all of a sudden wants to be a part in the fan club even though they don't contribute within that part of the forum. There has to be a name for these jerks!
Hey, wheres the most formitable of all Flame Warriors? The Ninja! every forum has a Ninja! They are much like Kung Fu Warriors only too secret and super to catch!
just to elaborate on the Ninja: The Ninja: Always a beloved member of a forum community yet no one knows anything about him. So secretive is he, that people still regard him highly...Ninja is often portrayed as Royals. Ninja usually has a secret identity and sometimes is indeed the Admin. Ninja has never shown a picture of himself, revealed his name, or anything truly personal. However Ninja may reveal his identity to Chosen Ones, Ents, and Royals. However Ninja will swear them to secrecy at all costs! Never reveal the Ninja's true identity or else, Hell is to pay! Ninja also knows everything about everything and is also a consort to the Celebrity. also another one:
The Most Honored of All Warriors. Usually the member that is indeed what the forum is about. The bosom buddy of the Ninja (usually). However, The Celebrity can make even the Admin and Kung Fu Master back down with their tails between their legs. One discouraging word from the Celebrity can make the forum crash and burn into smoldering rubble. Upon
Twist and Shout
but I do have an addition to suggest. I call her (it's been my experience that this warrior is most often female) "Twist and Shout." Her favorite tactic is to take quotes from other warriors out of context or grossly distort them to mean something that was never said. No matter how often she is corrected, or by whom, she will stand by her original distortion, and repeat it as often as needed, in order to distract her opponent from the issues at hand in order to defend their online reputation, often lashing out viciously against her. This tactic is effective against all but the sturdiest of warriors, particularly insecure types like Weenie, Fragile Femme and Tiny Yapper. Cagier versions of Twist and Shout can often goad her victims into such an uncontrollable frenzy that they will blatantly violate the forum rules, forcing Nanny to eject them from the forum. Twist and Shout is especially dangerous when allied with the Cyber Sisters, who often join in the taunting. With that suggestion, I'd like to als
The post-whore absolutely has to say something about everything, sometimes replying to messages with simple smilies or the occasional "LOL". When interested in the finer points of the post ask the post-whore to clarify the comments, or to elaborate, he can either be nowhere to be found or in your face with a long list of senseless messages. Frequently, the post-whore will reply to a message in several successive replies to cloud the forum. The inner-drive of the post-whore is either ignorance or a desire to attain a post-count of 100,000 posts in one month.
Much like Eagle Scout in the general idea of how the Internet community works, but with one slight but significant difference: he is totally aware of the evil on the Internet, and will stop at nothing to crush it beneath his mighty sword. In short, an Eagle Scout with bloodlust. Anyone who starts degrading the forum (Jerk, Evil Clown) will be the sole focus of all his/her pent-up rage and aggression. How powerful this attack may be is variable, but will not think twice before smiting the evil before him! Or at least what he/she thinks is evil...
"HOPELESS-ROMANTIC is a relantionship obsessed person. (Most of the time male.) Most of the time he can be found writing stories or poems in honor of some other forum member, or giving compliments out like an outlet sale. Rarely will HOPELESS-ROMANTIC engage in a flame war, unless ofcourse the "love of his life" is in said flame war and no matter what the heated debate is about he will side with her. He or she also gos into a quick insult if he or she is in the middle of talking to thier beloved on a topic (As "thier beloved" is so special they don't have to keep thier discussions private..) and someone posts to them or interupts their discussion at hand. HOPELESS-ROMANTIC is as the name implies hopeless in combat and romantic obsessed. EVIL CLOWN likes to toy with him or her and THERAPIST is cu
suggest Ego Prosaic
. The only possible missing person is the one who usually acts like a grunter, but has ridiculously large attached phrases after their message as a “signature.” They don’t seem to exhibit a huge ego as a knowledgeable anything-artist, blowhard, etc, but the messages are usually protracted quotes that make no sense in regards to the forum. Sample entry: “Hi ______ the art of war is won by a single decision on the battle front…(blah, blah, blah, four inches of unrelated text)…oh, and I like “ .” ______Oh, and I guess I’m a different breed of newbie than your chart holds-I read the forum to try to figure out the rules, but occasionally I mask a really ignorant question.
I had an idea for a warrior. People like me flame for a little while, but quickly get bored and move on to another peaceful topic. As a result of not fighting a lot, we aren't proficient warriors. You could call them "ADD" or "short attention span".
How about "Conscience" for a new one? He or she is almost always willing to be in line with the politics of the admins and royals, and is never tempted or swayed by rebel leaders. He or she can be any of the other types, most notably boy scout and nanny. However, conscience fears corruption and unfairness, and should they suspect the admin or royals are practicing either of those, they will quickly join the ranks of the rebels and reveal themselves to be one of the strongest warriors on the battlefield. While up to that point they may have been percieved as a weak mee-too or sycophant, when in full flight they reach almost godzilla-like proportions, and their good relations with other warriors ranging from the weakest little garble to the biggest, strongest nanny from peacetime is often the decisive factor in flame wars.
Demons - These can both be with or ageinst the Admin, they are generaly quick to sarcastic comments and are allways fit for fight, they are in two alliances either with Nanny, Royals and Admins ... or with Rebel Leder and Godzilla They never flee from battle and the only one there can fight them are Admins and very Strong Rebel Leaders
This Warrior, although he rarely participates in battles himself beyond the slightest involvement, is a respected and feared adversary. His strategy consists of surrounding himself with a cloud of Sycophants and Little Yappers and a strong corps of like-minded Warriors, and them unleashing them all in a coordinated attack. While the assaults themselves are often indistinguishable from an atack by the Swarm, it is Napoleon's talent for careful planning that sets him and his army apart.
Do you have one for coffee klatschers who dominate and overrun msg boards? Like, 100s of posts to one or two of everyone else's, usually off-topic, or cat commentary, plush pet collector cutesy stuff, email type usage, and commentary on other posters (usually derisive). Usually one particularly abrasive, argumentative type is the group heroine, the others defer out of fear of her lashings. I call them 'haghags', macho *asexual women who behave outrageously toward those who don't worship the reigning hag, all the while claiming to believe the current victim to be capable of the same type of behavior they themselves display with vigor. They justify their attacks retroactively, in other words, once the new victim lashes back, that behavior is used as justification for the original and subsequent attempted annihilation of the victim's character. *They often attack men, and women who are sympathetic or attractive to men. Anyone whom they disagree with
Vulture hovers over the battlefield for hours, even days, watching but never contributing. Once a clear loser has emerged, however, he swoops down and starts picking at the corpse. His attacks are usually flames or demands that the victim should be banned. Vulture is sometimes mistaken for Me-Too, but unlike Me-Too, Vulture never participates in combat, preferring to let others do his dirty work while he waits for his chance to kick another warrior while he's down. Vultures prefer to attack forum members who are already disliked--his favorite opponent by far is Target, and is unlikely to attack a powerful warrior like Big Dog even if he did lose a debate. He sometimes flatters himself into thinking he's a great warrior, but even Me-Too thinks Vulture is a coward and useless in battle.
Wannabe desparately wants to be a big shot, and will do anything to fit in with the ruling clique in a forum. Wannabe usually is a relative newcomer, though he could be a longtime member who was simply never accepted by the Royals as one of their own. Wannabe's opinions are carefully tailored to match the forum's prevailing mood, and he carefully avoids combat with more powerful forum members (though Wannabe is quick to join a Lynch Mob or a Swarm if someone threatens the forum's ideological purity). Wannabes are intensely jealous of whatever status they do have and delight in pushing around newbies--many of them are, in fact, shameless bullies. Wannabe is always a Sycophant and usually a Me-Too or a Vulture as well. Sadly, his efforts to become an elite cause the elite to despise him. Wannabe will forever be on the outside looking in.
comment by guest
Wannabe was good. I wanted to add that wannabe will try to join an E-Gang for protection from bigger, stronger warriosr.
Lynch Mob: Sometimes mere humilitation isn't enough for a particularly reviled forum member. Sometimes, the mob wants blood, and if this happens a Lynch Mob can form. Lynch Mobs typically demand that the target of their ire be punished somehow by Admin, usually by banning, though in extreme cases they may try to enlist Propeller Head to attack their victim directly. Lynch Mobs usually form when a particularly persistant and unlikable warrior is beset by multiple powerful warriors. As more and more warriors jump onto the pile, it eventually draws out all the forum's lowest elements: Rat, Wannabe, Vulture, Sycophant, et cetera. Eventually, the mob of lowlifes will get hungry for blood, and the more powerful warriors who've done most of the real work are too exhausted or too disgusted to stop it (they might, in fact, decide the mob is right). Once a Lynch Mob forms, any member can be drawn into it. Only the stoutest Admins are able to resist the demands of a large enough Lynch Mob, and if the Mob is big enough and riled enough
Here's a Warrior I think that should be added, but whatever. Disgruntled Mom: "This warrior usually invades a message board after looking into their children's internet history, they will then proceed to insult everyone's morals, call the website evil, and rant on and on, even if the site has no questionable subject, she will find something. She is a powerful warrior, but luckily she usually leaves quickly."
I think you need to add the "Race Warrior". The guy who thinks every little thing is racist and is always so quick to pull the race card and play the victim.
How about Link Whore (or something more clever)--Like Gilderoy Lockhart, she is always suggesting that, for full details, you should check her published works. With this is an article or essay, a journal rant, a private message, or a piece of fiction matters not at all--whatever you're discussing, she's already discussed it elsewhere, at length. The tactic moves the war to a different front, one where Link Whore is at a distinct advantage.
Bitter and Twisted
How about 'bitter and twisted'? Bitter and Twisted is so consumed by some past slight, real or imagined, that he constantly broods over it until it becomes so much a part of his psyche that he is unable to see beyond it. Often this predicament was so long in the past and of such marginal importance in the long term that the original source of Bitter and Twisted's problem is long forgotten. Despite having a deep and abiding commitment to the community, Bitter and Twisted finds comfort and solace in tormenting those members he judges to be in some way responsible for his predicament... and anyone who may be standing near them. And anyone who happens to catch him on a bad day. Or a good day. Bitter and Twisted is difficult to predict - he can be a productive member of a community one day, and become indistinguishable from the Jerk on another. Key opponents are often Admin, Nanny and Royals, but depending on the day almost any Flame Warrior can be assaulted by Bitter and Twisted without provocation.
You may be familiar with me since I suggested Caffienator, Nolife and Poser as new Warriors. The Nonconformist. Extremely common on entertainment of lifestyle forums, Nonconformist hates everything mainstream with a poisonous loathing, and attacks anyone who likes whoever's being played on the radio or playing at the movie theater, and tries with all his/her ability to get EVERYONE to like the most unknown and obscure in anything. One of Nonconformist's most effective attacks would be to call a mainstreamer a Poser, but in reality, many Nonconformists are really Posers in disguise, so it's difficult to tell if these species of Warriors really exists.
Teamster and Straw Boss.
A couple you might have already thought of are "Teamster," and "Straw Boss." Teamster is a die-hard Union poster, and management can do no right. They have remembered every slight from every employer, and will never let anyone forget it, especially themselves. Straw Boss is management's boy, and Organized Labor is the bane of America, and marks the end of civilized life in this country. He's convince Teamster is lazy, stupid, and incompetent. Perhaps it takes one to know one, as you said.
A suggestion of my own for a Warrior: The Judge (as in Dredd)... If the Admin is a Nanny on steroids, then the Judge is the Admin from hell. He (the Admin is generally male) rules the Board/List with an iron fist. Those who dare to challenge the Judge are swiftly Banned, without warning. Thus, those who generally provoke and start flame wars become bitter enemies of judges. Trollers and L'Enfants Terribles tend to take the judges on more frequently, and fight them bitterly, usually using dummy e-mail accounts to regain membership as soon as they have been banned. Anyhoo, keep up the good work!
How about the Booter? He/she is a chat warrior who will simply try to boot more capable warriors from the field of battle. If successful he/she will have run of the field. This gets done to Rottweiler Puppy, an inexperienced Eagle Scout, or any body else who may get in the Booter's way,.
suggest - Mime.
I love your site! One of the most satirical and ingenious things I have ever seen! However, I think I have one to add: Someone, who on forums, abuses the *insert action here* thing. Every single post has something like *sits in corner* or *slaps you*...anyway, great job, man.
The Topic Rut.
The Topic Rut is similar to Issues in a way that they become very heated about an issue: but only one thing. Elusive, and often hiding under the guise of a normal forum user, the Topic Rut can unleash a wave of fury when provoked. Be it homosexuality, Republicanism, or religion, the Topic Rut hovers around the forums, waiting to pounce on unsuspecting prey.
This flame warrior takes every opportunity to loudly extol the superiority of the Beatles over any other artist in popular music. Beatlemaniac is extremely rigid in his belief that no other artist can even come close to touching the Beatles and carries an intense hostility and contempt towards any Warrior who who dares to express any dislike for the Beatles whatsoever (even if it's expressed in a very polite manner). This Flame Warrior can be found on any message board that relates to music, entertainment, debates, personal interests, or general chat. And, in all fairness, I will also mention the Beatlemanic's polar opposite, the Beatlephobe. The Beatlephobe has a huge aversion against the Beatles and finds the Beatles to be highly overrated. The Beatlephobe is quick to address his dislike for the Beatles anytime a Beatles-related topic comes up. The Beatlephobe is also a favourite target of Beatlemaniac. The Beatlephobe is somewhat more rare than
And, in all fairness, I will also mention the Beatlemanic's polar opposite, the Beatlephobe. The Beatlephobe has a huge aversion against the Beatles and finds the Beatles to be highly overrated. The Beatlephobe is quick to address his dislike for the Beatles anytime a Beatles-related topic comes up. The Beatlephobe is also a favourite target of Beatlemaniac. The Beatlephobe is somewhat more rare than the Beatlemaniac, but they do still exist. If a message board is occupied by both a Beatlemaniac *and* a Beatlephobe, these Flame Warriors are more than likely to become duelists.
JapanaFan - Accounting for 12% of Japan's economic intake, this warrior, at the expense of his uninterested peers, will forever be talking about ANYTHING that has to do with Japanese music, cartoons, or fads. He embraces nothing from his own culture except for the money he takes from his parents to buy Hundreds of dollars worth of "Hello Kitty" T-Shirts and any 5-minute tape that ends with a "Made in Japan" disclaimer. JapanaFan will find ANY forum, secure a base of operations, and will soon start inviting all of his friends since they were recently kicked out of their home board. The immediate subject of the board is of no consequence since so many boards now carry a Misc section, which is where A Japanafan and all of his followers can draw their power and claim their stake. All warriors who lack a
"Count Postcount" - Like an electronic vampire, the Count rises daily from his cyber-coffin with only one mission in life. To completely drain the life of a forum by swamping it with his endless blather, driving all others away. A frim believer in quantity over quality, much of the Count's contributions are pointless, misinformed, or illegible garbage that never stays on topic. He may even resort to simply posting emoticon responses or short "LOL!" phrases over and over again. WHen backed into a corner by other warriros, he uses his total postcount to defend his "senior" position. Disabling said postcount features or instituting flood control is usualy the stake-in-the-heart for the Count, and he'll depart for fresh victims elswhere. "Napoleon" - Napoleon sees it as his destiny to rise to be the leader of a given forum, and woe
Though he may hold some traits of any number of flame warriors, the essential nature of a Cockroach is buried in his name: anything short of the end of the world, he will still be around. Even after a thermonuclear flame war leaving the forum decimated and barren, the Cockroach will crawl out from underneath a cupboard and return. He just doesn't go away. Some theorize The Cockroach as the ultimate form of the Rottweiler Puppy, more tenacity than anything else... while others theorize that he is a slightly-stunted Royal, too stupid or obnoxious or annoying to ever quite be blue-blood... but just as established. He's been there forever and pretty much will always be. At first glance, The Cockroach may appear to be a Netiquette Nazi or a Eagle Scout but upon scratching the surface... he's been in far too many scrapes than to ever be those creatures. The Cockroach maintains its existence by ultimately respecting only one warrior The Admin... because they are the only one who could ever get him to
another guest ommenting about Agent
About the Agent, they are actually very common on message boards for unofficial band fansites. Most of the ones I have seen were on Radiohead, Interpol, and Supergrass message boards. And there is very little doubt they were falsely accused because they have said "Hi, I'm an intern at Universal music and at my job I hear a lot of rad new bands..." and the bands the agents were promoting are a completely different set than Radiohead, Supergrass, and Interpol fans will listen to. Usually whiny nu-metal commercial shit or incongruous things like latter day Guns 'n' Roses. Once, we even got an agent that quoted a member of Limp Bizkit about how file sharing is killing the record industry and good music. They usually start one or two threads and never come back. They are the suckers of Satan's cock. Another character is the culture or indie rock snob. Different from the Artist in that they rarely produce work of their own and if they do, aren't offended if it gets bashed. They scoff at or simply reject the vast majority o
Comment about Agent
When reading about "Agent" I got to thinking that "Agent" himself is probably very rare. What is common is people accused of being "Agent" if the regulars in a forum are especially paranoid. One example is on some "fat acceptance" forums, those who are critical of some of their positions are accused of being shills for the "evil diet industry" or the classic belief among spammers that those opposed to spam are members of the "Lumber Cartel" who want to protect paper junk mail. Another thing I have noticed is that it's also common for some people to pretend to be a whole bunch of people ie "sock puppets" in order to make others think their position is popular. On Usenet it's easy to spot sock puppets by looking at header information but it's harder on web based forums where only the mods have access to the originating IP addresses. I wouldn't be surprised if "Cyber Sisters" wasn't in fact one person on many forums.
If any additions were to be made, I would suggest a religious woman with strong opinions, who knows NOTHING about any current events, government actions, constitution, historical events, or anything else, yet offers her opinion on every subject. She is a flag waving, god fearing patriot, and all homosexuals, atheists, and people who disagree with her should be executed or worse. The word "should" appears in every post. That could be her name - SHOULD. When harrassed, Should goes ballistic, using every vicious insult she can dream up, including accusations of perversion, serial criminal activity, or any distasteful villain she can think of. Should often possts several times in a row, as she thinks up new additions to her blather. She often edits her own posts. Should misinterprets every attack, twists every statement, pleads with the moderator to shut the forum
Joined: 01 Jan 2005
:::::The start of Jan 2004 above and below is Dec 2003::::
suggest Admiration Overclocker
You should invent a Warrior for those tweens who got to forums about the new "cutest" guy and post comments like "I think Legolas is soooo cute!!!. And there are the people who overuse emoticons.
This variant of the Admin retains the Admin's powers but not his status. The Admini-Me usually decides to start his own forum apart from a pre-existing forum, but finds that he is not quite up to the job as the likes of Jerk and Evil Clown follow him to test him on the rules. In other words, he's Target with superpowers. He gets very little respect, but those who taunt him should be forewarned - he still has admin powers, and sometimes has built up a few powerful allies from sheer goodwill. He could block you, close the forum, or sic his old pal Kung Fu Master after you.
The 5000+ posts
The 5000+ post's. This guy is sometimes a royal, troller or even a nanny, basically what he does is respond to every post, in every discussion forum regardless if he has anything interesting at all to contribute, eventually it becomes second nature to expect a 5000+ post in the thread. Some Newbies are awed bye his post count and regard him as a royal, but usually he's just a spammer with too much time on his hands
The Lost Mind.
This person is driven by one thing - to find an intellectual position to crush other Flame Warriors with. Almost only found on politics and philosophy discussion forums, he eagerly picks up an outlook, starts a fight, defends it to the death. Like ice, he stays solid defending his position and tears apart his opponents with logic as best he can - but if he loses, he turns into water, adopts a new idea that covers the previous faults and starts again. A true nomad, it is highly doubtful he'll ever find a home, but sometimes the walk is better than the destination. Intelligent and wielding near bulletproof logic, there is always the chance another Lost Mind will be lurking in the shadows to tear him apart. If not, the Lost Mind is never complacent - if he finds a better position, he will tear apart his old one in front of the mass of forumites, to their horror and confusion. - I'm one of these people and I know three others.
1337 and Kewl
No mention of the "1337" or "Kewl"? This flame warrior works closely with the Propellerhead and Troglodyte and lives in techie forums. He often posts malicious "code" but also speaks only in a jumble of numbers and letters such as "i r 73h 1337357 h4x0r 3v3r!!!!1111 J00 5ux0r!!11". Often confused with the Kewl. Kewls act like the 1337 but do not know any sort of script or code. They might pretend to but are quickly identified by their use of AlTeRnAtInG CaPs and SHOUTING. They might just be misunderstood individuals who just does not see why people hate him or her so much.
Suggestion: "Emoticons" Emoticons rarely has much to say, but replies to many threads with merely a smily face or someone else's photoshopped image. An extreme frustration to some warriors and a mere nusiance to others, Emoticons is usually just a Net Rat or Archivist. I'd also like to second the Photocopier suggestion below. I see that on tech forums all the time.
Sometimes a Lurker, sometimes an active and productive member of the forum, this Warrior never deliberately starts a brawl. However, if an entertaining battle seems to be winding down, he will immediately launch a minor attack at one of the more excitable Warriors, Issues being a favorite target, in order to keep the fun going.
Instead of responding with their own commentary, pastes lengthy articles, often the same article over and over again, in response to any thread that is remotely related to the article he is pasting. Often allied with ideologues and xenophobes, usually makes his mess in threads started eagle scouts.
Guardians of the Faith:
Always on the alert for signs of 'disloyalty', and is quick to make accusations of such and try to administer corrective treatment to those he thinks is disloyal. Often a member/leader of Coffee Klatch or The Swarm, depending on the perceived type of 'disloyalty'.
Ridicules those who are having technical difficulties related to either forum software or the entity to which the forum is attached. Often responds to requests for technical help but doesn't actually have any helpful suggestions.
Frequently posts stories/advice from relatives (usually a parent), which he takes as gospel, regardless of anything anyone else says, or any contradictions with other things he says.
Appears as a normal, congenital poster-until someone touches on that one subject which is his 'funny bone', at which point he turns into a flaming, raging madman, throwing out relentless personal insults and ad-hominem attacks. This mode lasts until the other posters get past the shock of the change-over and begin replying to his posts in kind, at which point he then declares himself to be 'finished discussing the subject' and vanishes.
Most commonly found in technical conferences. Posts his homework assignments and says "This has to be ready by Tuesday." Attacks those who offer help when he finds that help irrelevant, inadequate or incomplete. The universe OWES him a tidy, timely answer to any question he may ask.
Bird With a Broken Wing:
This person ALWAYS reacts to every challenge like a bird who feigns a broken wing to lure the predator away from the nest. The technique is to change the subject away from whatever was being discussed, in political forums, usually to some variant of Clinton's penis. The new topic need have no relation whatsoever to the original poster's.
The Misunderstood Intellect.
This rare flamer might be the smartest person on the forum, and can outwit everyone, unfortunatly he cannot really express himself, and therefor nobody understands him, or his posts look like complete and utter gibberish, making any attempt useless. He is mostly ignored and done away with because nobody really understands the guy or any of his posts. Sometimes mistaken for the therapist or the philosopher. Hated by no-one, and doesn't really have any allies, nobody understands him, or even makes an attempt to do so. Warning: might be to smart for his own good
The predator is an experienced warrior, who avoids contact with other experienced warriors, but instead likes to completely trash inexperienced and extremly unskilled warriors.
One shot lighter.
This is a warrior who knows how to write extremly good opening post, but then are completely incapable of any form of response, when anyone goes on to debuke some of his arguments.
The fence sitter.
The fence sitter pretends to be neutral in a debate, often offering points on both sides. Then once the debate has stalemated, comes in and tips the balance by offering his wise "unbiased" opinion.
The motive ascriber:
This person will accuse those who disagree as having the basest possible motives. If you are in favour of school lunches, it is so children will be more appealing to molest.
Mr. Ad Hominem
This person always completely ignores the contents of the post and launches a personal attack. It can be as innocent as a quotation of an unrelated controversial thing the person once said, to a string of obscenities, but most commonly just bald assertions of moronitude.
suggest - Obvious Imposter
I think there could be room for a subclass of Imposter, for those people who are so bad at it they are immediately recognized yet keep making new identities and honestly unable to fathom why their disguise isn't working. The art and the descriptions on this site are fantastic. I hope you will keep at it and expand it even more. THANK YOU
One more character for you -- the torrent. Here is a guy who types 200 WPM with a DSK keyboard or has speech to text, and comments on 90% of the posts. Even when he posts interesting material, it can be too much of a good thing.
Most commonly in political topics, no matter what is being discussed will say something about Clinton's Penis. Or in some scientific conference will turn every discussion around to their pet crackpot theory.
You need the "Invaders". People from another group who rush a forum, usually acting like an extreme form of L'enfant provocteur and troglodyte. They usually dont last very long due to quick action of the other flame warriors.
The Political Correctness Police Officer.
These guys find an innocuous statement or nickname in a discussion on say, online gaming or outdoor camping, and totally misinterpret it and twist its meaning to something out of context to what the original poster meant. They then jump into the thread and pounce on the unsuspecting victim, accusing them of all sorts of horrible misdeeds like sexism, racism, anti-semitism, etc. This, of course, provokes a caustic reaction and derails an otherwise good discussion into a flame-fest. An example would be from my early forays into internet forums back in the mid-90s. I chose my online nickname as Joe Camel out of amusement at the furor going on around then about that particular advertising. I was in a great discussion on 28kps modems that were popular at the time and this idiot jumps in accusing me
The Shift-key Breaker:
This Flame Warrior Feels The Need To Capitalise Every First Letter Of Every Word, Even Conjunctions. This makes his posts difficult to read sometimes, and when posting capitals-sensetive material, he often still keeps up his trait. This drives Nitpick utterly crazy, and sometimes even Grammarian will jump into the fray.
This warrior seldom provokes or enters a fight without a strong motive, normally being the one there to actually help people. His abilities of perception projection allows Gemini to understand almost any problem. Gemini doesn't just seem to, Gemini DOES understand. CAUTION: Be careful when attacking a gemini though, as understanding as they are, their perception projection gives them the perfect point for a flame-ending backstab. (Insert split picture of "Gemini" at terminal on left side, "Person" on the right side, with a ghostly image of "Gemini" behind him)
Adam may have founded the website or created the idea upon which the forum is based, regardless, he is the most ancient resident of the community. Adam rarely visits anymore, and his sporadic appearances are marked by the annoying fawning of newer residents who have only heard of him. He may chastise troublemakers, but only the most suicidal will engage him in battle, as the collective might of the forum will surely spring to Adam's defense and crush the offender.
How about the Jousters? These warriors enjoy (often openly) going after each other over some topic (often sports), but unlike the Duelists, there is usually no real animosity - they may even be allies against a common foe. WARNING: Should Jousters get too heavily into a war, they may in fact become Duelists.
How about loudhailers? People who spend their entire input greeting incoming members without saying anything else: eg: bigdave: but postmodernism really is the literary equivalent of entropy (benny12 enters discussion) sillycow7: hi benny12 benny12: hi sillycow7 lazymum: hi. No, I can't agree; its a productive concept that regenerates itself (supertroll5 enters discussion) sillycow7: hi supertroll5 benny12: hi supertroll5 supertroll5: hi sillycow7 supertroll5: hi benny12 sillycow7: hi benny12: hi and so on ad infinitum. pisses me off something else: or those who carry on a private conversation off topic with absolutely no reguard to the thread, without taking any notice of the pleas of others to shut up or get IM. Ugh.
Yogi-he belives he's developed psychic powers thru years of meditation and can guess what someone will write before its even posted. He may also try to manipulate what others post thru use of mindcontrol powers.
suggest The Basics
A wonderful site... though my pet hate, which I don't think is covered, is the kind of person who doesn't realise that nearly everyone else is more knowledgeable than they, and responds to highly specialised queries with boring outlines of the basics that any eejit could have found in the FAQ.
He always avoids direct confrontation not out of fear but to avoid getting his hands dirty. He prefers to manipulate and position other warriors for a deathmatch that will neutralize all his ideological opponents. When desperate, he has enough audacity to lure a Godzilla into his scheme, knowing full well the consequences and oberseving the misery with a satisfied smile from the shadows...
I had an "unofficial" class to add. "Second Guessers"...these are usually former royals who fell out of favor are ex-mods/admins. They watch everything that the mods and admins do. They just try to incite a swarm to attack and disrupt the forum to cause trouble...just because they feel slighted.
The Quote Roper Quote:
Some guy said... ... Quote: Somebody else replied ... ... Quote: Yet another person quoted the reply to the original post ... ... ... Quote: (insert smiley face here because somebody found it funny) ... ... ... ... Quote: the guy who quoted the entire reply of smiley-face guy, then added their own smiley face.. More advanced Quote Ropers will quote every single point in their opponents argument. Two Quote Ropers engaged in battle will often incite The Swarm to attack them both.
Vikings are like like a cross between L'Enfant Provocateur and Troller, only much much worse. Vikings invade boards in hordes to destroy forums and drive the participants away. Berserk and remorseless, Orcs destroy everything in their path. Most flamewarriors cannot stop them: Kung-Fu Masters, Profundi Maximi, Composts, Big Dogs, and more are brutally shoved aside in the Vikings' mad bloodlust. However, when Admin and Nanny join the battle, Vikings flee--their vicious assaults are no match for the banhammer. They usually target special-interest boards, invading them and disrupting normal conversation, then withdrawing before the hammer falls. Words are not the Vikings' only weapon--often they use offensive or pornographic images to wreak havoc and drive board denziens into a foaming fury.
If every post he makes is responded to by "WTF?!" you may have found this warrior. A dead giveaway is compound-complex 78-word sentence in Esperanto involving three in-jokesand an all-but untraceable leap of logic, placed in an all-but unreadable word order, in an effort to simultaneously defend abortion, gay rights, assembly language, and El Goonish Shive, while attacking Bill Clinton, gun control, and the death penalty. This warrior is often mistaken for Profundus Maximus, Pithy Phrase, Loopy, or Target before people realize that he is, in reality, all of these and a little more. Most run from this warrior, but he will continue his fierce assault until people start responding. Soon, people get used to his insanity. And then one day, he simply...dissapears.
This warrior seems to have a story for every occasion. Other warriors will sometimes sit around just to listen to the stories he tells. Often, they involve his exploits outside the net, or things he's witnessed outside the net. They are usually intended to make him look cool to his fellow netizens. Sometimes, they can be used to get him into a Gang. However, when his stories get too outrageous to be considered believable, other warriors will question whether or not they really happened the way he said, or if they happened at all. This will set him off in a rage, and since he specializes in story telling and has a way with words, he can be extremely dangerous. Apparently there is room for only 1 Story Teller. If there is more, they will ridicule eachothers stories and it can turn into all out war.
maybe add pic whore--ppl who always want pics, won't trade unless the other person has one...so they start shit--.
The classifier is simply a warrior who knows this site and all kinds of flame warriors well, thus he will often accuse and classify other warriors for being a certain type by giving an url that links to a page of a particular flame warrior on this site.
"Script Kiddie", who goes into a technical (or hacking) forum knowing next to nothing about the relevant subject matter, yet expects to have everyone 'teach' him by spoon-feeding him the answers to his unending questions instead of pointing him to the reference material. Script kiddies are usually found in computer-related forums, but their equivalent can be found in any technical discussion group. Script kiddies are famous for getting other people to do their work (or finding work already done by someone else), then later attempting to take credit for it in order to 'look cool'.
The Vengeful Wannabe.
This guy goes into a forum expecting people to help him get revenge upon someone else, but ends up becoming a 'Target' instead. Often it's a ruse to incite others into doing something illegal on his behalf against some unsuspecting victim. Sometimes he has a tear-jerking stor
Where's the millitia man? Like revolutionary war millitia, a peaceful netizen who enjoys farming topics and the nice peaceful netlife, but will fight if this peace is threatened by a troll. They use pretty basic tactics to fight, and can either defend solo or in a mass group.. Pretty much any forum poster who cares about the well-being of the community and will fight to keep that well being (sometimes can be sweet talked by the rebel leader).
This warrior has a neat and precise label for anyone who disagrees with her, and delights in putting people in boxes. While her simpler attacks are weakened by her obvious juxtaposition of ad hominem and strawman arguments, her more complex ones may confuse other warriors into submission. May be Therapist, Picador, or Ideologue in disguise. Caution: If she gets hold of the Flame Warriors list, it could turn out to be her most potent and destructive secret weapon.
Reminiscent of the cryptic writings of a serial killer, Zodiac's posts are often found littered with random capitalizations, unnecessary spaces and innappropriate punctuation. His abilities of creative spelling are unrivaled. A Nitpick's dream opponent.
Joined: 01 Jan 2005
A chamelion is a warrior that addapts to the warriors around him, and takes on the general personality of the group. He may often change his personality several times on the same forum to match his surroundings better. He follows the group closely and can easily make many allies because of his addaptation to those around him. So therefor, a chamelion may use the tactics of any other flame-warrior in the forum.
Plagarizer (aka "Copy and Paste"):
The guy who's arguments are simply copied and pasted from other webpages, often not exactly dealing with the subject at hand. He will rarely actually acknowledge his source though, and drown you in pages and pages of plagiarized text he may have not even fully read himself. He will not listen to any reasoned arguments until people have "proved" wrong every point in his copy and pasted articles. However he gets quite upset if someone uses the same tactic in return.
A person who knows beforehand what you are going to reply and has already taken that into account. Makes almost never a literally false statement and even for those cases there's a backup plan (such as switching the context and interpreting the words differently). Can be noted from putting out baits that look as if they were wrong but really aren't due to some very nitty reason. Do not confuse with a troller though as this is usually a very knowledgeable person who is overly obsessed in being always right. After cornering the victim, doesn't usually insult directly, but rather prefers hiding it behind logic (backing up for netiquette violation): "if you had rtf/done homework/etc a smart person like you ought to have known this". Chessmaster is a rare sight and as such isn't often used to dealing with others who can play the same game. After getting cornered the behaviour may get odd.
Probably considered the weakest and most annoying warroir, he's hated by nearly everyone in the fourm. Just why is this person so hated? his posts either revolve around topics that few people on the message board ever talk about or even like, or they have so little thought put into them. Even the most calm and collected members can't reason with him. As a result, he is often targeted and flamed by almost every flame warrior. He may then resort to some very annoying tactics, such as constantly deleting his own messages, and other tactics that leave other members confused. It is incredibly easy to dislike this character for his stupidity
- Sometimes may be looked upon as a Jekyll and Hyde, this mighty warrior is a nice person, but will say things meanly. He does what's right for the forum, best to his powerful abilities. However, when provoked, he won't hesitate to fight back as a roleplayer...rarely true flames. He also hates Spammers with a passion.
- Unlike Heroic Bastard, he's extremely mean, loves to Spam, and will do anything to stop his enemy. He may ally himself with Hackers to stop Admins from doing anything against him. He hates rules most of all. Those are my two. Who knows, maybe you'll add 'em. And the personality test? Do so, please do so...
This one, a derivative of ideologue, keeps coming back with new aliases after being banned to repost the same stuff over and over again, seriously annoying the mod staff. Name: Kudzu. There is at least one person at a forum I help moderate that does this constantly, and I'd like to fit a flame warrior status right on them (evil grin).
I definitely agree, there needs to be a spammer category - rather than actually fight, they use tactics like cut-and-pasting a quote they don't like several hundred times, putting up bazillions of smilies, or posting dozens of disguisting images in an attempt to get people to stop arguing about something he considers stupid.
If someone floods the argument with random imgaes/spam/40-page posts, what is he? Why is there no Spammer?
Mule’s three major personality traits are what makes him by far one of the most challenging Warriors around; a thick skull, a lot of patience, and a LOT of stamina. Mule’s battle-ready coat of stubbornness protects him effectively in just about any battle, and his tenacity and determination rival that of Tireless Rebutter, Ferrous Cranus and Filibuster. If Mule engages in battle with either of these three Warriors, or with another Mule, the two Warriors usually then become Duelists. When the going gets tough, and Mule is pressed in the heat of battle, he will dig his heels in where most Warriors would flee, and tough it out until the very end. Mule knows how to pace himself in battle, and his introductory kicking and braying at the beginning of a battle cause many Warriors to underestimate him and deplete their main assault too early, making it easy for him to shift methods, then steadily move in and vanquish his foes. Mule’s stamina is unsurpassed and causes him
Bourgeoisie and Populist.
Someone hundreds of posts back suggested a class version of Ethnix. I would wholeheartedly agree, based on my experience online. First, I would profile "Bourgeoisie" (sp?) Bourgeoisie is a college graduate with a white collar, upper middle-class background. Spreading their opinions with a zealot's fervor, they respond harshly to criticism or dissent, labeling their opponents or those who disagree "uneducated, unsophisticated", or just flat out ignorant. They are loathe to converse with anyone who lacks a college degree, or hasn't traveled overseas at least twice. He is often allied with Blowhard and Weenie.
His counterpart is Populist. Hailing from a poorer, blue collar background, Populist hold equally fervent beliefs, labeling all those who disagree as "elitists, snooty, brainwashed by the establishment" He is often allied with Troglodyte, Conservative Ideologue, or the poor man's scholar, Pithy Phrase.
How about Hacker? Everyone knows about Hacker, and yet almost noone knows who he is. Hacker can (and sometimes does) mess up post counts, poll results, and posted messages at will. If that does not suffice, he has been known to resort to disastrous activities, such as edit modship authorities, flooding the forum's main page with an endless sea of popups, or crashing the forum entirely. Probably the most devastating Warrior in existence, most other Warriors are at the mercy of Admin's ability to locate Hacker when he strikes, or better yet, to protect the forum from his presence entirely. NOTE: Propeller Head often claims to be Hacker, and occasionally (but rarely) he is telling the truth. When he is not, Newbie and some others will fall for the bluff, but veteran Warriors realize that a true Hacker almost never reveals one's identity.
Higher Life Form
One is the self-proclaimed HLF - Higher Life Form. They believe they are More Than Man, and will spout pretentious nothings, frequently contradicting themselves, until half the forum worship them and the other half call for The Ban. Two subspecies of this subspeices (subsubs?!) would be Occult Kid, the guy who wants ot be cool, and thinks he is/will be a demon. Hooray for them. The other is Superior Contradictor - puts on high-and-mighty airs, yet anyone with a 30 day memory will be able to see that if they ever had any stable opinions, those days ar elong gone.
The Hater Posse is very similar to Terrorist that somebody else had mentioned, but it's a group of people rather than an individual. An example of a Hater Posse would be something like this: A bunch of hardcore Beatles fans might attack a Michael Jackson message board and put down not only Michael Jackson, but their fans as well. It could also result in the Michael Jackson fans retaliating by going over to the Beatles message board to give the Hater Posse from the Beatles board a tase of their own medicing. But the Hater Posse (from the Beatles board) still manages to get the upperhand by somehow making the Michael Jackson fans who decided to retaliate seem like the immature and trollish ones. Another major factor in causing inter-foum flame wars. Just a suggestion. :)
Post whore and Attention Whore
Nice site, i never saw any mention of Post-Whores and Attention-Whores in your descriptions. These two kinds of posters are my favorite flamees, at the moment.
I suggest another category, which one could call "Two Face": in one or more groups he can be kind, helpful and even sickenly sweet to people, but makes up for it in other places by being agressive, and as nickpicking as an obcessive-compulsive about just about anything. This can often be puzzling to the very few that happen to visit his different kinds of hangouts and identify the clues that give away his souble identity. Perhaps a more adequate name could be "Beuty and the Beast".
Usenet Freedom Fighter
One strange flame warrior is the Usenet Freedom Fighter (UFF) often seen in the discussion groups associated with the alt.binaries hierarchy. They sweep in claiming to be liberating a functional group from the Nettiquite Nazis, Admins, Nannys, and other seekers of order. To liberate the binary posting groups and the .d sub groups they spam flood the channel with random garbage using custom written software. They use cancelbots and other trickery via comprimised accounts. The original UFF was started by John Grubor with the goal of all usenet (not just binary) useless for everyone. The recent re-creation of the UFF seems to rarely stray ourside of illegal file trading groups because they feel safe because no criminal will complain about being abused. UFF claim to be anti-faq, anti-order and for total anarchy. Mostly they seem to just be loosers with a grudge against someone or something.
Incredible Hulk is a cousin of Jeck/Hyde, but except Hulk doesn't change on a dime for no reason. Hulk is usually a Kung Fu Master who's been pushed over the edge by a comment that Jerk would leave about a sensitive topic in his personal life. When Hulk gets upset, he transforms from being one of the more mild mannered posters in the room to being foul mouthed, vicious and sometimes 1337, smashing everyone and everything in his path and not caring who is what. Hulk's been known to be resistant to even Swarms and big dogs. Afterwards, Hulk returns to being mild mannered and friendly, but nobody's left the same. It's as though a Godzilla attacked the room.
I would like to see "Hired Assassin" Someone who is generally beckoned into a forum by a warrior under attack, often being Palooka, Crybaby, Rebel Leader, Newbie or Lurker, basically to end the battle, "Hired Assassin's" normally have known these warriors underfire for a while and are often paid very well for their work. A Hired Assassin will come into an arguement, get himself envolved and finish with devastating consequence's, he is feared by all other Warriors, except for Admin and Godzilla. The Hired Assassin will often research the target from a sort of lurker stance and when he feels he has enough to do the job will crush all. "Hired Assassin" has only loyalty to the warriors he has gotten to know over a long period of time, and will often reject begging of his services" ... ok that sounds way too much like me.. lol Checky
suggest Gun Lover
What about the guy who claims to be a soldier in real life and likes to post pictures of his AK-47, or close-ups of the bullets... as if to say, "this one has your name on it". That guy intimidates a lot of people into leaving him alone, because they're unsure as to whether he's simply posturing, or whether he will actually show up at your front door with said gun.
followup by a guest
hmmm, no, I haven't seen any specimen of that description. We could call him "Rumsfield The Pyschotic", I suppose. Or "The Not-So Great Terminator"... Or "Human Dalek" would be ideal as a moniker for that war-mongering character ["Ex-Ter-I-Mate!"]. :-D One could suppose that Net Nanny, Moderator or Adminstrator could, with a well-timed press of a button, terminate his executing tread and thereby remove him from the Processor Core...
- The spammer doesn't ever have an actual point, but prefers to drown his opponent in a flood of copy and pasted nonsense. Only fellow spam artists can understand his ways, thus he is mostly annoying to anyone in an argument.
Flame Warriors will sometimes debate the same issue in multiple discussions, but they usually grow tired of it and move on to more stimulating discussions after awhile. The Dead Horse, however, seems to enjoy reviving threads or starting topics that the local Warriors swore off long ago. Most Warriors will wait until Admin or Netiquette Nazi terminates the thread, but occasionally one will regain interest and help revive the discussion, such as Godzilla looking for a new target. Dead Horse is especially hated by Howlers and is can be effectively silenced by Archivist, who posts the link to the old thread and often says nothing more. CAUTION: Newbie is often mistaken for Dead Horse. Trollers and occasionally Evil Clown, Picador, and Deacon will masquerade as Dead Horse.
How about "Condescending": the character who is oh-so-morally and/ or intellectually superior to the rest of the "peasants"?
suggest Copy Kat
What about people that only debate by posting premade "forum pictures", instead of using their own brain to make a point ?
Alpha Wolf (and Wolf Pack)
I have one idea for an addition...a number come close to this but don't quite nail it. Close to a cross between Rebel Leader, Big Cat, and Big Dog, with a bit of Eagle Scout mixed in there. Alpha Wolf (and Wolf Pack) Alpha Wolf is a secretive, mildly temperamental flame warrior who prefers to keep a distance from, but a keen eye on, forum affairs. Seldom does Alpha Wolf speak, but his words carry great weight for both their rarity and content. However, he holds strong opinions about the board and its inhabitants, which he may voice only in private. Furthermore, he is easily provoked, even without the provocateur’s knowledge or intent. A mistimed comment or sharply contrary opinion may be enough. Once enraged, Alpha Wolf may try to intimidate the provocateur into submission or employ Picador-like tactics to engage. If an apology results, Alpha Wolf will walk away satisfied. If hostility erupts, Alpha Wolf not only tears into the offender, but brings the wrath of all similarly-minded individuals upon
suggest Amine Lover
The only common type of person that I can think of that's missing here is the rabid anime-otaku sort. They're seeping into every inch of the internet, these days.
Usually either a Lurker finally beginning to post or a Newbie attempting to look cool, Pop-Up begins posting at a community acting as if he has been there all along. He will attempt to copy forum in-jokes or references and even occasionally take it upon himself to declare his contributions as "official" products of the community. Naturally, this drives Xenophobes nuts, and they will take every possible opportunity to remind Pop-Up of his place. Most Pop-Ups fail dismally at sensing the mood of the community and are loathed by all. The occasional one that actually gets it right will most likely treasure his status and morph into a Xenophobe himself.
- This warrior is extremely hot-headed and quick to anger, and is a close ally of troglodyte and allcaps. He likes to talk about how much he can bench press, how many people he's beaten up, or about his kickboxing lessons. It doesn't matter how irrelevant it is to the discussion. Naturally, he's universally regarded as an irrational idiot. A clumsy, predictable fighter, if things don't go his way in battle, he'll tell you that you would never say that to his face, and he may even challenge you to come meet him face to face to settle the argument. He may even arrange a date and time. Other warriors laugh it off, and he calls them a pussy and challenges their manhood, and continues to do so through PM's and emails. Often, L'Enfant Provocateur, Jerk, Evil Clown, or a group of Gangstas will set him off into a rage.
- This warrior specializes in invasions of other forums. He differs from Troller in that his attacks are often well coordinated, and he isn't easy to get rid of. He may be a democrat attacking a republican forum, or a red sox fan attacking a yankees forum. He goes to other forums, and floods the board with nonsensical posts, spam, sick pictures stretching posts, and picks fights with the established members. In some cases, he may even hack the board. He likes to get other warriors to go and join him in causing mischief. Favorite recruits include e-gangsta, Evil Clown, Jerk, L'Enfant Provocateur, Rebel, and Rebel Leader. Usually, the Terrorist and his army are quickly ejected from the forum that they're invading, and it ends there. Sometimes, however, the forum being invaded will retaliate and an inter-forum war will erupt. When confronted about causing it, the Terrorist will say "How can you bust me for something I did outside of this board?!?", or he'll point the finger at someone else. Oftentimes, he's regarded as a hero, since he seems to take the leadership role in inter-forum wars that he caused. Others regard him as a nuisance who needs to be ousted from the forum. Terrorist is usually a formidable fighter, as he does little else other than cause trouble in the forum in which he posts.
How about the 'Ent'? Ents once were regular and knowledgeable contributors on long standing forums, but have grown quiet, if not silent for extended periods of time. Ents are fondly remembered by veteran readers, and when they are disturbed from their groves into battle they can be ferocious, and have the backing of most of the established warriors. Warriors should be warned that although managing to chop or burn an Ent down is a satisfying victory, you'll earn the loathing of the entire forum.
Element - Warring- mutual hatred.
There's an element of forum interations that you seem to have overlooked. When you have two messageboards that have mutual hatred/resentment of each other, you end up seeing semi-organized attacks/mayhem caused by members emulating trolls and other lower flamers on the other board. You haven't seen a flame war until you've seen a forum war... This situation no longer exists. The other board's admin went crazy and closed the place.
Spammer is a user who loves to waste space and block out other threads in a message board. He/she may make as much as 50 threads in a row or 50 posts in a row that are usually complete non-sense, garble. Spammers are weak warriors and usually don't last long as they will get put onto some kind of ignore list, kicked out by Admin, or even hacked by Propeller Head.
- gansta is a user who mostly talks about rap music and uses "gangsta slang" such as "Yo I like da rap game, freestyles galore probly gonna drop a song on an album fo sho" Who also have aliases such as 'illa and playa45 or snoopdawg00. Their combat skills vary but they usually are not terribly powerful. These types of people may come in groups making a message board their territory.
- Prep is usually a teenage girl who has a cheerleader type of prepiness. Prep is somewhat like Bliss Ninny and Coffee Klatch combined. Prep doesn't engage in intellegent discussion and is likes make preppy comments such as "WHATS UP PEEPS????? LOL!!! :D!!" or "wellz..only this summer..lol but OMG!! itz got better now cuz like school started!" Her posts are usually no longer than a couple lines long. She might get bullied by some users who are annoyed by her, while defended by others such as the Cyber Sisters
This last idea comes from a rare species of flame warrior. He could be called Hero or Super Hero or Uber Peep or something like that (he is the flame warrior equivalent of Uber Hound). Hero has the heart of Eagle Scout, the might of Kung Fu Master and a mind that can match Philosopher's. Hero may also possess other abilities such as being very funny or artistic or computer-smart. Though Hero always tries to be heartful towards all netizens, his patience is not infinite with malicious users and may eventually crush them out of existence and few warriors ever survive.
Copyist conducts himself like a normal poster until he is flamed, at which point he pulls out his only weapon: Copy and Paste. By pasting the exact same flame (with certain words changed to turn it toward the original poster) Copyist can not fail. Even if the flame makes no sense in its new form, Copyist will continue. No one can stand against him, as you will never get him to say anything other than the words comming out of your own mouth.
you should make one that is like the reverse of the deacon, who is one of those people who cant stand the fact that anybody believes in a god and wont stop flaming religious people until he makes them look stupid for believing in a god. know what i mean?
- Hailing from the mean streets of the internet, this breed of warrior cruises around the forum in groups of 3 or more, looking for trouble. Often, a weaker warrior will join an E-gang for protection from other warriors. E-Gangstas can strike fear into even the toughest of warriors, as they rarely travel alone, are almost always armed, and will kick another warrior when he's down. In short, this breed of warrior does not know the meaning of a fair fight. If the rest of the gang does not participate in direct combat, they will sit on the sidelines and cheer every attack from their boy. If he is in the slightest bit of trouble, the rest of the gang will jump in at a moment's notice, brass knuckles, switchblades and all. Even the toughest of warriors will get a few bruises and cuts after an encounter with an E-gang in a dark alley. Sometimes there are rival gangs posting in the same forums. This can result in gang warfare, in which innocent netizens can get caught in the crossfire. Natural
Dissector, Logic cop and Sportscaster
But, if you want to do a logician type, I think THE DISSECTOR, LOGIC COP (similar to Grammarian) or perhaps 'The Sportscaster' - Gives a blow by blow analysis of the style and substance of other warriors and points out every flaw. Will use this technique to wear down enemies. Favorite targets are: Profundus Maximus, Compost and Evil Clown.
But remember the l337|\/|4|\| if it hasn't already been said already...
Ninja--basically a cross between the lurker and kung-fu master. Threads typically end quickly once he strikes.
Closely related to Ego, the Artiste has a deep seated obsession with his own artistic talents, which are generally nonexistent. He will often use his own insipid poetry in his signature, or post it to no apparent purpose in the midst of battle. The Artiste's main goal is to impress everyone as a sort of net-Milton, unfortunately he is regarded unanimously as a pretentious idiot.
Dictator and (suggest) Patroit.
You need to create a category for overzealous moderators and call them dictators or something. Also I am a conservative American at a forum where there are ton of anti-americans and liberals so they refer to me as an "uberpatriot" so you can create a category for us patriotic americans.
How about adding the Logic Chopper? A type that bears some resemblance to the Tireless Rebutter, but along with tenacity continually points to his opponent's "fallacies", while being entirely blind to his own, even when they're pointed out. However, if you accuse Logic Chopper of being a Logic Chopper, he'll tell you that it's an ad hominem argument and a straw man.
Well, I'd like to think of myself as a cross-breed of Weenie and Philosopher, but I fear I'm pretty much a GOADER. I like to pick fights with Jerks, Evil Clowns, Deacons, Troglodytes and Ferrous Cranus simply because their insults and/or sheer hard-headed stupidity gives me the sense of being morally and intellectually superior. Or because they simply make me laugh.
- The Link library is a veritable wealth of relevant links to interesting, on-topic sites - but never actually seems to post anything of their own. This can be due to reticence, distrust of their own abilities, or occasionally an axe to grind and biased websites to promote. The Link Library can evolve from the Archivist who leaves the forum and starts trying to archive the entire web, or from the Eagle Scout who spend just too much time finding information for the Newbie. - Is evolution allowed? Or just not for the Troglodyte :P
So, what about those of us who fall under several categories, but aren't Imposters? Shapeshifters, maybe? Equally qualified (however well that may be) in several aspects of flaming, yet masters of none.
Redundant Quoter feels the need to quote, usually with a copy/paste operation, the entire message he is replying to. While this tactic is annoying to other warriors, Redundant Quoter pays no heed. Redundant Quoter is unable to come up with anything original of his own, and can only respond to the attacks of other warriors. He will often chop quotes up into bite-sized chunks, and reply to each chunk separately. Redundant Quoter can slow a discussion down so much, that he will soon find himself alone with only Tireless Rebutter to talk to.
Elitists usually band together in a flame war, using their "expertise" in various matters as buttresses for their ill-founded arguments. Despite this, they will consistently press their attacks, even when faced with defeat at the hands of a Kung-Fu Master or Admin. They will not hesitate to attack Toxic Granny witht heir strongest armament (what little they have), despite her venerable age, as they believe that respect must be earned and not assumed due to age. Of course, this doesn't stop them from assuming that they are restpected - but they are actually universally loathed.
Someone who is so utterly ignorant that any topic they post in quickly dies or disolves into a fit angry shouting at the Obliviator, who then of course does something like correct the person's grammer/spelling. The point is that any conversation with these people only gets worse, with each strike of a key they lower the IQ of the forum as a whole... I know such a person on a forum I'm an admin on, he constantly replies with "What?!?!? (emoticon*25)" or will spread his answer over two or three posts (seemingly at random, and within one minute of his last post). Any attempts to explain the rules are invariably met with total giberish. Obliviator=Admin's worst nightmare. (personal experiance here)
You need "Post Whore" on there. Most of the boards I go to keep track of post counts and there is a small group of these people that only care about their post count. They will post mindless dribble over and over until their post count rises to an acceptible level and then they turn on anyone with less posts than them claiming that they are more knowledgable since they contribute more. A favorite "weapon" of these types is, "What do you know? Look at your post count."
Perhaps some sort of "Devils' Advocate" warrior, perhaps going something like this Generally one of the more intelligent cyberwarriors, often trained in the law, the Devil's Advocate prides himself on his ability to understand and argue any side of any argument at any time. When and for whom he chooses to fight depends entirely on his assessment of how the battle is progressing. He will invariably choose to jump in on the side of that is losing the battle, and use his potent weapons to buttress their defense. The Devil's Advocate can be a frustrating warrior to deal with as he does not even attempt to keep his positions in various battles consistent (which can drive an Archivist mad), and the only thing predictable about him is his love for the underdog. It is usually impossible to determine if the Devils Advocate actually beleives anything he is saying, or even if he beleives anything at all. Nevertheless, the Devils Advocate can be a powerful short-term ally in the bleakest of situations, and has turned many poten
(what they are)
'Offenderati'. A poster is easily offended and flames as a result
I have a suggestion for a warrior Yes Man Always agrees with the side that is winning an argument or, if it isn't clear, with whichever camp has the most supporters. Never posts anything original or intelligent, merely agrees with the other, smarter warriors on his side. If attacked, Yes Man will simply point out his supporters to the agressor and allow one of them to take the reins.
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum