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I had a great idea the other day that I finally implemented today.

The is a little alcove outside our office with vending machines in it. The drinks machine is one of those glass-fronted ones where you see all the rows/columns of drinks and you make your selected with a letter/number combination (ie: A-7). A couple of bits move, and your drink falls out and down to the bottom through a little plastic door.

Well, I was trying to find an easier way to get free drinks than shaking the machine to dislodge random beverages and came upon an idea. The plastic door at the bottom can be reached from outside the machine. You can't open it to reach up in the machine (standard anti-theft stuff) but it is designed such that you can put a clip on either end to hold it shut (this is a design flaw, not intention, IMO).

I went out around lunch time and clipped it shut with two of those black office spring clip things for holding large amounts of paper together. Going back to check on it just now, I had "caught" 2 Lemon-Lime PowerAdes. Not my all-time favortie drink, but certainly palable.

I wonder how long it will be before people catch on. I figure I can get at least a dozen drinks out of it.

Powerade, the blacksheep cousin to Gatorade I always say...

Ahhh, bastards in high school used to do that. They'd wedge a pen into the door so your drink wouldn't come out. They didn't do it for poaching reasons like you. They just liked annoying people.
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My reasons are probably 60/40 annoyance and poaching I guess. Or maybe the other way around.

Dark Lord of the Stealth Joined: 27 Dec 2004 Posts: 361

I can't remember what you wrote in the "Do you know self defense?" thread, Brian, but it sounds like you might be using it soon.

If someone gets between me and my Gatorade Ice, it's personal. Mad

--Alistair

I might've written something about how I've always got a 3 or 4" blade on me and a .45 within arms reach most times.

Free drinks? HAH! All you need is a can of freon and a chissel and you'll have acess to any vending machine on the planet.
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The following was posted with permission (of course). The names have been changed to protect the guilty.

Der Uberfriar (2:09:40 PM): link to this thread omitted
Teh I-Man (2:13:20 PM): Ha! that's great
Der Uberfriar (2:13:54 PM): thanks
Der Uberfriar (2:14:03 PM): we cause all manner of trouble around here
Der Uberfriar (2:14:26 PM): link omitted
Teh I-Man (2:14:44 PM): your work?
Der Uberfriar (2:14:56 PM): well, thats the building where our office is
Teh I-Man (2:15:01 PM): Ah
Der Uberfriar (2:15:17 PM): not many good pics really
Der Uberfriar (2:15:24 PM): used to be DEC headquarters
Der Uberfriar (2:15:29 PM): it's a 200 year old mill
Teh I-Man (2:15:40 PM): Has a decent look to it.
Teh I-Man (2:16:07 PM): You know, the easiest way for you to get free drinks would be to get or create a key to the soda machine.
Der Uberfriar (2:16:47 PM): I've done that in the past
Der Uberfriar (2:16:57 PM): but these are the new half-round keys/locks, way harder to dupe
Der Uberfriar (2:17:31 PM): quote often drinks get "wedged" when they fall, and a good solid boot kick dislodges the drink
Der Uberfriar (2:17:40 PM): I always wonder how much force it would take to just break the glass
Teh I-Man (2:18:42 PM): Hm. I'd suggest using slugs (coin-shaped things), but that might technically be counterfeiting and be a lot worse than petty theft.
Der Uberfriar (2:19:06 PM): modern machines detect those too easily
Der Uberfriar (2:19:18 PM): can't be anything magnetic, and the weight has to be close to actual as well
Teh I-Man (2:20:35 PM): What about cutting the back off of the machine with a circular saw, reattaching it but as a door, then building a tunnel to the rear of the machine?
Der Uberfriar (2:20:44 PM): rofl
Der Uberfriar (2:20:48 PM): yeah, that sounds easy
Teh I-Man (2:21:10 PM): You may have to rob a few convenience stores for the cash to get the saw and the tunneling equipment.
Der Uberfriar (2:21:27 PM): In all honesty, no. I already have such items Smile

Teh I-Man (2:21:39 PM): I mean, you could buy them with your own money, but that'd be silly since you just want to get soda.
Der Uberfriar (2:22:04 PM): link omitted
Der Uberfriar (2:22:09 PM): cast iron bathtub I cut in half
Teh I-Man (2:22:25 PM): Nice work.
Der Uberfriar (2:22:29 PM): Smile

thanks
Der Uberfriar (2:22:33 PM): was too heavy otherwise
Teh I-Man (2:22:54 PM): So all you need now is a way of leaving the building unoccupied long enough to build the tunnel, cut the back off the machine, then reattach it as a door.
Teh I-Man (2:23:02 PM): I have an idea.
Der Uberfriar (2:23:02 PM): brb
Der Uberfriar (2:23:07 PM): hahaha
Teh I-Man (2:23:23 PM): You start your own fight clubs. Once people get into it, you turn it into something of a mayhem project.
Der Uberfriar (2:23:40 PM): we have that
Teh I-Man (2:23:50 PM): Once you have enough members on the janitor staff, they'll just look the other way.
Der Uberfriar (2:23:57 PM): for easter, we put ~500 plastic eggs around the complex
Der Uberfriar (2:24:12 PM): many of them had Hustler ads for she-male phone sex in them
Teh I-Man (2:25:08 PM): Ha! That's great.
Der Uberfriar (2:25:49 PM): then there are all the odd things that seem to get expoxied down around the building
Teh I-Man (2:26:25 PM): Yet you still have to pay for soda.
Der Uberfriar (2:31:19 PM): lol
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I'll have to post some pictures of the remote control goose decoy with one of the "Family Radio" things embedded in it that we plan to launch on Monday.

There is a big pond near one of the buildings where a lot of smokers hang out. From our vantage point we can see the goose and the smokers easily.

The goose will motor into position near the smokers, and then unleash a verbal tirade about the ills of smoking.

Ha! Awesome idea.
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Thanks.

Sometimes, we even do work around here...

Lurker Joined: 07 Apr 2005 Posts: 4

Take two nickles, a bit of chewing gum or anything else sticky, insert into vending machine coin recepticle. Depending on the modle of the vending machine, this will jam it.

Come back later on that day with a large paperclip streighted out with a small hook on the end wide enough to grab a quarter.

By this method I was able to eat lunch and ride a bus home through highschool.

The Voice of Reason Joined: 31 Jan 2005 Posts: 1368

I'd have just shook the machine, yeah they might bust that way but it's kind of mean to keep people from their drinks, then collect them later. Gotta admit it's funny though, but still...
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I've got good news:

I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by NOT BUYING ANY.

Actually, I came up with a better plan than my last one. Best of all, it's simpler and more plausible. Build a dimensional gateway to nother plane where the Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy is real. Specifically Mostly Harmless. Steal the second version of the Guide, and reprogram it. Set it up so the reverse temporal engineering causes people who dislike your brand of soda accidentally hit the button when you're around. That way, when they bitch, you have a good chance of getting it off them for free or at a discount.

Simple!
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Scored a grape Fanta this morning.

WTF do people insist on buying all the shitty drinks? There are perfectly good cans of Pepsi that seem to go un-bought, except for when I have to break down and buy them myself.

Verbal Juggernaut Joined: 06 Mar 2005 Posts: 981

Gaaaaaah. Fanta. It's like drinking fizzy cough syrup. Now, if you're into cough syrup, then Fanta's probably your thing.

The Voice of Reason Joined: 31 Jan 2005 Posts: 1368

AAGGHHH!!! I have that horrible song they sing in the commercials stuck in my hear!
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FANTA FANTA Don't you wanna wanna fanta!?
FANTA FANTA Don't you wanna wanna fanta!?
FANTA FANTA Don't you wanna wanna fanta!?
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AAAGGGHHH!! Bat Dad now knows fear! Bat Dad now knows pain!
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I DON'T WANT YOU MARSH! I DON'T WANT YOUUUUU!
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I think I'll "deploy" the Fanta in some odd way.

I also am thinking about ordering some custom printed toilet paper with the leasing managers face on it...

Clueless Newb Joined: 09 Apr 2005 Posts: 10

Verbal Juggernaut Joined: 06 Mar 2005 Posts: 981

Ran-dy! Ran-dy! Ran-dy!
Did anyone else notice in that episode Kenny was unhooded for practically the whole thing and nobody said anything about it? First time since that Michael Jackson episode.

In other news...
I hate those new coke ads about the lime flavoring. Now everyone I know is singing it and it is very annoying!

Coke sucks ass. With or without lime. Some of you may disagree, but you're wrong Smile

Thanks for that. Now I've got that "I'm a pepper" jingle in my head, intermixed with a 20 year old Saturday Night Live skit.

On a related note, my drink imprisonment scheme seems to have come to an early end. I clipped it again this morning, and came back to find one of the clips missing. Someone had obviously bought another horrid drink, and then figured out how to get past my trap.

I'll have to re-engineer...