Joined: 01 Jan 2005
Here is the book after processing and political ones killed off.
Perhaps a crosee of fanboy, bong, Evil Clown, and even some Ent. There are a few us hanging around most forums
Is there a classification for a poster who will incessantly open new discussion thread's without bothering to see if that same topic was opened previously? Someone also mentioned a poster who doesn't bother to read through the entire discussion and merely responds to the first 2 or 3 posts?
suggest Banter Canter
Another very ANNOYING poster is the one who will create MANY meaningless, non-sensical polls...simply to get attention. It's almost a shotgun effect. They perhaps take satisfaction in seeing their handle run down the thread list. eg. What is your favorite color? a)red b)blue c) green d) other
This may or may not be a new warrior class, but what do you call the sensitive guy who only occasionally participates in forum discussion and does and obsessively seeks out mentions of his favorite topic to defend--typically by replying to the first few posts of a long thread without reading the whole thing--visciously flames people, and then apologizes and backs down once they point out what an ass he's been?
suggest Gung Ho
And what about--and this may be a relative of Palooka--the guy who fearlessly tackles Admin, gets banned, but then his friends petition for him to come back, which he does, but then he calls Admin a pussy for bringing him back and is banned again? Typically, this guy will come back under different accounts, each one managing to get banned.
They are rarely involved in actual debates, tending to joke around and make very short posts, often sparking a series of one-word posts or emoticon-only replies. Surprised not to see it on your otherwise-comprehensive site, perhaps it isn't as common as I assumed.
Howsabout a fangirl, the counterpart to fanboy? Unlike fanboy, who enjoys comic books, star trek, video games, etc, Fangirl will furiously attack anyone who so much as implies that they don't like Orlando Bloom/Avril Lavigne/Evanescence.
How about "Smilie Abuser" this person uses smilies to try and worm their way out of arguments. This eventually pisses all of the other board members off and the person gets banned/warned/whatever? Great site!!
How about "Doomsayer" or some variant on this? Because EVERY forum I've ever been to always has at least someone predicting the "end" of the forum as we know it or the site in general if the admin takes, say, a two day vacation from updates.
How about "Top-Post Totalitarian" This would be someone whose entire world and existence grinds to a halt when someone replies using top-posting.
Linkmeister- characterized by a lackluster contribution of his own, but a master of dueling with endless links to various online resources supporting his rhetorical positions as 'FACT.' If one were to attempt to point out the skewed commentary in the content of each link or otherwise attempt to engage his reasoning directly, Linkmeister can always resort to even more Internet links or perhaps insert a Photoshopped image mocking the issue in question in order to screen his own argument or lack thereof. At any rate, many arguments between polarized viewpoints often invlove many Linkmeisters jousting endlessly back and forth.
Barbarians/Barbarian Invasion/Mongol Horde. Barbarians are invaders from another board, and they aren't welcome. Sometimes their own board was shut down (or even overrun by other Barbarians), other times they come seeking greener pastures, still other times the Barbarians launch a hostile invasion whose only goal is the destruction of their target forum. But there is a unifying theme that makes 'Barbarians' barbarians: They arrive en masse with no warning and completely overrun their new forum. Like the 'swarm' in reverse, barbarians almost always generate a swarm counterattack from the previous forum denizens and all out war quickly ensues. Sometimes the barbarians are rebuffed and return to their homeland. Other times they are absorbed into the citizenry of the new forum. Sometimes they are so destructive in their raping and pillaging that the new forum is completely destroyed, and the barbarians move on, their thirst for blood barely sated. However it turns out, barbarians always leave a trail of xenophobes in their wake. WARNING: Troller, jerk, evil clown and lurker are the secret allies of the barbarians and are often responsible for inciting the barbarian invasion in the first place.
suggest Love Junkie
A category for those who, either inadvertantly, or deliberately, end up falling in love with someone else who posts on the message boards, meets, falls in love, then feels a need to post every single detail of their love lives on the site that they met. ;):D:D:D
Arr, I bring now the Post Pirate, Source Parrot's nefarious relation. Post Pirate doesn't use and quote sources only like Source Parrot does but isn't above using such a tactic. Instead Post Pirate will sail internet seas in search of posts that he can lift and edit content from to make his posts seem more intelligent and credible to make up for Post Pirate's incredibly weak arguing skills. Unfortunately catching a Post Pirate in the act is tough since there's a near infinite number of treasure troves full of posts he can pillage from in the oceans. Although skilled warriors in the usage of grammar and typing styles may notice the work of a Post Pirate, accusing the opponent of post piracy is still difficult none-the-less
"Hijacker has a natural affinity to derail threads from their original tracks. The Hijacker's mission is to always produce an off-topic discussion, no matter what the topic is about, or how serious it is. The hijackers main ally is usually [loopy], [troller], and [evil clown]. The Hijacker can be rather annoying in most discussions, as he likes chaos rather than order. The Hijackers main tenant is to destroy a healthy or productive thread, and wants the thread to be like a virus that contaminates the forum. Hijacker is loathed by [nanny], [Xenophobe] and [Cyber Sisters].
I would like to suggest a new "Flamer" the Blocker (For want of a better name). Description: The Blocker will take any position no matter how extreme to "win" an argument. One of my tactics would be to take a Flamer who held a particularly strong position on something and perform a sort of Judo move on them. I would attack the most extreme parts of their position and force the Flamer off of it. Once the Flamer backed off the position I would use that momentum to yank them off their feet. It worked pretty well in most cases but not with the Blockers. For instance: Post: Do you really think that it is O.K. to suck a perfectly healthy babies brains out from a perfectly healthy mother just as it is being born? Blocker: I support fully a womans right to have an abortion. Post: Look, unless you say otherwise, I will take that as a "Yes". Blocker: I fully support her decision to have an abortion whenever she wants. Post: To the last few seconds.........O.K. Or Post: Do you really think that the United states is that bad? Say, more evil than Hitler or Stalinist Russia? Or Do you really think that we should have summary executions for (such and such)? The difference between the Blocker and the Pinko or the Ideologue is that you get the sense that the Flamer doesn't really believe what he or she is saying. They just know that backing off is a losing position and they won't do it. of couse that also explains what kind of Flamer I am,
Comment in guest book by Fence Sitter about the entry.
- a tactic (warrior) I've always refered to as "someone playing the extremes". As a countermeasure a warrior will state that whoever, is just building straw men to knock down, as no-one is likely to disagree with their extreme angle. (or something to that effect) They also direct discussion to focus to the reality of the argueement. Another countermeasure I've seen used is the use of very ironic comments. The Bloker would have to describe those who counter with the same or greater odd stance to that of their attacker, I guess I've simply referred to the Blocker as someone who was "actively exporing the limits of stupidity". Another response is to sit on the facts and sigh and shrug.
Perplexus Infinitum, a lateral thinker gone wrong - akin to Loopy. This warrior beliefs / explanations can be traced back to some sound base knowledge, but over their lifetime have propped up many ideas from areas completely unrelated. Its not uncommon to see more than 3 different ideas, rolled up into one. They will use what are some pretty sound arguements and examples, but generally not appropriate to support any arguement.
suggest Know All
This warrior (name?) is akin to blowhard. They belive their experience in a certin area is quite broad in fact they have a much narrower perspective of the field. While not a Blowhard, they will go to some length to let everyone know they have been doing whatever for a while. Heck they've even been paid to do it. While not denying they are probably quite spot on many matters, other more informed members are annoyed when this warrior assumes the same expert status on similar things which they are clearly not. After they fall into a well placed contradiction trap, battle cries include how busy there are, but still have the time to win this one - thinking on the go etc. Sometimes logic eludes them suggesting what they know is in the form of a doctrine. (like what you find at some telephone support service centers)
Sniper. The Sniper rarely rushes into the forefront of a battle. Instead, he bides his time, waiting for his foes to leave themselves open with a weak argument, a poorly-supported point, a general non-sequitur, an easily contradicted example, and so on. When he spots such an opening, the Sniper fires an immediate and precise attack directly at the weak point. Depending on the size of the opening Sniper fires through, his shot may be a damaging blow to the opposition, or merely an annoyance. Because he relies on laying in wait to make his move, Sniper rarely engages in battles alone, and isn't a fearsome Warrior one-on-one. However, he can be a useful ally in a larger fracas, and he's often difficult to counter-attack, because he only fires when he knows he can clearly win his point.
Cynic - someone overly cynical. They seem to land on light or fluffy forums every so often -some have the sence to leave.
Mimic - this I'm sure is a distinct warrior type akin to Imposter. This warrior probably has suffered to lethal blow, and has reteated from the battle field. While licking their wounds, they set about to undermine the warrior who delivered the blow. Armed with a bit of research and email header info and some knowledge how to fake an email they set about masquerading as the warrior they intend to discredit. They are more likely to flame other forums (absent of the victim) first, send images not allowed or intended to upset, all under the guise of their victim. They will eventually work around to visiting forums where the victim habits. If they are a Propeller Head, they have been know, prior to good firewalls, to hack into the actual victims ISP account or gain access to the victims machine. Of course Imposter has been know to blame the Mimic when someone points out certin facts indicate a common ISP account has been used by them as well as other "phantom" members/warriors. I think Mimic would include someone who sets up a spamming operation implicating the victim. In HTML forums an identy is harder to fake. Mimic can take a different angle. They wont mimic by name but by nature. There is perhaps a certin amount of insanity (but not insane) when these fellas go to the lengths they do. They will spend a lot of time as Arhivist. They then create a new member, and copy aspects of the victims persona and write in a fashion very suggestive of the victim. The new member will have a obviously different geography, details etc. They will then introduce aspects of geography that either sugest the member details are fake or lean towards that of the victim. The aim is to suggest the victim is posing as a phantom member so they can be themselves and say the "nasty" things that are really on their mind.
The Promoter (Only shows up in a discussion when they have a product or website to promote or show-off.)
Don't forget about the Abandoner. The guy who gets so frustrated with a conversation he makes what appears to be his definitive statement, promising to not post anything further on the subject. (I.E. His word will be the final word, and that's when HE will choose to end HIS topic thread.) And then, after his opponent's next post, he zealousy jumps right back into the fray.
The Linguist: A tell tale sign of a linguist is the eagerness to know what ethnicity an attacked Patois or similar flame warrior is. He then proceeds to total remove him from the flame war by beginning a sub-convo with him in the Patois native toung. Linguists never engage in battle but rather end it by removing the attacked parties, leaving attackers with no one to attack.
A H4X0R157 can be described as a mix of a Compost, and a Propeller Head. He specializes in an English cypher known as L337 (leet, using characters to represent letters). His posts are almost impossible to ignore due to their seeming lack of actual wording. Through this language, he will perform many of the tasks Composts, and Propeller heads do and is often times mistaken as a Garble. Since H4X0R1575 are often times attacked as a Profundus Maximus, they can be seen dropping their cypher and acting as a Philosopher.
Hater being seconded
Just saw someone else's suggestion on Hater (or Basher) and thought I'd second it. Basically the opposite of Fanboy, this person intensely dislikes one thing, whether a movie, a computer game, a book, a band, or anything else - and will often be found on forums dedicated to that very product, producing an endless barrage of output on the subject. Whether it's pointing out the same flaws over and over, gloating over bad reviews or sales figures, or simply resorting to name-calling, sarcasm and outright insults, Hater does it all, often on a daily basis. Not content to start his own topics, he will also expand to all threads containing any mention of his pet hatred in order to better spread his 'message'. Although repetitive and obnoxious, the more intelligent Haters will sometimes manage to gather a small group of followers who, while not as powerful, will eagerly defend their master in combat. Hater will gleefully and at length pick apart posts which disagree with him, but when confronted directly will attempt to escape by invoki
I call it "CnP". It is basically people who just Copy and Paste extremely long quotations from some homepage that supports their point of view without actually reading it themselves and without anyone else reading it. In fact CnP just hopes that his/her quotation is so long that the other warriors will just give up arguing. I hope you can make something funny out of that.
suggested by proxy Evil Admin
what about an entry for someone who's a moderator/admin, but abuses their power?
- Starchild is the epitome of the New Age wonk. Frequently a card-carrying Pagan and sometimes claiming to be a witch or warlock, Starchild is instantly recognizable as an "Age of Aquarius" fluffbunny to anyone that happens to be serious about alternative religions and spirituality. Starchild can barely resist inserting flowery comments about cosmic spheres and dolphins into most any discussion. He/she may also adopt an attitude of comdemnation for the evils of Christianity; if a devout Deacon is around, a bitter fight to the end is assured for while Starschild may be shallow, there is a surprising amount of tenacity to be found much of the time.
Has the description of "Lazy" been covered by some other warrior type? (Lazy is basically a person who certainly does have valid questions or news. The problem is, they have all been answered or seen before. Lazy is easy to recognize due to his mysterious inability to use any kind of "search" button. Lazy immediately draws fire from howlers, but when confronted he usually tries to fend off the attack with the argument "Someone else might have not seen this"
The Weekend Expert. I've borrowed this term, and it implies someone who has become a over indulged in an activity (esp recreational), to the point they know a fair bit about it. However I don't remember when I first heard of it used as an insult. - Someone who has feverishly spent a short amount of time (about 2 days flat out) getting up to speed on an issue, to the point where they say they are very proficient, and very experinced. In the real world they don't pull this stunt on those who know them on a daily basis unless they happen to be totally narcissistic. Generally Weekend Expert has plenty of time on their hands and don't get much sleep. Weekend Expert appears in a few varied forms. I think they could be described as wannabe Brains. The first type I can think of is motivated by "keeping up the appearance of being smart". (and so it is a class of Imposter/Profundus Maximus)
The 2nd describes the quick transformation of a warrior into Weekend Expert. This can happen if they become the new target or sometimes it can be triggered by an attack by a tourist or another warrior suddenly morphing into nitpick. There are other minor types as well. Weekend Expert's outward appearance varies, but rest assured you'll run into that "knew forever" persona. Typically, Weekend Experts are prone to make blunders in relaxed daily converse, generally while they are recovering from the lack of sleep. They learn to speak quitely for a couple of days when there is a new unknown subject/battle and then will wade to the middle with the "facts" or a rock solid opinion, crafted over 2 - 3 days working and reworking their well informed assult. They are clever enough to pass this new knowledge off as "stuff" they always knew. If this means suddenly switching sides, they will with a lot of carefully crafted spin doctoring.
If well and truely caught out, they will sometimes resort to saying they were playing the devil's advocate. or just stirring up or sounding out any opposition, being sarcastic etc. They appear to get away with it. After all, it was they, who presented/ introduced/ reaffirmed the correct facts into the battle, and these facts they have always known. Unlike the bulk who admit that they have searched and gathered some new information, a Weekend Expert will not ever mention they have just aquired this info. They always knew, from the time they were educated or learnt on the job. or from many years of experience. In this way they are similar to the Imposter in many respects as they paint a pseud of "Having well rounded knowledge in most areas -always" In the first tentative steps of becoming a Weekend Expert, they may have been a Profundus Maximus. Weekend Expert's input in a forum is useful as their posts are generally a gathering of facts, even if some of it is overly simplified or not quite in the correct context. A sucsessful Weekend Expert sticks to facts, and never reveals any source, and expresses any new found ideas in their own words. As they are self educating all the time, they actually do become a stronger warrior. They pass as reasonably inteligent. They would need to refer back to source until they know it or until such time it is no longer relevant. A trait of the Weekend Expert would be lack of initial insight on the "subject". The natural enemy of Weekend Expert would be Archivist.
Resulting entries due to some questions put by a guest of the exact nature of this warrior
Weekend Expert is driven by a moderate to high level of narcissism, whereas Lonely Guy is just desperately lonely, in need of some "company". Lonely Guy simply likes to participate. Lonely Guy is pretty obvious, as whatever stops them from participating in the real world stains their persona. Weekend Expert has an entirely different set of goals. They never admit they are Weekend Expert, within a forum or otherwise. Weekend Expert has similarities to other warriors who also have narcissistic tendencies. From time to time I'm pretty sure some solid warrior types try morphing into Weekend Expert briefly, but realise to continue any longer, it'll be a permanent change. Depending on the forum, members there often believe Weekend Experts to be Big Dog, Ideolouge, Jerk, Nitpick, Blowhard, Eagle Scout Big Cat or Imposter. Some are known as Jekyl and Hyde due to short periods of ill temper - the result of little sleep.
A Weekend Expert would look like a Big Cat. Both may appear reluctant to fight at first, but for totally different reasons. Both deliver hard blows when its time. Both will chase threads. I should point of the Weekend Expert will generally display a smug persona. They don't brag much about how much they know. Should you ever confront Weekend Expert with you feel they are a Weekend Expert, you can occassionally find yourself lined up in their sights. After they have researched you extensively, by becoming Archivist, expect plenty of baits. They'll resort to private email if need be. Anyhow, what Weekend Expert does is entirely dependent on the level of narcissism or what aspects of narcissism, that they suffer from.
A Weekend Expert can operate in the same manner as Big Cat. Weekend Expert isn't always going to have plenty of time on their hands. Weekend Expert is generally not that lonely. The participate on forums, probably no more than other members, but will when required, invest a lot of time (by themselves) searching the net. By doing that, they actual spend less time on the forum. They have a life outside the WWW. Thats just the way I read them though. In real life this somewhat narcissist personality is not so obvious, but they still strive to try and impress all about. If I was to guess many would be some guy in a long term relationship. He probably spends considerable time bragging/showing off to his partner how well he does. Aint he smart.
Bulldozer isn't the fastest or most nimble Warrior, but what they lack in finesse they make up in raw power, standing behind their argument, backing it up with facts and not letting the debate get lead of-topic. Smaller, less experienced Bulldozers tend to overestimate their power and will bail off into an argument headfirst, only to stall out or break down. A truly powerful Bulldozer will do their homework, make sure that they are right, find the most effective way to present it, and start pushing, not stopping until all obstacles are cleared. If the going gets too tough, a smart operator will back off and let his machine cool off before getting another run and pushing onwards. It's rare to see a Bulldozer get completely stuck, but when it does happen, nothing short of a larger Bulldozer will get them moving again. If two Bulldozers with opposing arguments get together, they will keep pushing until one of them backs off, or they will both throw a track, running in circles until they get shut down.
Cyber Samurai: an honerable Flamewarrior who believes in honorable combat and serves his master (Godfather, Royals).
followup by a guest
Fluff Bunny would be a better term than WW-Wiccan. And not all FBs are Wiccan, I'm afraid.
How about " Sniffing Dismisser"? A flame warrior who lives to dismiss any and all arguments regardless of its merits. He /She sees any comment other than their own as unworthy. Scorn. mockery and ridicule are their tools.
How about something like 'the Googler' (obviously a trademark infringement right there). Along the lines of "The Internet is a big place, and somewhere out there, someone has written something at some time that completely demolishes your argument. The Googler just found it, and can't wait to show it to you."
The Armchair Specialist
The Armchair Specialist. This warrior is a specialist in one particular field of common debate, such as popular music, military history, or favorite pets. However, instead of possessing a normal field of knowledge, the Armchair Specialist harnesses a barrage of obscure facts on a sub-category of the debate, with little knowledge of the entire issue at hand. The Armchair Specialist takes exquisite pleasure in insisting that he is SO MUCH MORE INTELLIGENT than all the ungrateful savages on the forums, and taking a position completely contrary to all other arguments. For example, in a debate on a favorite song by the band Metallica, an Armchair Specialist focused on Heavy Metal will jump in with the declaration that "Vampire Baby Corpse" is a much superior band, and when no one wishes to even HEAR "Vampire Baby Corpse", he assumes victory. Should a powerful enough warrior absorb the initial onslaught of obscure facts on an obscure topic, or perhaps even demonstrate minor knowledge of the same topic, the Armchair Specialist will flee the fight, for he truly knows little more than he expects his opponent to know. WARNING: Armchair Specialists, when cornered, can easily mutate into JERK.
These next two, who are mortal enemies, are both members of oppressed groups in society. 1. Identity Politics--This is the one who screams "I am woman, hear me roar!" "We're here, we're queer, get used to it!" "Black Power!" and so forth. She belongs to all the gay, feminist, racial, etc. political organizations (e.g., NOW, NAACP, etc....provided those groups are not too conservative!) and can be seen front and center at all the rallies and parades--decked out in an Afro and dashiki, rainbow colors, a female symbol, or any combination of those. If you are male, white, middle-to-upper, straight, etc., then you are automatically one of the oppressors and should feel guilty about that...though you can be a supporter if you show enough guilt and are committed to changing yourself. Identity Politics is the bane of all conservatives and even most liberals for her radical views (she would contend that they are merely dupes of the oppressor). Though weak (and perhaps even pathetic) when alone, a group of Identity Politicses can overwhelm you.
2. Uncle Tom (or Assimilationist)--In contrast to Identity Politics, Uncle Tom is at best indifferent to and at worst ashamed of his minority status. Horrified by the behavior of his radical counterparts, Uncle Tom will contend, with visible arrogance, "Well, *I* don't define myself by my race/sexuality/etc" or "Well, *I'm* not like *that*!" Obsessed with being perceived as "normal," he will seek to please or ingratiate him/herself with whites, heterosexuals, men, Christians, etc. and try mime their behavior and appearances. (Uncle Tom's behavior in this arena often descends to the point of subservience.) He may very well be supportive of women's rights, gay rights, racial equality, etc. but is convinced that the best way to achieve these goals is through courts, legislatures, and other areas of mainstream politics. Uncle Tom blames any lack of progress on radical and stereotypical counterparts who "make the rest of us look bad." **Identity Politics thinks that Uncle Tom is a picture of false consciousness, a straight/white/etc.-wannabe who betrays his identity in order to fit in. Uncle Tom, in turn, thinks that Identity Politics is just an attention-starved child who is more concerned with shock value than real change. Another note: Identity Politics may sound similar to Ethnix, but is different, because there is no question (though some will question it, anyway) that he/she is committed to his/her cause. Apologies for the multiple posts...I can be rather verbose at times :-)
Straw Man: This is the person who oversimplifies your arguments, twists your words, puts words in your mouth, or otherwise misrepresents your ideas. For example, if you say you believe in gun rights, he will later say "Well, you SAID that you think 12-year-olds should be able to own machine guns." Or, if you tell Bob, "Your remarks could be construed as racist," he will later remark, "When you called Bob a racist..." You can never be sure whether Straw Man sincerely misunderstands your argument or is deliberately misrepresenting it (so that he can attack it more easily) because either he doesn't like you or is incapable of responding to your argument as it's actually presented. Regardless, he is proof of the phrase "You have the right to remain silent; anything you say can and will be misquoted and used against you."
Fonz: Is a conceited male who believes that he is gods gift to women. He is ussually a evolved pervert and is allies with the cyber sisters. He is willing to stand up for the girls but stands down if insulted. HINT:Do not aim for the Fonz when you are battling him. His weakness is those he is trying to impress.
a category for those types of people who are pure objectivists. You know those types of people who 1. Are obsessed with science and the scientific method and believe are incenced by those who disrespect science. In their opinion, is it doesn't conform to science or logic, it's utter bull. 2. Will provide the calculations and figures for virtually anything you throw at them. After all, the only truth lies in numbers.
Archaeologist's specialty is the exhuming of long-dead arguments when he has finally chanced upon more evidence to prove his case. Often a Source Parrot with a lot of patience and time on his hands, Archaeologist is normally a relatively weak Warrior, because no matter how effective his arguments, he will be shouted down by the rest of the group, who don't want to see the argument resumed. His natural ally is Archivist. In short, Archaeologist is just a Necromancer on a mission.
Seagull: Arrives at a forum, makes a lot of noise, craps over everyone and everything, and leaves. (A counterpart to Howler?)
I think I'm going to suggest a catagory called dyslexix einstien. For people with intellegent and thought out views who for some reason spell like a monkey who really needs to pee. While popular targets of nit picks and grammarians these attacks are rarely effective
a Fanboy counterpart, Hater. Hater absolutely hates one subject with such a passion that everyone else must realise how much it sucks. Haters will also frequently post on message boards of artists or whatnot of what he has an intense hatred for - and degrade not only the artist ot whatnot - but also the fans, as well. It's just just Fanboys that he target - it's anyone who's happen to be a fan of what Hater has an intense dislike for. More often than not, Haters will travel in packs - and most likely congregate at another board, but often under different names so the the fans from that board cannot seek revenge on them.
A companion to Fanboy is Sheep, who agrees with everything their fave band does, and attacks anyone who dares to make a comment disagreeing with a move the band makes. Usually found on Kiss sites, but prevalent elsewhere.
second comment to rebute.
The sheep I know rarely fight at all, they just swamp you with comments like "If you don't like it, leave!" or "You're not a real fan!&quot; which isn't really fighting, but is darned irritating. I wouldn't say they count as MeToo, cuz they rarely attach themselves to a particular person, but tend to band together to defend a cause. They can't be reasoned with either, and they never respect the opinions of other ppl. Sheep would go in the same Warrior group as Coffee Klatch or Furious Typer: not a very powerful warrior, but still very hard to defeat as when he gets into an argument with someone all his fellow Sheep come to defend him with vacuous comments. Believe me, I've been there, trying hard to fend off a Sheep attack... trying not to lose my temper with them and also trying to get my point across in a mature manner. In the end, after calling in a mate to help me out, I had to ask a mod to lock the thread cuz the sheep just wouldn't quit.
Sheep comment by another guest
To be honest, I thing 'Me too' covers the 'Sheep' pretty much. First of all the arch-typical 'sheep' is one who doesn't follow fan boys, nerds or other possible outcasts, but the ones who are the most popular, have the biggest mouths to gain some or that popularity himself. Second, sheeps are herd-animals and tend not to flock with loners, but with groups. Third the Sheep that fights to impress the big guys basically is a 'Me-Too' (too insecure to fight alone) and the sheep that doesn't fight is almost a sycophant except for the butt-kissing.
The attention whore (mostly female) is one who craves for confirmation of her existence by others. She can be extremely friendly, social and easy-going but her friendly demeanor is but a fašade for her true personality: a ruthless, unscrupulous egomaniac. After crawling under the skins of many Flame Warriors with her simple charm she’ll try to pull all attention on the board or forum to herself; always trying to be the center of the attention. One of the first signs of an Attention Whore is that they mostly are omnipresent on the board but never post anything of any relevance and add nothing to the current topics. Her frivolous personality is sometimes enough to upset the fragile balance of a topic and send it either on a endless and pointless sidetrack and lowering the level of a topic to such a depth that all interest for the topic is lost and suffocates. As soon the Attention Whore notices that people are starting to have enough of her ever-present personality she will start to utilize more extreme measures to acquire the attention she so desperately craves for. The Attention Whore’s weapons range from sadistic jokes over the backs of others to making post with overly sexual or profane content. The Attention Whore’s defenses are mostly based on pleading for her innocence like “just kidding, don’t you have a sense of humor,” “I’ve had lots worse than that, so you could take it,” “you don’t know anything about the whole case” or “there’s a freedom of speech on this board,” completely ignoring the Netiquette and finding universal excuses for her bad behavior which some of the enchanted Flame Warriors actually believe. When these primary defenses are knocked down the Attention Whore resorts to childish nagging, flooding the board with angry posts, eye-for-an-eye tactics and whining. She is also good at amassing several friend around her, with her social skills and butt-kissing, often forming a Cyber Sisterhood. When the Attention Whore is down or feels threatened she’ll enjoy the protection from her pack, who na´vely believe in her good heart and ways. The greatest power of the Attention Whore is her inability to see her own flaws: since the Attention Whore is the center of her own tiny universe she’s always right and she thinks nobody is able to see that. Her extremely egocentric view on the world renders her completely blind to the ideas, motives and tactics of other Warriors. She has completely no insight into her enemies and is always convinced that she’ll win with her next attack. The greatest enemies of the Attention Whore are the Therapist and the Philosopher who both are able to completely undermine her defenses and with reason and to tear down her fictional egocentric world. Amongst the allies of the Attention Whore are the Toxic Granny, Innocence Abused, Cyber Sisters, Weenie and Coffee Klatch who’ve all been enthralled by her infectious frivolity and almost her willing slaves: her ability to win the hearts of many shallow people makes her a fearsome opponent with almost an army of allies.
Fallen Angel is a former regular and positive contributor of the board who for some reason (disagreement with current admin, defeat in various battles), has become bitter and disruptive and no longer posts any material of substance, aside from long exegeses on how various board regulars have betrayed them. Fallen Angel is forever claiming to be leaving the board and is deeply wounded when they fail to draw the attention and sympathy they obviously deserve. While Angel can be a frustrating opponent, alternately withering and whining, for the most part attacks only make this warrior stronger, as they reinforce the sense of wrongedness that now defines their very identity.
Sorry to spam your guestbook, Mike, but I had another thought about the 'uberbrain' idea. I think you should make an 'uberbrain' type warrior (but choose a different title), except with a twist: the uberbrain warrior is a myth! So the whole description could be explaining how the uberbrain is a myth and doesn't really exist. And you could use my line below: "If someone really was an uberbrain, they wouldn't be one." I know this warrior has been suggested a lot, so I think the MYTHICAL uberbrain warrior would be a good addition.
Uber-Brain is an idea that has appeared regularly, though always under a different name. Uberbrain is like a genius in real life: if people say someone is a genius they almost never are, if someone is really a genius other people almost never recognize it until they are old or (more often) after they are dead, and the real thing is so extraordinarily rare that even in an entire lifetime most people never encounter the genuine article. Many times i have encountered Godfather, and Royals, and Admin, and Nanny, and Kung Fu Master in forums where the average forum citizens believed they were in the presence of an Uberbrain. But they weren't, they were just suffering from 'big fish in a small pond' effect. BUT MORE THAN ALL THAT: The very very few individuals who would be able to accurately identify a genuine uberbrain, are also wise enough to understand that the whole idea of an uberbrain, as with the idea of 'genius', is just plain silly.
Or, to put it another way, if someone was really an uberbrain, they wouldn't be.
No label, but it is Hater
I think that a counterpart to the Fanboy is required: The person who absolutely hates one subject with such a passion that everyone else must realize how much it sucks.
Where's the Grayhound mafia on your list ? They haunt dog chat forums jumping on anyone who has decided to get a new dog and try to persuade them to get a grayhund Anyone who resist's and dares to buy a breed considered to be "posh" or god forbid buy a cute litle fluffy breed will be burned at the stake(or at the least ignored) new Grayhound owners are welcomed with open arms Threads are often started that can only be understood by people on the 'inside' Non gray owners are often left wondering whilst reading the seemingly none sence threads what exactly went on last night during one of the grays gatherings. But alas they will never find out until they too are part of the "grayhound mafia "
there should be new warrior(s): hijackers! these are people who hijack forums' threads and take them off their intended cource by posting off topic stuff and such
Torquemada: Like Admin, he holds the power to ban users he finds offensive. Unlike Admin, he is perhaps the only one who finds them offensive. Admin may be the natural enemy of Jerk and L'Enfant Provocateur, but Torquemada will often ignore - or even aid and abet - those warriors if they support Torquemada's views. Torquemada's real enemies are those that don't think like he does - and his real enemies, therefore, are Issues on the "wrong" side of the subject. A particularly conservative-allied Torquemada might attempt to take out Atheist, Weenie, and Ideologue, while liberal-allied Torquemadae might pick fights with Deacon, Capitalista, and Ideologue. Only the Sycophant is truly safe from the Torquemada, however, as as soon as the 'traitors' are rooted out, Torquemada soon starts turning attention to his own. Voices of reason, such as Diplomat and Kung Fu Master can be silenced. Torquemada's main weakness is that not only does he tend to inspire more Rebel Leaders than usual, but that other warriors of all type
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I wholeheartedly agree with the Torquemada warrior. They often are the close ally of Royals, Godfather, or - occasionally - Rebel Leader. In such positions they are truly terrifying, as they not only launch their own occasional Inquisition, they also are the instrument used in brute force forum purges and assassinations. Mafia Torquemadas prefer the occasional targeted assassination, Rebel Torquemadas will occasionally start "Reign Of Terror" like purges. Torquemadas leading a Royalist inquisition tend to fall in between the two. Standalone Torquemadas are much less threatening, as they're almost universally loathed and will be picked off by Admin or a Rebel Leader.
Torquemada is, of course, a famous figure in the Spanish Inquisition. The true difference between Torquemada and other power players is that Torquemada has some agenda at hand. Godfather (when an admin or when a 'mafia' member is admin) will often be up to similar dirty tricks, but generally makes no bones about it ("It's only business, capice? Nothing personal.") Sometimes Nanny will have a mental breakdown and fling what seems like half the list/forum out the door. Torquemada, however, has some sort of position, and everyone who disagrees with him/her must burn at the stake.
The diagnostic trait of Torquemada is that Torquemada intends to quash all dissent on some issue. In that regard, Torquemada is much like Issues with admin power. Anyone who is not endlessly hung up on, and eternally persecuting the opponents of, some issue, is not a Torquemada. Some warriors such as Admin, Nanny, and Godfather, often have a personal shoot-on-sight rule about certain types of warriors (Rebel Leader, Troller, Agent, Perv, and Trollop are popular targets), but this isn't really Torquemada. Nobody is really safe from Torquemada because his Inquisition is always looking for offense.
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I agree, Torquemada would be a great addition (although i can't say how i feel about the name, since i'd never heard of Torquemada before). Torquemada, sadly, is a very common warrior, i have been bullied or forced out of numerous forums by Torquemada. His tactics range from simple cloying threats of official action and self-serving rule changes, to editing posts (often secretly), deleting posts (almost always secretly), and even outright banning. Contemporary Torquemadas usually try to cover up their dirty work (for example: by not leaving any notice when they delete posts or threads they don't like) in order to make it more difficult for any Rebel Leader's to be successful. Most forum admins turn into Torquemada when they get into a debate with a warrior stronger than they are. In a sad commentary on human psychology, the vast majority of warriors (of all persuasions) turn into Sycophant when Torquemada rears his ugly head, turning their backs on their former forum friends who were audacious enough to incite Torquemada's unrighteous indignation.
The Uber-Brain is a terrifyingly intelligent Warrior. For the most part he is a constructive member of his community, and is always willing to share his encyclopedic knowledge with anyone who asks. Uber-Brain is a natural enemy of unthinking Warriors like Filibuster, Furious Typer and Tireless Rebutter and, despite his placid demeanor, will cut their arguments to pieces with machinelike efficiency. Uber-Brain usually gets along well with Admin and Eagle Scout, while Jerk and Evil Clown tend to keep their distance.
The Source Parrot.
Source Parrots are warriors that have little to say on their own and are more commonly to be found as political warriors. They have no true arguments of their own and instead will post link after link of websites that gives credit to their own argument while conviently not mentioning any articles that don't strictly favor Source Parrot. When cornered and found that their ability to use Google is failing, Source Parrot will quickly fall back to name calling while still insisting that they are right on their position, despite having actually said very little themselves. Source Parrots will usually ally themselves with political warriors of similar ideologies. Unfortunately though, Source Parrot has little to no defense at all once their shield of internet sources is destroyed and will topple quickly soon after. CAUTION: A Source Parrot, while very poor in one-on-one battle can turn the tide of battle when employed as a support unit with most Flame Wa
One that I have seen a lot of is Pharoah. He relentlessly goes from forum to forum posting every pyramyd scheme he can find or is currently involved in, knowing somewhere, someone is going to fall for it hook, line, sinker, rod, reel and part of the dock. Most warriors see Pharoah for what he is, although Typhoid Mary is a likely victim. Admin tends to make sure his postcount never makes it out of the lower single digits.
It would be something like a Chimera; a beastly blend of a multitude of identities. Unlike the Imposter, the Chimera would infact be all that it claims to be. Whether it has delusions of grandure or multiple personality syndrome is unknown. It has the ability to attack on all fronts and defend itself effectively
I like the Bizarro Fanboy idea - even though I think a better term might be Hater. Haters will also frequently post on message boards og artists or whatnot of what he has an intense hatred for - and degrade not only the artist ot whatnot - but also the fans, as well. It's just just Fanboys that he target - it's anyone who's happen to be a fan of what Hater has an intense dislike for. More often than not, Haters will travel in packs - and most likely congregate at another board, but often under different names so the the fans from that board cannot seek revenge on them.
I am missing the ADVERTISING APE in your Warrior List, someone woh is advertising WEBLINKS to off-topic websites made for only one reason: earning some money. I think a picture of the Webmaster should be applyed on that Warrior Profile.
Critic believes he is an authority on culture. He continually chimes in with derogatory remarks and reviews on popular music, popcorn flicks, and trendy television programs. His analysis is usually littered with big words and sweeping generalizations but little meat, and while he tries to appear to be an expert, a telling lack of research on the subject at hand will show around the edges. Evil Clown will sometimes cite one of Critic's assaults on a particular item if he is trying to bait a Fanboy. And speaking of which, Critic is seldom popular with Fanboys and while he does take some pleasure (and renewed assurance of his own superiority) in enraging one, he can go too far and incite the wrath of a large number of Fanboys, thus ensuring his defeat and possibly driving him from the forum. (He will, of course, present any retreat on a subject as merely removing himself to more cultured company and mention that Internet Forums are beneath him anyway, as he usually spends his free time sipping Merlot and reading
Author fancies himself as a writer, frequently in the high-literary sense. Fanboys who like "popular trash" and comic books may find themselves in Author's crosshairs with little provocation. Author ALWAYS has "a draft or three" in progress, and may chat up about random topics with an air of authority, citing them as subjects in his current work(s) in progress. Author often posts passages of his work to the forum but never for critiques, only to demonstrate is ability as word-smith and will react with dismissive hostility to comments which do not praise with pithy rebuttals such as "try reading again after you've finished all your Goldenbooks". Author has a strong affinity for Grammarian and the two will mutually support one another in battle, but woe be the Grammarian to turns on an Author who does not realize his own prose is... lacking in technical polish.
Bizarro Fanboy: hey, this could make a neat companion to Fanboy! You know there are people who have irrational hatred for particular items, usually very very specialized and specific, and they cannot STAND serious fans of those. To them, such fans are the lowest form of life. Bizarro Fanboy is Fanboy's arch-nemesis. Whevever Fanboy goes, Bizarro Fanboy bitterly stalks him and never gives up. While somewhat similar to the Dualists, Bizarro Fanboy isn't necessarily focused on a single Fanboy by name, but all Fanboys of a specific affiliation. Bizarro Fanboy may actually stay quiet on his subject of hatred in the absense of appreciation or displays of love for it, but the moment a positive (or obsessed) mention is made, he will spring into action without fail. More compassionate warriors sometimes will spring to a Fanboy's defense if the Fanboy doesn't start things first (which is frequently the case, as Bizarro Fanboy is extremely predatory when prey is around).
Apologist - A strange and annoying crossbreed of Mediator and Bliss Ninny, the Apologist takes it upon himself to apologize for the actions of everyone else in the forum. Even in forums that are renowned for their bitter flame wars and tremendous 'net battles, the Apologist always emerges to assure the world that "he didn't mean that, he's had a hard day," or "this isn't really what usually goes on here". While newcomers to the forum may give Apologist a shred of credibility, most warriors simply ignore him as they charge into battle. Of course, the likes of Evil Clown and Jerk take potshots at the Apologist whenever they can, which might start another war if Weenie and Fragile Femme spring to his defense - all while the Apologist insists that he never meant for anything like this to happen.
How about 'Double Trouble'. Double Trouble doesn't make one post, she makes two, or three, it all depends on how many times she clicks the 'send' button before she is satisfied that her message was actually sent. What distinguishes Double Trouble from other flame warriors, is that for Double Trouble one click is never enough. Whether Double Trouble's peculiar multi-click fetish is due to stupidity, ignorance, inexperience, or simple obsessive compulsive disorder is unclear, but for whatever reason, Double Trouble remains perpetually unable to control herself. "Two clicks at a minimum," that's the Double Trouble motto. P.S. Jerk, Troller, or Evil Clown may pose as Double Trouble in order to irritate other forum members. p.s. j/k, no offense to the previous commenter :)
How about the `Assassin`? There`s always one, on any forum. The member who posts to a thread and it promptly dies a death, or, in more desperate attempts to integrate, start their own threads, which never take off!
The Hijacker maybe?
Who pops in and totally changes the course of a thread?
. I think you already have this but a Netizen that boils down to shouting hollow threats and shouting insults at his enemies after his arguements are defeated...he could be called an O'Riely?
Still waiting for ,"The Golf Pro". Sketchy but he jumps from golf forum to golf forum, a trooler, .......picture him and his books, equipment, awkward address, holes in wall.......espousing instruction contrary to widely held beliefs of a particular forum's members........
I'll just call it Mind Gamer for now. As you may have already guessed, Mind Gamer uses mind games as his weapon. At the beginning of the argument he will use mind games aimed at detecting the personality type of the victim. Once found, he will then use mind games designed to inflict damage directly at the weaknesses of that personality type. As the argument ensues, Mind Gamer pries more into the victim's personality, using even deadlier mind games. Mind Gamer is able to take full control of the argument, because knowing the personality type of the victim allows him to predict their every move. Throughout the argument Mind Gamer remains calm, gives the impression that he's not taking the victim seriously, does not use any obvious direct attacks, and keeps detail to a minimum; all of which makes him immune to numerous types of enemy attacks. Mind Gamer's attacks can be devastating, and can even con
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Mind Gamer sounds sort of like an agressive, manipulative incarnation of Therapist.
1. Lords and Ladies.
Lords and Ladies are the favorites amongst the admin, or the royals that could be pulling their strings (provided IF the admin or royal favors anyone). The Lords and Ladies do not hold any power over the forum in terms of moderating, or directly pulling the strings of a moderator like the royals, but They are the dream of all Sycophants, who desire the security that comes with the title of a Lord and Lady that they may not have attained just yet. Lords and Ladies could've easily been Sycophant in the past, but they have officially gained the sense of security with the Mod, or royal whether they tried or not. Often the best/close friend of the Royal or Admin, if anyone picks a fight with the Lords and Ladies, Knights of the round table, and (if there is a already a royal, admin or some other brave warrior present defending lords and ladies) the occasional Me-too of the forum who may be wishing to do some sucking up can pitch in to help.
2. Knights of the Round Table.
Knights of the Round table are the symbolically self proclaimed posse of the royals or admin and do their bidding, thus an occassional ally to Lords and Ladies. While this alliance towards the higher ups at the board may not even be noticed to them, Knights of the Round table have one common goal and duty for themselves: To protect the arguements or even the image of the royal or admins. It doesn't matter if the royal or the admin has been been caught in the wrong or if their defamatory dirty deeds are clearly true, Knights of the round table will always be there to defend them, differing from me-too in the sense that they can have the esteem to do one-on-one combat. They do not always need recognition or thanks from the mods or royals, many times they are simply content that they did their duty to help and can often times be upset at the fact others do not share such loyalty for those who "are gracious enough to keep the board running
Lark - To the casual observer, Lark may appear indistinguishable from Troglodyte, and will likewise post scurrilous, belligerently partisan or offensive content, riling up everyone from to the Cyber Sisters to Pinko. Lark is happy to trade barbs with the abovementioned, as well as Weenie, Issues, or even Deacon, but the moment his fickle attention is diverted elsewhere, he will thank the group for a fun discussion and bid everyone a happy weekend before disappearing, leaving other warriors still in mid-harangue dangerously overcommitted to now-recognizably trivial battles. Unlike L'Enfant Provocateur, Lark really believes his own outrageous statements, but has no interest in debate and sees fellow posters only as potential collaborators in his perpetual time-killing mission.
Hipster is a slave to hip culture, fashion, and detached, ironic humor (which of course, is percieved as cool and sly). Whichever way the winds of hip and trend blow, Hipster is there and will repeat the current ironic jests and satirical phrases ad nauseum, mock, bait, and attack whichever class of person is currently "uncool", and strive to detach his image from anything which is not in vogue in his particular social demographic. Hipster can be fairly aggresive and dogged; he generally will never let go of a particular topic until shifts in social climate cause it to lose popularity. The only real threat Hipster poses is numbers: Hipsters have a strong tendency to band together and one Hipster may attract a herd to the forum. A sufficient display of non-cool topics and venacular however, can drive Hipster away before this happens.
Actually, there seems to be room for more "accessories" and "items" like Grenade; this is unmined ground. For instance, one special Flame Warrior item that springs to mind is something like a "Cloak of Virtue". Any warrior can drape it over themselves to create the appearance of virtuous intentions with their attacks and warriors like Evil Clown and elite, intelligent Jerks might try to justify their cruel and rude behavior as being in the service of a greater good - like trying to force a "deluded" warrior to see the light with shock tactics or even allegedly to defend the forum with first strikes. However, eventually the tatters and loose threads in the cloak are noticed, and people realize that whatever good intentions being claimed are merely an excuse. A special note might be that some warriors have worn a cloak of virtue so long they really have convinced themselves that they're actually performing good deeds by indulging in whatever offensive behavior. These sad cases may be impossible to deal with if their delusion runs too deep, though Philosopher and Therapist may be driven by sheer high-brow pique to repeatedly attempt to enlighten or cure the afflicted warrior.
The Fanboy! Fanboys are fanatically loyal to a corporation or company and come down hard on anyone who says the slightest thing against them. Though they receive no obvious benefits from this, fanboys have an almost familial devotion to their chosen company/corporation. While not the most powerful of warriors, fanboys' diehard loyalty causes them to fight to the bitter end, meaning that they will usually win battles by out-enduring more skillful warriors. Their unexpected and vicious personal attacks can leave newbies and other weaker warriors stunned, and unable to retaliate. Their often over-serious attitude leaves fanboys vulnerable to attacks from Evil Clowns and Jerks. The picture could be a guy waving a company flag or something or perhaps worshipping a corporate sign. I go on games forums quite a lot and when I dare to criticise the game makers I often receive a barrage of attacks from 'fanboys' who a
Flipper - Some people can't make up their minds. Flipper represents those people. You know, the ones that keep changing sides in the middle of the fight. While some Warriors are resistant to every attack, Flipper's strategy seems to be to surrender to every counterargument easily and immediately change sides. In really heated arguments, Flipper might even start inadvertently fighting himself. All other Warriors greatly distrust Flipper for his inherent unreliability in battle. However, many of the less mature, or more sadistic, Warriors will sometimes mess with Flipper just for kicks. Archivists will sometimes get a touch of Evil Clown and torment Flipper with his previous stances on issues.
Three-toed Sloth - Some warriors are just plain slow. The Sloth isn't reviving old threads from the dead like Necromancer; rather, Sloth seems to read posts as they appear and then respond with the blazing speed and ferocity of a tranquilized slug. Often the battle between other Warriors will have moved on when Sloth's sluggish replies arrive on the field of battle. Sometimes this unexpected late arrival allows for a quick flank attack, but usually Sloth is hammered hard by its opponents.
How about "Linker" or something to that effect? You know - those idiots who, when they get into an argument, post a link to some page that supposedly proves their point, except the page take an hour to read. If someone doesn't read the link, they accuse them of not being intelligent enough to join the discussion,
Joined: 01 Jan 2005
Ok -- At some point I hope to separate out the more worthwhile suggestions. Mainly so someone can link directly to a particular warrior.
As this was the end crude working document I have left comments here and there as wll I have suggested names where none were provided. _________________ The important thing is knowing who owns the fence
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