Flame Warriors ~ View topic - Book Pt 3

Google Fiend:

When he sees an argument flare up, he instantly replies with pages upon pages of articles and websites that support his view. If anyone bothers to wade through all this, he will then respond with yet more web sites, statistics and quotes. Rarely makes an original statement, but his endless barrage of 'borrowed' material drives away nearly all who would disagree.

Real World Recourse

In the old comments, someone suggest a warrior that the admin fears. THERE IS ALREADY ONE! The admin warned to ban him, and then that famous flame warrior response by sueing the owner of the server. Finally the server is closed down and gone forever. The admin is then "defeated", of course.

(comment by Fence sitter - if I remember, it was a long shot going through the courts, there are many other options disgruntled people have used to get at the server)

The Satirical (Or sarcastic)

Someone who just posts scathing remarks to rile everyone up. (alot like one of your Warriors). Or perhaps "Too Late", have you noticed you will directly comment on one "member" on a contraversial issue and they will wait for an array of people to reply to your said post, and then they will pick one and plagarize it?

Phoenix:

A normal member, until one day will snap, and be banned by Admin. Will then come back in various usernames and viciously attack everyone, and alternately sometimes become J-and-H like and demand a 'second chance'. Can sometimes become an impostor too.

Mr. kewl

One that I thought of was "Mr. kewl." It's the guy who types almost entirely with "kEwLspeAk," the coded language of Internet Geeks who proudly write d00d instead of "Dude," kewl instead of "cool," or instead have a habit of typing everything like it was a vanity license plate....capitization be dammed. c wat i meen? d00 u? lol ur a l00zr&wll b klld by mah k@xor skillz l8erzzz. Usually Mr Kewl is also Lonely Man looking for respect, but can also be Evil Clown or Lamer. Most Mr Kewls are under 16, but there are a few older ones.

Troll

I would like to submit the Flame Warrior "TROLL" who posts topics only to erase a message board, and hides under a bridge of identitys.

Spammer

Almost forgot. I think there needs to be a flameWarrior called "Spammer." Nothing like getting those porn ads while your grandma is visiting.

Clipper (or the Parser)

The clipper doesn't usually have much original to say, but will take a posting he disagrees with and dissect it line for line. it is not enough for the clipper to attack the gist of the post, he must prove to the world that every thought, sentence and word is just wrong, wrong, wrong.

Fossil

I was wondering if there was an entry for the person who's been around since the dawn of computing, and loves to rub it in. The "Fossil" perhaps? This person was making a living with punch cards when the rest of us were learning to write our names. The Fossil loves to win every argument by talking about how it used to be, "back in the day", when things were really tough. Back then, they didn't even have computers, they just had big switches that were either on or off... back then, they had vacuum tubes and everyone wrote code in binary. etc etc

Statistician:

The only possible way to predict the future is with the past. A good friend of Archivist, Statistician will believe any trend will continue based on the numbers he has collected. Will often make longwinded, complex calculus math calculations to strengthen his stance. Seasoned warriors can deal with Statistician easily.

Jihad:

Much like Grenade, Jihad is established anytime a debate concerning international, political or ethnic subjects. Unless a Nanny is present, Jihad will wreck Godzilla-like damage to the forum. Either way, HILARIOUS site.

Omen

What about a character representing the guy who makes dire or ominous prophecies every day or so, waiting for the law of averages to make him appear like some kind of oracle? Maybe you could call him "omen" or "prophet" something like that.

Darwin

"Darwin" might prove an excellent addition-- someone who can't help but always connect a discussion of any topic to the fact that humans evolved from monkeys.

The Toaster

- one who converses entirely through popups. Most of their posts consist of amusing ASCII-art banners, with the occasional "hello hugs LOL" thrown in. Don't you love the way some people have replaced the comma with 'lol'?

Strafer

There's a poster, somewhere almost halfway between a lurker and a troll who will post once and never return to the thread. I propose "strafer" as a possible name.

The Forgetful

I think that there shoud be a flame warrior known as the forgetful or something like that. Always forgets to attach content mentioned in post, often several times, making several posts just to attach one file. For example, the person is talking about some great concept art they drew for a game, "here it is" they say. There is nothing attached. Their next post, consists simply of "oops, forgot to attach" this is repeated until the warrior remembers what they are doing long enough to attach a message. This warrior also overwhelms his opponent by his overwhelming numbers of consecutive posts, seeming not to acknowledge the existance of the "edit post" option. This behavior may be malicious or unwitting, but in either case it can bring even the strongest warrior to his knees.

Moderator.
Like, archangels to the Admin, some good some bad... you know the drill :

Emoticon Junky
Oh, and I missed Emoticon Junky, for those that love smilies too much. ;)

Ohlets suggest another Loler and 1337 and Smiley

. An idea that I have would be a person that I notice often, one whose conversation is replete with such expressions as 'lol' 'rofl', etc, as well as so called 'leet' or 'l33t' speak, and smileys.

Successful Cosplayer.

I remember we once had a guy who believed he was related to Sephiroth. Yes, yes, quite good, quite good, hahaha...but he was strangely very, very good at seeming like Sephiroth. There should be something for that. Granted, he was a Rebel Leader (A victorious one at that), but there should be something for the Successful Cosplayer.

Hypocrite

How about a 'Hypocrite'? This person can be found on several boards of similar nature, keeping the same identity on each board. On one board he posts one opinion, then on the other board he totally contradicts himself. For example on one board, he professes himself to be a forgiving, spiritual person; on the other board, he is quick to flame & rip others.

Hit-n-Run

But how about "Hit-n-Run", the Flame Warrior who carries on a normal debate, but towards the climax, things get very heated and he says, "Your opinion is wrong. Goodbye!" and then leaves before other warriors get a chance to respond.

Brother

How about the "Brother". Posts a million terrible things, flames and insults, then when punished claims it was the first time he'd been out of the house ever and his brother did it all. How unfair it all is and he'll never leave the house again promise promise.

Desperate Game Author

How about "Desperate Game Author", the type that writes a horrible game, uploads it to a website, then writes multiple positive reviews about his game in a desperate attempt to get people downloading and buying his software (for an example, goto http://download.com.com/3302-2095-4347697.html). "Desperate Game Author" takes every negative (honest) review very personally. Experienced Warriors will recognize his writing style and react accordingly (laughing behind his back).

Bots

What about those damn bots that are programmed to fake conversations just to trick you into visiting a website, usually porn sites. They are quite the clever marketing tool.

The Repeater

How about "The Repeater". THey simply-cut-and-paste same tripe over and over. Or repeat their previous messages over and over. More annoying than anything, and easily ignored.

The Hijacker.

This person tries to completely change the subject of a discussion because he wants one of the participants to react to his topic.

suggest Lazy

What do you call a person who joins a forum, and posts topics that are allready posted but he is too lazy to look for them? these same people also post silly topics like "what kind of ketchup do you use on your steaks" or something similar. The worst part is , when you correct these people, they tend to get irate, and immature...

suggest Finer Point

Suggestion (based on what I've been dealing with lately): a warrior who keeps insisting on a specific subject on a topic. When somebody replies to his post, he always says "you didn't understand it", or tries to put the poster down: "Is it too hard for you to get it? Let me repeat it, slower this time. See if you can catch up."

Account Sharer

An added type (seen more often in livetime places like IRC etc but I have seen them in forums as well) is the Account Sharer aka Cybil: Account Sharers launch an attack and cry "my evil sister/brother did it" alleging account-sharing access by someone else as the culprit, maddening and often a kid/teen (or at least portraying themselves as a kid/teen) who claims that their neighbor/little sibling shares or got ahold of their PC and account and ran amok. Can look alot like Jekyl and Hyde except for this beleagered excuse being given and it tends to be ongoing, back and forth good kid/bad kid. a variation is that the account is knowingly shared by two or more people who simply never bother to tell you at all when the keyboard has been passed back and forth, very effective and entirely maddening, it often takes a bit of time before other warriors realize what's going on. Attempts to cajole the actual account owner into taking control over and limiting access to their account are usually met with extensively detailed whined excuses ("but I had to take the trash out and Little BillyBob snuck up on the computer then when I had to leave to do my homework" "Mom says I have to let him on it" etc etc.

Woman Hater

A good Flame Warrior would be "Woman Hater" who's been hurt by a woman in his past, and now hates all women! Plus, of course, "Feminist" the female counterpart!

Masochist

You forgot the Masochist.. throws him/herself into any discussion to protect another warrior or just for the fun of it.. seems to actually enjoy it most of the time.. btw.. I'm a yukyuk loopy kungfu master lurker.. and as a true one, i enjoy it.. :P

Music Groupie

But one more I would add is music groupie whether it be rap, rock or whatever. You know, the people who idolize some band or singer and NEVER STOP TALKING ABOUT THEM. Another is probably a small minority but as an Imposter myself, I often use the guise of famous people or characters such as Tim the Enchanter from the Monty Python movie.

and they had some more ideas
sorry for 2 entrys...Needed chars...the oldtimer, the wannabe, the expert, the yesman, the one word poster, the leet kid, the been-there-done-that guy, the Vigalante, the cameleon(sp), I have more but I'll wait until you contact me...:)

Medic:

For one reason or another, Medic feels an obligation to the well-being of the forum. Thus, rather than engage in actual combat, he tends to watch from the sidelines, waiting for a fellow Warrior to fall, at which point he will rush to his side and tend to his wounds. Medic would like for the battle to end, but unlike Diplomat, he is content to simply minimize the casualties. Often a longtime member of the forum, Medic really just wants to make sure no lasting damage is done. A Medic will sometimes strike out at Warriors who want to cause trouble (such as Rebel Without a Clue), but as his Hippocratic oath prevents him from using most effective strategies, he will almost invariably fall in battle unless a more powerful "patient" steps in. Medics often come out in force at the first sign of a Grenade, and their presence is almost mandatory to prevent accidental harm coming from Admin's attacks.

Siblings:

The oddest of Flame Warriors, Siblings are most commonly seen in twos, but can occur in greater numbers. Siblings may be new friends or old friends, and they may or may not know each other in the real world, but their behavior is the same: they tease each other or outright fight, sometimes appearing to be Duelists, but it's all in good fun. Siblings have been known to keep their friendship secret, but usually everyone knows it's all just a game to them--even Newbies tend to pick up on this fairly quickly. Although they may appear to be enemies under some circumstances, they will rush to each others' aide in Cyber Sister-like fashion if needed. Siblings have the rare ability to end combat (or any discussion, for that matter) quickly and efficiently by strategically placing themselves on opposite sides of an issue, thus turning it into a big joke; conversely, if they team up in battle, their combined blows can obliterate opposition--the mere sight of them being serious is enough to scare away most pote

The Sneak Attack

How about "Cut & Run" or "The Sneak Attack"? No email left to avoid the spam email harvesters; fact or fiction?

Quixotic

Terrific caricatures! Is Quixotic on your list?

NoOriginalThought

How about NoOriginalThought.........he always posts articles or commentary that is never his own........hehehe......and is a worthy opponant as he only copies previously fought out arguements

The Grifter

I'd like to suggest the male counterpart of the Siren (which is a really good suggetion). I'd call him 'The Grifter'. This guy plays up to all the women (no woman is safe, from granny to school girl) and is patronizing to the max. Unfortunately, the women who fall prey to his charm don't know the meaning of the word and eat it up. He calls them all 'sweetheart' or other endearing term and if someone objects he goes on the attack, accusing them of being 'male bashers' and lesbians to boot. He may exibit traits of 'jerk', 'compost' or 'jekyll and hyde' before he resorts to 'crybaby' or 'innocence' quickly mobilizing his 'harem' into defending his good intentions. Might as well add 'the harem' to your flamers too. They tend to flirt, tease and play up to The Grifter, never realizing they are merely pawns in his game. rose

1337

The one type of "warrior" your lacking on the site, is the Leet Geek, who will always resort to terms such as Sux0r or phrases like "dun mess wif me or i'll haXX0r j00"

L337 0|\|3-

"leet one" one who typically results to l337 $P34k to "one-up" l337 illterate opponents.. Knight- simply a more knowledgable and experience Eagle Scout whose nobility and loyalty extend over one or more home forums..

Butterfly

How about creating the "Butterfly"? The butterfly is the person who flits from forum to forum, replying to arguments here and there, and never staying long enough to really particpate in anything... From a veteran Butterfly

The Zombie:

A rare, but very annoying warrior. After his mostly indictable flames in the discussion board his posts are deleted by Nanny and Admin killed and buried him, but soon he will resurface under the cloak of another nick and post quickly many artikels full of hideous and indecent content. But due to his very characteristic style of writing he is quickly unmasked, gets some serious beating by the other warriors or some laughter (much worse for him...) and is then buried again by admin... But he will return again and again from his grave... The he never pretends to be another person (Difference to imposter), and he never leaves voluntary, but is always kicked out. Especially compost may turn into a zombie... Greetings Mike...

suggest Desparate

I agree with the Siren idea. But there's another one: the guy who agrees with ANY women, even if she's not the Siren. I've seen it happen a lot, although I can't figure where they expect to get. Can think of a name to this guy, but believe me: he's real.

The Siren.

Unlike The Strumpet, she isn't in anyway crude, but demurely seductive. She derails any topic at hand by using sex appeal to draw attention to herself with how attractive she is, even going so far as to share pictures of herself (or at least that she claims to be herself). If attacked for her attention seeking and threadjacking she will take on The Crybaby personality and act offended, confident all the men drooling over her will come to her defense. Ultimately, the Admin disposes of her for being too disruptive, as there is no way to attack her other than insults.

comment by another guest
The Siren. I totally support the idea. Strumpet, Ego, Fragile Femme and Crybaby all share something with Siren, but none of them shares the property of The Siren actually being able to get members of the opposite sex to their defence when confronted. Been there, done that.. not having actually been The Siren, but having been one to come to a Siren's defence :)

Fannut

Oh, thank God I found this site! I'm so much a newbe. I'm a mom of two and walked into a Blue's clue's,(kids show), Donovan Patton fan site message board. I got blasted to ashes. A few stuped miss steps on my part and I was piggy from Lord Of The Flyes. This one nut freaked me out pretty bad. I don't see her hear or just didn't find her. O.K, this is a fan site, the guy it's about is young and good looking. Lots of single moms hoping to marry him. Also, young girls say 15 hoping the same. Donovan's(the guy) Father also comes on site from time to time to answer questions. That's the picture. Dad is King, All women trying to impress, in mind, my one day be father in law, maybe meet there love threw him ect. A nest of lonely stockers, maybe not totally but anough. I'm happy, married, new, bad net skills, smart ass maybe a bit,jump right in, am bold and get killed, bye a Flame Warrior. I'll call her Fannut. She is like the rat because she does not post on board untill the end. I got the most hateful emails sent to me bye her.

The Loner

Hope this hasn't been mentioned yet....the member who wants to be e-mail buddies with *everybody*....the member who thinks everyone is talking via pm behind their back....and my own description....The Loner....Never pm's or e-mails other members. Well known, yet not known.

Batman

Or my other form...Batman....You can say whatever you want to me, I'm so tough I don't care. But you mess with somebody, even an eneny, for no reason....I swoop down and kick butt....in the name of justice!

Racist

You might create a Racist warrior, I have been seeing a lot of those lately, unfortunately.

The Psycho Bitch From Hell

She demands the right to post in every thread and insists she has the right to be heard by everyone. I'd love to see this as an addition.

1337

It'd be nice to see a 'r337 H4><0R D00D!!!!11 in there somewhere, come to think of it. And, while I'm on the topic, how about 'omg u aoluser stfu n00b hahaha rofltncowomao', Master of the Instant Messenger. Just a couple of thoughts for the next release. Keep it up. This is great stuff.

n00b

Real nice work there. I'd however like to see one with n00b also :)

Negator Bigoter

How about one for "Negator Bigoter" whose repeated and only response to all arguments is a firm "No, you are wrong".

suggest Moderators

But, I would like to request one that specifically covers Moderators!! After all, I am one, and I need to have a good laugh at myself :D

Lone Gunman

"Lone Gunman" or "Ninja?" This is the character who participates in regular discussion like a normal(?) human being, but when someone comes along and pisses him/her off, he/she will stop at nothing to take down and utterly DESTROY the person in question, including following that person to other BBSes/Forums/Message Boards. Strangely, I have been the Lone Gunman at times, taking on a single individual and whomping him (always a him) into the ground. Strange, particularly, because I happen to be female....

followup comment by another guest
I should very much hope that "Lone Gunman" / "Ninja" is distinct from Sock Puppeteer / Phantom Hydra and other outright CyberStalkers in eschewing personal attack, evil gossip and bullying conspiracy (often quite destructively even extending Offline as well!) in favor of anything at all more on topic, cogent and pertinent.

The Loop

What about The Loop? The person, usually having belonged to a forum that focuses on a specific subject for a long while, that continually repeats "original" diatribe until their fellow posters can predict their responses word for word. They can be a formidable opponent to Newbies and the weaker Warriors, especially. And seasoned Warriors, even those appreciative of their opinions, are turned off by the absolute neverending repetition of their few valid contributions to the discussion.

Dancer

"Dancer", the one that manages to take part in every argument without ever being the target of massive attacks and who's too quick on his/her feet to be defeated. They can successfully annoy the big bullies without being chewed to bits, thanks to their humoristic stance which attracks the majority to their side. Nobody really hate them. Nobody really like them, perhaps, if they're too clever. They tend to get away on their own after a time, when they don't find the game amusing, i.e. when they know everyone's weak points too well and there's no sport in it anymore. I confess to a tendancy to be a little of a Dancer myself ;-)

suggest Netty Slang

You you forgot to mention those teeny-bopper girls who overuse computer slang like "lol," "k," and "rotflmao!" Plus, they have no regard for grammar or spelling and annoy even the most mild-mannered forum member by saying things like "KeWL!!!!" "OhMyGOSH!" "ThaTA ROXS!!!!" They always seem to randomly capitalize letters. I'm not sure why or how this happens, but it does.
Brainiac

"Braniac" These guys will stand on their soapbox and try to dazzle you with their brillance; or is it BS

A comment by a guest on lots of different warriors.

"What about the guy (usually) that says "This will be my last post on this topic" but then posts again..and again....." Answer: The multiple false exit defines Columbo And it would not be just any lawyer or paralegal commentator, but the dreaded Litigant who panics Liabilityphobe into shutting down forums and purging the archives suddenly and without prior consultation. Litigant is often triggered, in the first place, by the secretive and out of context quotations and straw man arguments widely disseminated by Devious Cross-Poster (not to be confused with any open and legitimate sensible cross-posts that never the less draw down the wrath of the Netiquette Nazis and raving Xenophobes or even the Weenie for such "insensitivity"). And leave us not forget the notorious and noxious Sock Puppeteer, a many-headed Hydra-like imaginary clique of bullies all in one, employing numerous false identities even on the same forum, often a vicious Cyber-Stalker persecuting their frantic fleeing target from one community to the next whil

And leave us not forget the notorious and noxious Sock Puppeteer, a many-headed Hydra-like imaginary clique of bullies all in one, employing numerous false identities even on the same forum, often a vicious Cyber-Stalker persecuting their frantic fleeing target from one community to the next while intimidating all others into silence. (http://www.FoolQuest.com/cliquebusters.htm) Not to mention the mercifully more settled Pet Monster, an Evil Clown Sniper fawned upon and defended as just so cute, cuddly and funny by the other bullies in the clique, while spewing his often somewhat Garbled toxins upon the unwary. Indeed, yes, clearly there are a wider range of tactics for Garble, as many ways as there are for a post to be garbled in the first place, and, more over, then to be more garbled and just all Stone Deaf to all pleas for merciful clarification and lucidity! A thorny trap for Tenacious Disputer, of course, into attack by all manner of ever "sensitive" Weenies, Rats, Crybabies and ultimately the Nanny, as t

Indeed, yes, clearly there are a wider range of tactics for Garble, as many ways as there are for a post to be garbled in the first place, and, more over, then to be more garbled and just all Stone Deaf to all pleas for merciful clarification and lucidity! A thorny trap for Tenacious Disputer, of course, into attack by all manner of ever "sensitive" Weenies, Rats, Crybabies and ultimately the Nanny, as the uncaring and self-absorbed Garble is coddled as an innocent half-wit. (And, yes, all classic Transactional Analysis.)

Seagull

Love the site, but I'm not reading 800+ guestbook entries to see if Seagull has been sugusted. You know the type. Hit and run tactics, posts one message to a lot of forums, no indication that they are reading any reply, sometimes comes back and posts a second message, still no indication they are reading any reply. Called Seagull because they only leave crap behind. Even Admin can not touch Seagull. You can only clean up the mess so no one else has to look at it. Other flame warriors may feel obligated to post replies but there will be no change in behavior.

Clan of Cavemen

I am very very fond of the Troglodyte. Your version, however, is a mere pawn, hehe. There is the clan of cavemen, the merciless, leading and powerful troglodytes :)

E-Thug

I think you forgot E-Thug, who will threaten to harm you physically if you're ever in his city of residence or just talk about how he could.

followup by another guest
We must have the E-Thug!!!

You don't have the GodModder or Damsel in Distress, both from boards or chat rooms that have role playing game elements...

GodModder- he is immortal and invulnerable to all attacks. Annoys everybody with his disdain for the rules of the RPG and ends up being ignored. Often challenges established players to duels by taunting them.

Damsel in Distress - usually a young teenage girl looking for attention in a chat room. She will say that her character is ill or dying and becomes sulky if no one tries to revive her. Some boys, looking for some nooky, will do so. Others will ignore her, leading to big scenes where she yells at people for ignoring her.

Submissive Protagonist

- usually female, the submissive Antagonist is also sensitive and tries to avoid conflict. Because of this sensitivity however, she will inevitably become angered at another member of the forum and launch a sharp, passionate, but brief attack. When her attack is rebutted, however, she replies with an apology to the member she attacked, conceding her position and pointing out her own character flaws (and/or sensitivites) to explain her launching the offensive. -...

Prolific Plagiariser

Prolific Plagiariser post reams of text running into hundreds of lines and a thousand lines is not unknown. And does so 10, 20 or 30 times a day to back up a position that more often than not is off topic. At some point a sentence rings a bell, maybe with Archivist or Rebutter, and it turns out that the novels that have been posted are a copy/paste efforts of other web sites presented as his own effort. When challenged Prolific Plagiariser will deny until evidence is presented and then will deny that it matters. Rather lame and defenceless when forced to use his own initiative which is why he depended on plagiarism in the first place. Not very bright and it is doubtful if he reads any of the reams he copy/pastes and more than once a posting will actually contradict Prolific Plagiariser's original argument. For a time he may impress other less cluey warriors but soon all tire of him and he depends on Newbie forum members for continued attention.

Stalker.

When Stalker becomes obsessed enough with another cyber combatant, he /she researches the targets posts on www.deja.com and finds out where else the target posts and then follows the target around from newsgroup to newsgroup --- often creating new identities.

Huggie.

This person just responds to EVERY post in their thread with excessive "thankyous" and always ends with "hugs" or "huggies" (plus duff smilies).

suggest I'm Leaving

What about the guy (usually) that says "This will be my last post on this topic" but then posts again..and again.....and again............and again............................and again ......................and again.....................................................

The wind-up toy.

It's attributes include repeating te same nonsence form his or her limited vocabulary over and over again. We have someone like this at a board I post on. Take care!

Lawyer

You haven't come across The Lawyer yet then? He endlessly quotes from legal sources to back up his off topic arguments, threatens to sue the discussion board members if they mock him, and finally gets the discussion board closed by the site hosts panickig about legal costs after he actually submits a law suit into a court claiming defamation. They don't get much nuttier or more lethal than The Lawyer, despite his professed love of free speech. A Good site. I will use it next time i'm up against a troller. What does that make me??

Denier

Ahem. Is there a "Denier" category? The old "I don't wanna fight with you but..." thing comes to mind. Well done Mike. I hope you keep this site up since I just shared the link with a forum I post at.

Vulcan

The Vulcan is usually one of the forum’s most dispassionate and rational participants, observing arguments between members with cool disdain and staying out of them except to point out that one or both parties are failing to make use of their logic and deductive skills. But if you’ve ever watched Star Trek, you know what happens when a Vulcan loses control of his or her temper - utter chaos, and an outflow of emotion disproportionate to the seriousness of the argument at hand. The only way to defeat an out-of-control Vulcan is to invoke reason until the fit passes.

Punk

you should make a "punk" flamer. A guy who is completely anti-establishment and claims to be non-conformist when in fact they are conforming to every other punk just like them.

HIT & RUN

- the person that will jump into a discussion, make some type of controversial comment, then just disappear and not answer to the replies to his/her message. Truly the bane of many discussion threads. Keep up the great work!

Gangster

I have observed a variant of "the swarm" & "cyber sisters" that might warrant it's own entry -- the mafioso or gangster, that being a participant who brings in backup from other channels who swarm on opponents and usually can achieve astonishing economies of scale and resultantly sustain the calumny and win debates by administering the death of a thousand cuts. the gangster is distinguished from a similar type, the war criminal, by the latter's willingness to post personal information or undertake advanced propeller-head measures.

Spammer

- doesnt give a crap about what people say about him but he flames relentlessly and usually only to get his post up. often mistaken for royaly because he has gotten everywhere and ussually has an opinion on everything. easy to spot by the extreemly high post count Forum terrorist - banned countless times by admin but still keeps coming back more lives than a litter of cats usually bitter and is the one to start flamewars he can be mistaken for a newbie who has teeth and knows the population generally hated by the admin and nannys Caution: evil clown, rebel leader and troller may turn into Forum Terrorist unless headed

General Custer

-- General Custer is the moderator that Admin cannot get rid of. His incompetency lies in his knack for participating in the very stupidity he is suppose to be ironing out. Unsurprisingly, General Custer commands no power in a healthy flame war, and his threats to do his job can easily be snuffed out by a few posts from Archivist or Philosopher.

Rosy Riveter - Unexplainably content and optimistic, Rosy Riveter always has suggestions for other members' improvement. He is a NitPick with initiative, tirelessly working to construct a civilized utopia. Evil-Clown and Jerk find this warrior the most difficult to give a jackassed reply. Rosy finds his power in first telling brutes exactly what they want to hear: I am paying attention to you. For example, he will begin his post with "Hi [name here]! I've been reading your posts, and blah de blah blah" sowing ample smiley faces throughout his slam. Even Admin at times succumbs to th

The Paster:

Not an original thought in their heads. They have voluminous access to a vast collection of web sites that echo what opinions they would have if they were only capable of original thought. A Paster's armor consists of page after page of cut and paste posts. No point is too trival to escape twenty lineal inches of cut and paste replies.

Socratick

- Someone who responds to every post with a question, or something to the effect of "Can you really know anything about *x*?" Easy to spot, hard to bring down. Most of the time they are also trolls, but the genuine socratick is hard to bring down.

The Puppet

- an alias for a longtime resident, who always, or almost always agrees with it's puppeteer. The human flame - A normal poster, who regularly adds to the forum, and usually avoids flame wars, until he is personally attacked. Then he erupts in flames, and is easily able to vanquish his enemies.

School Kid (it's what they menat - comment by Fence Sitter)

. A suggestion would be to add a "schoolboy/schoolgirl warrior". I play a RPG where we get many of them, always whining about some test they have to take or bragging about how they "should" be in class..."rolls her eyes".

Hydra

I think I'd say I was a "hydra", using the term from the Greek mythos: http://www.mythweb.com/encyc/gallery/hydra_c.html A many-headed monster. At times I've been Godzilla.. or Stone Deaf.. or Jerk.. or Tireless Rebutter.. or Ego.. or Rebel Leader.. or touches of many of the others. (it's sick how many of these I can relate to.. heh) Yeah, using a term like "chameleon" would work, but lacks a certain flair. Both Jekyll/Hyde and Imposter, those also could be used.. but don't quite fit.

The Tough Guy.

You know, the one who likes to talk about how much he can bench, how he's a black belt, his fight experience, etc. Often a predictable warrior, when things aren't going his way in a battle, he will often tell the other warrior that he "wouldn't say that if they were standing there face to face", or will threaten bodily harm. In some cases, Tough Guy will want to arrange a meeting place so he can fight it out with the other warrior physically, even pay for plane tickets, and will call the other warrior a "pussy" or something to that effect, if they laugh at the idea. L'Enfant Provocateur, Jerk, and Evil Clown often like to taunt him into a rage. I think you got my email about Invaders too.

Munchausen's by Internet

Very good site, but I'm surprised you're missing Munchausen's by Internet. You know, the member who is suddenly replaced by her best friend, who says that the original member has died in a horrific way, and by the way, this new poster has breast cancer, and had an abortion once, and got raped, and lost her parents, etc., etc., ... and when she gets called on it, she mysteriously disappears, to be immediately replaced by a totally different persona who has AIDS instead of cancer, gave her baby up for adoption, had her arm cut off, ad nauseam. Her problems also often relate to the issues at hand - for instance, if you're talking about abortion, then she had one once, or she got raped and didn't have an abortion; if it's gay marriage, then her lover is dying of something or other and they desperately need to get married so her health insurance will cover her. You can't win, because she invariable has some personal tragedy that trumps your logical argument. *sigh*

Smiley and Schizo

Two that i didn't see are the "Smiley"- who uses one of those auto smiley faces in every post, Istant message, or chat room they visit. The other is the schizo, who has many different screen names, even on the same site, and acts differently according to his sn. I happen to fall into the schizo category ;) (and partially the smiley one :P))

The Polymorph

I suggest "The Polymorph": Fits into any category sometimes, The Polymorph is known to ally with a Kung-Fu Master or Admin, just to keep himself alive. WARNING: This species can slip through the attacks of all but Newbie and Lamer. He soon goes crazy and assumes the form of Loopy or Garble.

suggest Depressed

I have one suggstion - those people that find everyone and everything unlikeable and unfunny and moan about it endlessly. I can't think of a name though...

Chameleon

YOu did neglect Chameleon (or Shapeshifter?) that bizarre creature that morphs into an endless variety of other warriors depending on its mood, day of the week etc but most importantly, which Warrior it's currently confronting. Can be a formidable opponent...so I hear. :-)

BORED GUY AT WORK

How about the BORED GUY AT WORK? This is the guy who will flutter around to various messageboards, incites flamewars, but when personally attacked claims he just got busy at work and can't post anymore. Then he'll come back a little later after everything has calmed down and explain how he now has more time on his hands. Bored guy at work usually fits into the troller or Lurker categories.

suggest Too Funny

I think Yuk Yuk is missing his companion -- the person who responds *LOL* and *ROFLMAO* to every lame joke without ever contributing much beyond that.

The Log Dropper

Posts binaries on text newsgroups and mailing lists. When told by the nanny or the dominatrix that binaries are reserved for groups with "binaries" in the name, the true Log Dropper invariably whinges about the silly restrictions as though standards commonly used and understood across the world are there simply to inconvenience him personally, and then he *does it again*, wheras the newbie simply apologises.

The MIME

Uses Outlook to post HTML messages on groups that don't use them. Deeply, deeply loathed by free persons not held in thrall to the Beast of Redmond.

The Paratroopers

I've seen a paratrooper attack once. It was alt.atheism.holysmoke and four or five subgenii dropped in - Stang, Iceknife, Nenslo - it was surreal. They were using all their subgenius in-jokes and whatnot, and no one could deal with it because they had not heard the word of "BOB". Then as quickly as they arrived, they vanished leaving a field of dead bodies.

The Loler

The Loler (says LOL! or lol, after everything he says because he can't handle letting his words stand alone), the Legend (he rode away into the sunset long ago after completely changing the face of the internet while performing the most admired, daring, extreme feats that anyone has ever seen...he's still talked about, long after his departure...even people who never knew him know of him and speak about him in whispers...and once in a very lucky blue moon, he visits to say hi and check up on his old companions who kept his legacy alive), and The Creator (he invented the site, and everyone's heard about him, but no one can really validate his existence...some argue that he's just a figment of someone's imagination, though the die-hards that have been there from the beginning know better). Keep up the great work!

Miss Short Attention Span

I'm Miss Short Attention Span. I am more than willing to post a topic, give a reply or offer an answer but I tend to veer away from loooong messages and flame wars because they get mired too quickly for my taste (and no offence, definately when people post what someone posted what someone posted in toto and then finish up with...I agree...you've lost me by the first sentence!) I love posting, I just don't want to spend five hours reading something that doesn't interest me. (Though Miss/Mr Short Attention Span probably will latch onto a topic of interest and read that in total regardless of whats going on. Perhaps, Selective Flamer/Listener is the word for this.

The spammer and Meower

The spammer (self explanatory) and the meower. The meower posts useless, incomprehensible, meaningless posts for the sake of taking up bandwidth and other netizens' time. Meowers tend to swarm, and can cause the shutdown of entire usenet groups if unchecked. The name derives from the quintessential meow, quoted here in its entirety: "Meow meow Matt Bruce meow meow Henrietta Pussycat meow meow Presidents of the United States of America meow Kitty?" More information is available at http://www.gwu.edu/~trivia/meow.html

The Shocker

The Shocker he/she is like a grenade, but instead of posting an entire thread, they post one message so vile, so grotesque, that the field gets exploded in a pile of groans, screams for mercy, and other warriors usually end up fleeing the battle scene to try and recollect what happened... the favorite tools of Shocker are posting images/links that are of the extreme nature talk of insane sex acts, extreme violent tendencies Shocker will employ these tactics stealthily, you won't see it coming they might hide a link to a grotesque website by using wording completely different than the actual context WARNING: Shocker is similar to Compost, and Stealth and can only be defeated either by Admin, or a steady build-up of a warriors defences

Neo Nazi

Spams the board with aload of racist crap, when called a Neo Nazi they will either blow their top or deny it.

L33t Talker

Just what the board needs, another useless band width sucker, spits out lots of garbled up words, goes off topic, and confuses most non-l33t speakers. Not to be confused with Garble.

TWISTER :

Twister fights on the principal that everything is written in pencil, and that erasers exist for a reason. He can swear blindly that black is white, and conjure up proof to validate it. Twister's main tactics often include quoting his opposition mercilessly, interrupting every sentance with comments to discredit and bamboozle. One of Twister's other defining characteristics is twisting language to his own ends, making every missed comma, every misplaced word work against his enemy. Hotheaded warriors are viciously hacked down by Twister, any comment contradicting one another exploited in combat to full extent. Archivist is his only effective opponent : Even Twister has probably said something in some previous battle that contradicts what he's saying in this one, and Archivist can bring these comments back to haunt him.

CUTIE:
Rising up on the heirarchy, she'll have a lot of men depend on her very existance. One day, she just stop all responcibility she had, and yet still won't be fired from her responcibilities. She usually depends on her supposed sexiness and the fact that pratically every male likes her. Stays out of fights, and lets her followers fight for her. Usually reminded of responcibilites, but if it's anyone below her, the reminder will be swiftly punished.
SKILLZ:
Although not a verbose fighter, is still a respectable Warrior. Skillz relys on art, music, or anything else that a 'normal' person can't do. Although Skillz does not fight directly, he can do some nice below the belts later.
PICS: No one knows much about this person. All he does is post random pictures of things. Some relating to the topic and none at all.
HACKER:
Everyone in awhile, you'll get a true hacker. This guy can bring down Microsoft in an hour if he really wanted to. Usually he doesn't do anything. Hacks himself to the top of the heirarchy. Board owners hire hacker to run the server and do other things. Has a twisted sence of humor. If you dare to make him mad, he'll find someway to himiliate you.
RICH UNCLE PENNY BAGS:
A rich person, usually older than the avarage age of the board. He pays for the server in return for respect and admin rank. He can do almost anything he wants, and nobody cares. Anything he says, goes. In the rare moments he makes Admin or Nanny mad about something he changed, they just change it back.

STALKER.

DO NOT attempt to engage this warrior under ANY circumstances. Stalker will usually use the guise of a simple netizen, but once aroused, things get personal. Upon being attacked, Stalker will blacklist the offender and learn everything about them. Once the Stalker has gotten a bearing on their target, they will make it their priority to turn their victims life in to a living hell. Stalker will follow thier victim around the forums, posting just after thier prey and harassing them at every turn. If the Stalker thinks they are being followed themselves or that Admin is about to ban them, Stalker will assume the tactics of Stealth or Lurker. If the Stalker is beaten, they will use other messaging systems to assault their victim. The only way to get rid of a Stalker is to apologise to them. WARNING! Prolonged exposure to Stalker will most certainly turn even the strongest warrior into Innocence Abused, Crybaby, or Stealth.

THE TWINS

They either know each other in real life or have an online history together prior to joining the forum. Most of their posting activity is directed at each other, with the topic usually only being of interest to them (although Coffee Klatch will sometimes get involved) -- their family, friends, and shared experiences from the past, or just catching up on news. Inside jokes a-plenty. When attacked for off-topicness or simply told to take it to e-mail, they (of course) band together to form a pretty strong team. Not real offensive Warriors, their main tactic of defense is to giggle over how "naughty" they're being and launch into a whole discussion about something similar that happened to them three years ago. Their most powerful weapon is confusing and boring other Warriors with their endless, private prattle.

The Lurker

The Lurker is a lurker because he doesn't know what the personality of the forum is. He is not sure how to act, and how everyone else will react to him. Afraid of being flamed for looking helpness or looking like a newbie, he quietly reads the messages on a forum board. He is a blank slate, open to whatever is necessary to be accepted into the forum; he is a newcomer who doesen't want to look like a newcomer. After reading a certain number of posts (varies depending on the person/forum), the lurker will finally feel comfortable enough to attempt a post. He has finally decided what type of 'flame warrior' to be, but, due to the nature of the lurker, he is inexperienced, and is either quickly forgotten, or crushed by far more experienced warriors.

Spammer

also you forgot some important warriors like spamers which I happen to be one of. :D

Snipper

SNIPER "enters into battle with carefully chosen targets where his likelyhood of success is highest"

The Typographist

"The Typographist," whose participation in a discussion is limited solely to emoticons and tired chat acronyms such as "OMG," "IMHO," "ROFL," and, of course "ROFLMAO" Replaces the period in every sentence with the most(in)appropriate smiley face. Typographist does not usually initiate discussion, nor contribute anything useful or interesting. Mostly a reactionary echo for his/her betters. Typographist pretty much annoys the hell out of anyone who has been on the internet for more than 2 months. Eagle Scout may come to Typographists defense, but even the most sensitive warriors will tend to distance themselves. Sort of like the bastard love child of Newbie and Bliss Ninny.

Spammer

Nice site, but where's "Spammer"? Me is FarKalkir, Lord of the Spam! w00t!

King Smiley

[Hint:] King of the Smiley....;o)

suggest Scared

Hope this hasn't already been covered, but under which classification does the person fall under who fakes a suicide/death on the message board? Usually female, creates a new name to announce on the board that the "other person" has died.(Usually in a car wreck.) Other person comes back to life (Lazarus) to apologize for faking a death, but was being stalked online and had to do it.

Road Ragers

I would suggest ROAD RAGERS. Another highly recognizable topic with many possibilities.

Oldie:

The elite groupo that tends to form on forums that've been around for a while, Oldies usuaully will flaunt their position. Any challenge toward one established Oldie is considered an assault on all. In the end Oldies only respect one thing- respect. The only way to defeat an Oldie is to be able to gain their respect, or else they will never admit defeat.

h4x0r:

With their l33t knowledge of the interent, a h4x0r's main weapon is the fact that they really do know how to crash your computer. Or at very least you website, e-mail, forums, and everything else they can find online associated with you. They love to make use of their own specialized internet jargon(s). h4x0r's are different from Propeller Heads: they tend to have a real attitude and typically are not what one

Cross Post Inciter.

He will extend the groups where a thread gets sent to include any group that is sure to respond with virulent flames for self amusement although will INSIST that it is of high relevance to both groups.

suggest Picture Album

Do you have an accurate portrayal fags who post those stupid pictures all the time rather than just either addressing the issue or adding to the conversation?

Whinning Baby:

The whinning baby only posts in discussion forums on 2 occasions. 1. when he feels that people are insulting him and 2. when he wants to insult others. Beyond those reasons he takes on the personality of The Lurker... Ironically this same person who is quick to dish out his views on others whines relentlessy when the negative attention is focused on him. He then accuses the other board members of being unfair and unsympathetic to his plight, while he remains virtually ignorant (by choice)to theirs. He cloaks his insults behind the banner of "just telling the truth" , then squalls like the baby he is when the truth is given to him. He has a flame warrior allie known as the Blamer who ALWAYS makes it a point to point out to others that they're the sole cause of the board's problems. Whinning baby and The Blamer join hands in a campaign to fault EVERYONE ELSE on the board who they feel is unsupportive of their cause or who dare attempt to show them how hypocritical they ca

The Hypocrite.

The hypocrite often points out flaws or problems of his opponents and then makes fun of them, but most of those flaws or problems are probably problems of his as well. He generally makes fun of those flaws and hides his to fit in or look "cool".

Misinterpreter.

The Misinterpreter belives himself to be the only participant in posession of a functioning brain. All others are clearly fools who need to be reminded of even the most obvious facts. Misinterpreter's messages typically begin with a sentence of the form, "If by 'flame warrior' you refer to person who puts out fires, I suggest you familiarize yourself with the term 'fire fighter.' (Now tell me, what's all this about different types of angry people on the internet, and what does it have to do with fighting fires?)" Experienced warriors understand that Misinterpreters are best ignored - they feed on the ambiguities of written language, and the time required to construct a sentence completely devoid of ambiguity may well exceed the estimated lifetime of the known universe.

followup by another guest
Misinterpreter could be pictured with a pile of dictionaries and thesauruses or something.

Last Word.

This is a warrior who recognizes neither victory nor defeat, whose sole pleasure comes from replying to another Warrior's flame. When victorious, Last Word will remind his opponent of their defeat. When defeated, Last Word will change the subject - but can be counted on to send SOME form of reply. Famous last words: "Stop? I stopped fighting with her early this morning. What are you talking about?"

Hypocondriac

- usually a female warrior, often a member of the Cyber Sisters, and best friends of Fragile Femme and Furious Typer, she will spontaneously, and in the midst of bloody battle, post a lengthy and detailed medical history of every medical problem she has ever had. Usual ailments include pre-menstrual syndrome, chronic back pain, cooties, sexually acquired infections, parasuicide and near-death experiences, often finishing with a seemingly impossible life-crisis situation - you know the one I mean, don't you? Naturally, the battlefield dissolves in a flood of tears, a few murmers of sympathy are heard, followed by a deathly silence, thus putting an end to all reasonable combat for a 24 hour period. I also hate the Quote Manipulater, as detailed by Djimbe (16 June 2002). As for myself - I am a mixture of Lurker, Yuk Yuk and have been occasionally adopted the role of Me-Too to support Big Dog - well, I *am* his wife ;-)

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