Flame Warriors ~ View topic

Clueless Newb Joined: 15 Aug 2008 Posts: 24

Hi all,

I noticed in my Nero post, I had originally intended to post more than Nero, so to make it up, here's 4 more warriors.....

The Ephors
In some forums, rather than having a single Admin who is the centralized authority, you have The Ephors, who are a collection of 3 or more Admins that share power equally across the forum, and form a sort of tribunal as the governing body of the forum. In rarer cases, on certain forums where the administrator is inept or ineffective, such as Clueless Owner, Nero or Ninny Admin, The Ephors manifest as a group of highly effective mods which forum members see as the “true leaders” of the forum, and sometimes Royals, Swarms and unified Bouncers can become The Ephors if moved up to mod or admin status, or they can even be a cartel of Godfathers, Guardians, Ronins, Sarges, or Rebel Leaders who united at one point and turned the former leadership into a Deposed Emperor. Any Faction Man who is successful can sometimes result in an establishment of The Ephors.

Regardless of which situation applies, The Ephors are the undisputed ones in control of the forum. When troublemakers arise, The Ephors descend upon them like The Furies to keep order in the forum, and no Flame War takes place without The Ephors’ blessing. The nature and leadership styles of The Ephors can be the difference between utopia and martial law in a forum.

Most of the time, The Ephors tend to be even-tempered and just, observing the forum regularly to ensure all the members enjoy themselves and play by the rules. As a leadership unit, much like the Cyber Sisters of lesser status, The Ephors back each other up and echo each other’s sentiments when upholding justice or laying down the law, and often as a result, the members of the forum know what is permissible. Any disagreements among fellow Ephors are usually discussed outside the eyes of the forum, with members only seeing the final decision rather than debate. Rule-benders such as Weasel and Crash-Test Dummy often can’t abide in forums run by The Ephors, because their collaboration in running the forum leaves very little room for argument. When Flame Wars break out, The Ephors are highly effective at quelling outbursts, and driving off even the fiercest troublemakers, such as Godzilla.

But alas, if a group of corrupt individuals become The Ephors, the forum can turn from a friendly, open environment to an oppressive atmosphere; this usually happens when totalitarians such as Abusive Admins, Netiquette Nazis, Howlers, Cyber Sisters, and even unified Jerks, come to power and evolve into The Ephors. The same unity remains, and as a result, fear and intimidation are spread across the forum with much greater efficiency because of The Ephors’ united front. Many members will free from the oppression for greener pastures, and the ones who remain usually become Sycophants.

Whether good or bad, The Ephors are a powerful force, and any hope of victory is slim to none because of the power they wield. It takes a strong and determined warrior such as Kung Fu Master or Big Dog to muster enough courage to go against The Ephors, or it takes a group of several warriors to match their numbers; sometimes Assassin will be commissioned to take out The Ephors individually, and there have been instances where Rambo rises from the ashes and crushes The Ephors into oblivion.

The best, and sometimes the only, chance at victory against The Ephors, is playing them against one another and eroding their unity; if this can successfully be done, then all it takes is picking The Ephors off one-by-one. If one Ephor stands out as a particular leader and is taken out, the remaining Ephors soon fold like dominoes. NOTE: Defeated Ephors sometimes return as Poisoners, unified or un-unified.

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Gripe
Gripe is a forum denizen that can hardly be considered a warrior, but more of an insufferable nuisance to any forum.

Gripe’s sole purpose in life seems to be to complain; while some complaints have well-reasoned arguments about particular topics that can evolve into meaningful discussion/debate, Gripe’s complaints are about one thing: the forum itself. On a regular basis, Gripe will post his laundry list of complaints for all to see about what he doesn’t like about the forum; the topics, the lack of topics, the design, the text, the color of the text, the user-friendliness of the forum, the leadership (especially if Gripe is also Rebel Without a Clue)….you name it, Gripe will complain about it.

While Gripe is generous in his complaints, he never offers any solutions to the alleged problems, or offers to help in any way, and if any changes do take place in his favor, he will usually find something new to complain about. Gripe differs from Lobbyist and Nitpick in that his complaints lack any shred of reasoning, and often substantial counterarguments, and seems only to complain for the sake of complaining. The only warrior that Gripe is really effective against is Ninny Admin, who will bend to Gripe’s every wish in the hopes he will be placated, only to be met with further grievances.

Despite all that Gripe finds wrong with the forum, he never does leave. Most warriors choose to ignore him, and if he becomes too nauseating, Nanny or Admin will ban him when appropriate, or simply reduce him to a Figment.

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Wildfire
Wildfire isn’t a warrior, but more of a tactic, and can also be used to describe the nature of a specific type of flame war.

Wildfire is more commonly seen on e-mail group discussions, but can also occur in forums too if posted across multiple topics. Wildfire usually starts when one member, which is usually Firestarter or a Newbie, submits a single post. The problem is that the post, rather than be sent only to those members who are relevant to the discussion, it is sent to each and every possible person in the group, whether they want it or not. In turn, several respondents simultaneously begin using the “Reply To All” button on e-mail rather than replying to the sender, and the inboxes begin to pile up quickly. On posts, a Wildfire-igniting post is sent across several threads, topics and sub-topics.

After the first couple posts, be they e-mail or forum postings, everyone is either replying or trying to stop further replies by contacting everyone, and Wildfire is in full blaze. Inboxes overload by the dozens, and bandwidth is consumed like candy. Victims of a Wildfire will often try to put it out with responses such as “Stop spamming everyone!” or “Stop hitting Reply To All”, which actually feeds the flames rather than extinguishes them because they continue being sent to everyone. Wildfire can only die down with time, and reason, and the only warriors who can really douse a Wildfire are Nanny or Admin by locking the thread or restricting e-mails. NOTE: Sometimes Godzilla will intentionally start Wildfires to wreak havoc on a forum.

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PG
Though sometimes a father, PG is often a concerned mother who will reactively join a forum to ensure that the forum is a safe place for her child/children. In rare circumstances, PG can also be a Toxic Granny looking out for her grandchildren.

Rather than utilize parental controls over the internet, or monitor her child’s overall usage of the internet, PG will jump into the midst of the forum whenever she finds anything that she deems as “inappropriate”, and impose her parental concern onto all of the forum members by attempting to censor or regulate forum discussions, holding everyone but herself accountable. A hater of bad language, sex talk, and violence, PG considers herself a crusader for a family-friendly internet, despising gutter-mouthed, lecherous warriors such as Perv, Strumpet and Compost, and will not hesitate to shout them down; she has often been known to jump to the defense of sensitive warriors such as Innocence Abused, and if she needs further support, her husband will may appear on the forum as The Other Half. Sometimes, Evil Clown, Compost and Jerk will purposely post profane/vulgar text or materials to provoke PG into a towering rage, and Captain Fantasdick will enrage her further by trying to hit on her and asking if she’s a “MILF”.

PG is often the mommy of a Net Rat, and if Net Rat comes under fire for their mischief on the forums, or is also Crybaby and alerts PG of the forum “meanies”, PG will spring to their defense with almost lioness-like ferocity, while at the same time refusing to take any parental responsibility herself.

Depending on the nature of the forum, PG’s arguments may have some merit, especially if there are particular rules or age-appropriate guidelines in the forum; in these cases, Nanny will often back her up. Though most times, PG wades into a forum that isn’t necessarily x-rated, but clearly isn’t intended for certain age groups, which states as such. In these cases, Nanny will often politely refer her to the forum guidelines and recommend she exercise parental control, not yielding to PG's call for banning any member unless they go too far; if PG's tirade continues, she may be asked to leave, or is eventually banned by Admin. Philosopher and other well-reasoned warriors are often effective against her, and may cause her to become Artful Dodger if they confront her about taking responsibility for her children, her favorite response usually being "I want what's best for my kids!" or "You don't know what it's like, being a parent!". Weasel may even weigh in with “That kind of talk really isn’t against the rules you know.”, and if PG wanders into a forum full of Howlers, it isn’t long they send her packing.

Though good-intentioned, PG can be a self-righteous and irritating warrior.

Thanks again for your continuing suggestions.

I'm sort of short for time to have a look for the suggestions similar to PG, but I do like your well described version. Boy, have I run into those types over the years.

As a side note - If they believe they have a big presence in the forum, list or group, they are sometimes prone to turning rabid and eventually morphing into various types of Moral Cop.
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The important thing is knowing who owns the fence

Clueless Newb Joined: 15 Aug 2008 Posts: 24

Hi Fence,

Thanks again, glad you like these Smile

I can empathize with you running into PGs. My inspiration for PG came actually from several counter-flames on a guestbook. There was a Net Rat who was wreaking a lot of havoc on a forum relentlessly, while at the same time promoting his AOL webpage, and guestbook. So naturally, there were a few warriors who took the fight to his guestbook to retaliate.

Well, PG (or Net Rat masquerading as PG) soon came to the rescue by way of replying in the guestbook, saying the warriors should "grow up" and to "stop destroying a little boy's dreams".

I like your description for Moral Cop, and can definitely see PGs evolving into this.

Clueless Newb Joined: 15 Aug 2008 Posts: 24

Hello Pictionary.

"NOTE: Sometimes Godzilla will intentionally start Wildfires to wreak havoc on a forum. "

Sometimes it can happen by accident as well. Or because those damn soldiers were firing wildly. I didn't really mean to burn the place to the ground.
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"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro."

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The important thing is knowing who owns the fence

Go'zirra!
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Everything that has transpired in this thread has done so according to my design.
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Clueless Newb Joined: 15 Aug 2008 Posts: 24

LOL! Of course you didn't mean to Godzilla, of course not.

Who would've thought sneezing would have such catastrophic consequences Wink

In all honesty, I think these suggestions are pretty much original. Quite a breath of fresh air into this stagnant place.
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Chaos Revenant:
Doing What You Don't Have The Guts To Since 2006

It only smells bad because of the rotting corpses.
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