| Author |
Message |
| < Strategy: How to avoid nomination for a USENET Kook Award |
|
 Posted:
Mon Jan 15, 2007 12:31 am
|
|
|
Forum Regular
Joined: 22 Oct 2006
Posts: 641
Location: The Comics Pages of Playboy
|
|
The same jitter that has become part of a duelist pair with Onideus Mad Hatter posted this guide to avoiding being nominated for a USENET kook award. So far, it's working for him (at least, I think it's a him. Whoever it is, I no longer think it's Bowtie, as I can't imagine Bowtie typing "for additional lulz" and "for extra lulz"--the guy is about 50 and that's a usage characteristic of people half his age, most of whom are female). FWIW, this only works on USENET. Bowtie's schtick isn't as known on web forums, so it can't be exploited.
Here goes!
| Quote: |
You know there's essentially an AUK awards loophole now, right? No
"kooks" will see it, because it's buried in some threads filled with
flaming, trolling, and general assholery, but it's been laid out for all
to find if they look.
In fact, let's lay it out right here (and lose X-No-Archive just for
this one post) to make it easier to find. It'll add to the fun. Froup
lits expanded for additional lulz.
AUK Award-Immunity Checklits
Time requirement: Plan to invest approximately 2-5 hours each day for
1-3 weeks. YMMV. But after this you're set for life, or at least for a
good goddamn long time, so the time investment might be worth it to you.
1. Nymshift so hard that your new nym can't be associated with your old
nym, even under close scrutiny. New name, new email, new sig.
Seriously consider using a different newsreader. Maybe even a different
news provider. And for fuck's sake, don't use a news provider that
sticks your IP address or FQDN in the header. You can use Google
Groups, but go through a web proxy like JAP or Tor or something.
2. Put "X-No-Archive: YES" at the top of every post from now on, or at
least for the next couple weeks.
3. Flame Onideus Mad Hatter relentlessly 5-10 times a day for a solid
week, and xpost every bit of it to AUK and his home group of alt.2600.
Add alt.flame and alt.fan.art-bell, too, just for extra lulz. Be sure
to post edit now and then, which has the same effect as throwing
gasoline on a fire (only without the 3rd-degree burns). Don't stop or
slow down for shit. Don't feel bad; OMH kinda likes the attention, and
he'll ignore you when you get tiresome.
4. Nom a "kookologist" for one of their own kook awards. Busted Urinal
is an easy one to apply to almost anyone. Don't be afraid to use lies
and post editing to reinforce your case. This will go over about as
well as serving pork chops for dinner at a mosque, so brace yourself for
all manner of flaming. Ignore it or flame back, your choice.
5. If anyone calls you "BowTie" or "Bowturd" or "Steve Young" deny it
and call them nuts. Refuse to "prove" it (you can't anyway). Imply
that the person is Steve's long lost crazy cat-hoarding girlfriend, or
something.
6. Find a kook that's engaged in a trollfest with a "kookologist" and
give the kook a little fuel and inspiration to help them out. Google is
your friend (hint, hint). Do this at least three or four times over the
course of a week or two.
7. After a couple weeks at the most, you'll be tagged as a "BowTie
sock" -- and immune from almost all AWK awards, because BowTie is immune and so are any of his sockpuppets. Including false sockpuppets like you. Congrats. Plonk any AUK regs that annoy you, forget them, and get on with life.
Special thanks to Steve "BowTie" Young for trolling AUK so hard as to
induce obsessions intense enough to make this possible. Give it up for
Steve, everybody! *w00t* (and the crowd goes wild) |
_________________
"Sometimes it's more important to have the right enemies than it is to have the right friends. In those cases, if you make the right enemies, you'll make the right friends."--Original. |
|
|
|
 |
|
| Posted:
Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:52 pm
|
|
|
irritus' minion
Joined: 03 Feb 2005
Posts: 1208
Location: Behind you with a chainsword...
|
|
| Or, you could always just avoid posting on Usenet, too. That's kept me safe. |
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted:
Mon Jan 15, 2007 4:40 pm
|
|
|
Forum Regular
Joined: 22 Oct 2006
Posts: 641
Location: The Comics Pages of Playboy
|
|
If you're really kooky enough, you can still win the Looney Maroon, or even the Bobo.
_________________
"Sometimes it's more important to have the right enemies than it is to have the right friends. In those cases, if you make the right enemies, you'll make the right friends."--Original. |
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted:
Mon Jan 15, 2007 8:49 pm
|
|
|
irritus' minion
Joined: 03 Feb 2005
Posts: 1208
Location: Behind you with a chainsword...
|
|
| Neon Vincent wrote: |
| If you're really kooky enough, you can still win the Looney Maroon, or even the Bobo. |
Well, hopefully I've never said anything weird enough to qualify. Hopefully. |
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted:
Mon Jan 15, 2007 11:41 pm
|
|
|
Forum Regular
Joined: 22 Oct 2006
Posts: 641
Location: The Comics Pages of Playboy
|
|
| ambosen wrote: |
| Neon Vincent wrote: |
| If you're really kooky enough, you can still win the Looney Maroon, or even the Bobo. |
Well, hopefully I've never said anything weird enough to qualify. Hopefully. |
If you haven't said anything as looney as Onideus Mad Hatter, don't worry. He's a well-known kook, and he hasn't won either of those.
_________________
"Sometimes it's more important to have the right enemies than it is to have the right friends. In those cases, if you make the right enemies, you'll make the right friends."--Original. |
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted:
Tue Jan 16, 2007 12:22 am
|
|
|
irritus' minion
Joined: 03 Feb 2005
Posts: 1208
Location: Behind you with a chainsword...
|
|
| Neon Vincent wrote: |
| ambosen wrote: |
| Neon Vincent wrote: |
| If you're really kooky enough, you can still win the Looney Maroon, or even the Bobo. |
Well, hopefully I've never said anything weird enough to qualify. Hopefully. |
If you haven't said anything as looney as Onideus Mad Hatter, don't worry. He's a well-known kook, and he hasn't won either of those. |
Yeah, about that... |
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted:
Tue Jan 16, 2007 5:43 am
|
|
|
Forum Regular
Joined: 22 Oct 2006
Posts: 641
Location: The Comics Pages of Playboy
|
|
| ambosen wrote: |
| Neon Vincent wrote: |
| ambosen wrote: |
| Neon Vincent wrote: |
| If you're really kooky enough, you can still win the Looney Maroon, or even the Bobo. |
Well, hopefully I've never said anything weird enough to qualify. Hopefully. |
If you haven't said anything as looney as Onideus Mad Hatter, don't worry. He's a well-known kook, and he hasn't won either of those. |
Yeah, about that... |
He seems to have fucked off, hasn't he?
_________________
"Sometimes it's more important to have the right enemies than it is to have the right friends. In those cases, if you make the right enemies, you'll make the right friends."--Original. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
All times are GMT - 6 Hours |
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
|
|
